Crave Page 4

  She took several deep breaths, refusing to allow the tears to fall. Vale Valley had been her home for so long. She couldn’t even remember her life outside of it, and she didn’t want to.

  This was just … a nightmare.

  “Maya got one as well.”

  She closed her eyes and took another breath. The anger she felt consumed every single part of her.

  “They’re settled,” Matthew said, appearing in front of her. He held his hands up. “Sorry. I’ll head to my room. Get some studying done.”

  He’d been a real blessing the past couple of days, and right now she wasn’t behaving like a very good person.

  “Thank you, Matt. You’re amazing.”

  He winked. “Think about that when it comes to laundry day.”

  She chuckled.

  Alone with Duke, she pulled away, and he cupped her face, stroking her cheeks. “Why won’t you leave the house?”

  “It hurts too much. Everywhere I go, I have memories. They’re everywhere, and I can’t … I’m not that strong.”

  “You’re a strong woman, Holly. You’ve helped me raise my teenage son, and he’s becoming a fine man. You’re my old lady, and your mother taught you well.”

  A sob escaped.

  “Everyone is missing you. Mary, Zoe, Pike, Landon, everyone. The whole club, and Mary’s worried. Your blog, your world, don’t let it fall apart because of this.”

  “I don’t know what to do,” she said, grabbing his shirt, and pressing her face against his chest.

  “I know for a fact that Pie and several of the guys are eating at Mac’s place. They can’t stand the microwavable shit that’s on offer. Mac and cheese from a box. We’re better than that,” Duke said.

  “What happened to the other old ladies?”

  “They come and go, but they have work as well. The club hasn’t been the same since Russ and Sheila died. I hate to do this to you, babe, I know you need more time. I need you. The club needs you.”

  “Is he going to start a war?” Holly asked. “I don’t think I can stand another death. Not now, not ever.”

  “No. I won’t let it get to a war.” He pulled her close, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Do you think that’s what he wants?”

  “For his sake, I hope not.”

  She knew Duke had killed Anton. His death had come at Duke’s hand, and she didn’t care. Anton had played a game, and taken her parents from her.

  Pulling out of Duke’s arms, she grabbed the vase of flowers and walked outside, tossing it straight into the trash.

  ****

  Kasey bit her lip, wondering if she should continue up the drive or leave. Since her date last night with Chip, she’d been thinking about Holly, and wanted to do her a pie. She stayed up late last night baking the one her brother had made for her after their parents died, the one he always made for her when she felt ill or depressed.

  He’d called it the “get-well-soon-pie”: chocolate, caramel sauce, brownie, pie crust, and pudding.

  Probably enough calories to sink a ship but still, one slice always made her feel better. Of course, once she finished the slice she felt sick, but that was the curse. One slice never was enough, at least not to her.

  She tensed up as she saw a bike coming down the driveway. Duke stopped, and she pressed the button for her window to come down.

  “Hey, Kasey,” he said.

  “Hey. Erm, I hope it’s okay. I have a pie I made for Holly. Is it okay for me to go and see her? I know she’s been through a lot.”

  “I’d really appreciate it, actually. I think I’m finally getting through to her.” He nodded at her and took off. Making the final decision, Kasey drove down toward the ranch and climbed out of the car, reaching in for the pie as the front door opened.

  “Kasey, what a nice surprise,” Holly said.

  When she turned to see Holly, Kasey was shocked. In the past month since her parents’ death and funeral, Holly had lost a lot of weight.

  “I hope you don’t mind me crashing your time.” She lifted up the pie. “I came with gifts.”

  “Gifts are always appreciated.” Holly pulled her in for a hug, and Kasey tightened her arm around her, wanting to offer the other woman support.

  “Come in. Come in.”

  Entering the large ranch, she saw Matthew sitting on the sofa while the kids watched television.

  “I’ll keep an eye on them,” he said, giving her a wave.

  Kasey waved back, and she followed Holly into the kitchen.

  “I heard that you’ve been dating two of the Trojans MC,” Holly said.

  “Dating two? No, no, I’ve had lunch with Pie and dinner with Chip. I’m actually seeing him Sunday night. We’re going to watch a movie, and I’m rambling. I need to stop rambling so much.”

  Holly chuckled. “It’s nice to hear someone else talk for a change. I feel I spend way too much time with the kids.”

  “I wanted to give this to you. This was my brother’s recipe. He believed that it cured every single ailment in the world.”

  “Does it work?” Holly asked.

  “It helps. It doesn’t cure everything, but it helps. He … made it after my parents died.”

  Holly tensed up. “I totally forgot that your parents had died.”

  “A car accident. I was fifteen.”

  “Wow. So … young.”

  “I don’t think it matters what age you lose them. It hurts, and yours died in really bad circumstances.”

  “My real father did the hit.” Holly pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I get it. You’ve probably had a lot of people tell you that they understand. I guess in a way I do. They were killed because of a drunk driver. I remember the anger, the rage. I wanted to hurt them. My brother kept me stable.”

  “Then you lost your brother.”

  “Yes, and again everything went to crap. Pardon my language.”

  “I live with a lot of badass bikers. Crap is a tame word.”

  “You’ve not been around the bikers though. Chip said that you’ve not been around as much.” Kasey didn’t know why she was talking and invading Holly’s privacy like this. She didn’t even know if she could help her. She only knew she had to try.

  Holly finished making them both a coffee, and placed it in front of her, taking a seat at the table.

  “The life I led, it wasn’t the truth. My mom was on the run from my father, and the Trojans had such a hard reputation that Russ kept us all safe.” Holly rubbed at her eyes. “The clubhouse was Russ’s for so long. Every room holds a memory to me. I remember so much laughter, and then of course the lies.” Holly averted her gaze. “The parking lot, where they were shot just outside the clubhouse.”

  “They’re all memories.”

  “Every single one.”

  Kasey sat back, and thought about it. “I work in Vale Valley hospital. My brother died in that hospital, in the emergency room where I work. I go inside there every single day. The pain at times gets less, but then there are times it only seems to get worse.” She paused, watching Holly’s reaction. “I even got to the store where he got shot. Our memories don’t define who we are. Actions do.” Her brother had been shot outside of a store. It was a random shooting that he’d gotten in the middle of. She’d never forget the phone conversation, or that incredible feeling of loneliness after he died.

  “I don’t feel strong enough.”

  “You’re a mother, Holly. You’re a strong woman. You’ve just got to realize how strong.”

  Tears filled Holly’s eyes, and without waiting, Kasey was out of her seat and holding onto the other woman. “It’s fine for you to hide, but you can’t do it forever.”

  “Why are you helping me?”

  “I was following your blog, and I’ve not cooked anything new that has worked in so long. I miss you and Mary. Please, please, please, help a woman out.”

  “You use our blog?”

  “From the momen
t I first stumbled onto it. Your pictures have become a lot better, and clearer. Everything that you guys create works.” She hugged Holly another time and stepped back. “Shall I cut you a slice of pie? It may work.”

  “Go on. I’d love to try it.”

  Finding a knife, Kasey cut two slices, putting one in front of Holly. She took a seat again, and watched as Holly took a bite. “This is good.”

  “A cure for most ills.”

  “You know, I’m so pleased you came today.”

  “You are?”

  “Yes. Duke and I talked last night, and he told me he needed me.”

  Kasey took another bite of the pie. “It should have come from someone else.”

  Holly shook her head. “No. Mary tried. As did Zoe, and Leanna, even my sister, Maya. They all tried, and I told them to get out.” She blew out a breath. “Wow, I owe a lot of apologies.”

  “You still love to cook though, right?”

  “I love it.”

  “Then I’d just do a big luxurious spread or something, and maybe throw in an apology,” Kasey said.

  “You think that would do the trick?”

  “Yeah. I do.” She’d seen the way the guys respected and cared for Holly. She was the queen in their world. “If you ever need to talk, I don’t mind listening.”

  “Thank you, Kasey.” Holly covered her mouth as chocolate drizzled down the corner of her mouth. “This is really good pie.”

  “My brother’s cure.”

  “Can I use it on our blog? You will get total credit.”

  “No. Could you credit my brother?”

  “Yes,” Holly said.

  “Then yes. When I get home, I’ll write it down for you.”

  Finishing off her pie, Kasey stayed for another cup of coffee, and then she climbed into her car, heading home.

  She hoped she’d helped Holly.

  Loss was hard for everyone. Coping with that loss was also different, and she understood Holly’s withdrawal. She’d done the same, only she’d wanted to turn to drugs, which she hadn’t, in the end.

  Life had a way of throwing you into paths you never thought you’d venture down. Kasey intended to help as many people as possible. It was one of the reasons she became a nurse.

  ****

  The following day, Chip stood in the doorway of the kitchen and wondered if he’d entered the Twilight Zone or something.

  The kitchen was spotless, and he knew last night it had been totally trashed with beer bottles everywhere.

  “Am I seeing this right?” Floss asked.

  “Damn, that’s Holly?” Pie asked.

  All of the guys were standing in the doorway as Holly whirled around to glare at them. “Seriously, I’ve been gone a short time and you guys can’t even clean up after yourselves? I checked the laundry room. How do you guys even have clothes? There’s piles mountain-high. Who’s been in charge while I’ve been away?”

  Everyone pointed at everyone else, and she tutted.

  “I come here to make everyone Sunday lunch, and I’ve already had to call reinforcements with the other old ladies. I cannot cook in this kitchen.” She put down the bag she’d been holding, and moved toward two large bags. “I have brisket. A pot roast all planned with lots of dressing, vegetables, the works, and I can’t get it done with this mess.” She held up a large brisket, and knowing Holly, there were at least three if not four that size.

  It had been a long time since she cooked on a Sunday.

  Just the thought of the food that could be coming their way made his mouth water.

  She put the meat down and then grabbed the bag. “Ew, who had sex in the kitchen? This is just gross.” She held up a used condom.

  “I suggest you boys get to work,” Duke said. They turned to see him holding Bell, and he had a huge smile on his face. They had all been missing Holly, but none more so than Duke. “You want Sunday lunch, it’s time to start acting like you give a shit about this place.”

  No one complained as they all got started in cleaning up the clubhouse, opening up windows and cleaning the place.

  “She’s back! I’m so getting my burgers and pies,” Pie said.

  Chip couldn’t help but smile as he made his way into the kitchen wearing a pair of pink gloves to get cleaning.

  “Where do you need me to start?” he asked.

  “Cleaning the dishes. This place is just a mess. I had no idea it had gotten this bad, and I’m ashamed of myself for not checking on you guys sooner. This will not happen again.”

  She picked up all the beer cans and bottles, along with wrappings.

  “It’s good to have you back, Holly.”

  “It’s good to be back, actually. You should thank Kasey. That woman is a keeper.”

  Chip looked toward her. “Kasey?”

  “She came to visit me. We talked. I think she was nervous talking about her life. She’s lost so much, and she wanted to tell me that she understood, and that if I ever needed anyone to talk to, I wasn’t alone.”

  “You’re not alone,” Chip said.

  “She strikes me as being a keeper. Do I sense something like that between you two?” she asked.

  “I like her a lot.”

  “Pie’s also making a pitch for her,” Holly said.

  He shrugged. “I’m not worried.”

  Pie wasn’t really interested in winning over Kasey. Chip had no doubt that the brother probably fancied her, and maybe even wanted to fuck her, but the difference between him and Pie was that he wanted forever, not just a bit of fun.

  They got back to working, scrubbing the kitchen until it had a nice shine to it. The other old ladies arrived, and it wasn’t long before the clubhouse was back to its former self.

  “You did it,” Chip said, putting his arm around her shoulder, and giving her arm a squeeze.

  “I think my mother would be proud,” Holly said.

  He knew she hurt just saying that. “She would be.”

  Just then the kitchen door opened, and the woman Pie had taken from Landon came in. “Wow, this place sure cleans up nicely. You’re damn good at your job.”

  Chip watched as she brushed past them, heading for the coffee.

  “Do you know if the Prez is serious with his wife?”

  Holly tensed up, and Chip realized the sweet-butt didn’t have a clue who Holly was.

  “Duke’s into his wife, all right.”

  The sweet-butt glared at Holly. “Wasn’t talking to you. Why don’t you go and clean something? Everything needs to be cleaned after all.” She turned her smile to Chip, but he wasn’t impressed.

  Before he could do anything, Holly stepped forward. “You better watch your mouth. I’m Duke’s old lady. I’m his woman. I wear his patch, I’m by his side. Don’t think for a second for making a play for my man, or I will show you how an old lady deals with a person like you.”

  “Get gone,” Chip said.

  Holly shook from the rage.

  “You okay, momma bear?”

  “Have I really been gone that long the women don’t know me?” Holly asked.

  “That’s why I know I’ve not got a problem with Pie. She screwed Landon and Pie last night. I’ll let the boys know to keep an eye out. She looked like she was after a patch.”

  Holly took a deep breath. “I’ve got to get started on lunch. I don’t even want to know what is going on.”

  Chip left her to it. He didn’t cook anything other than heating up cans of premade chili.

  Heading outside for some fresh air and to get ready to go and pick Kasey up, he found Duke pulling out some bags of shopping from the back of the car.

  “It’s good to see her back.”

  “Whatever Kasey did, tell her thank you,” Duke said. “I talked to Holly, and I think I got through. But Kasey helped, I’m sure of it.”

  “Kasey’s lost everyone. I have no doubt she said something that struck a chord with Holly.”

  Duke nodded, rubbing at his eyes. “It has been a long few weeks.
”

  “Still, she’s back, and she’s cooking. The brothers look happy about that. Oh, Holly’s just had a run in with a new sweet-butt.”

  Duke groaned. “Why do I feel I’m not going to like this shit?”

  “You’re not. She thought Holly was a cleaner. I would have called cat fight, but you know I like to keep that shit to myself. Warn the brothers, though. I think that woman is trying to find herself a patch. Do what Crazy’s ex did on him.”

  Crazy’s ex, who was dead, had trapped him into marriage by getting pregnant. Of course, his ex hadn’t given a shit about the kid, and it had driven Crazy mad being attached to the bitch.

  Chip vowed never to fall for any of the tricks the club whores might try to play. He liked his life exactly the way it was.

  Of course, now he hoped that Kasey would like to join in that life with him.

  Chapter Five

  “You’re telling me nothing sexy happened?” Lindsey asked.

  “Nothing sexy. Nothing bad. We had a lot of fun.” Kasey laughed as she flipped another pancake. She didn’t have much choice in making them as Lindsey brought them ’round with her, and pretty much begged for her to cook them.

  She didn’t mind cooking.

  “This is so not fair. I bet he’d be amazing in the sack. Those big hands running all over your body, squeezing your tits, and ass, holding you still as he drove inside you.” Lindsey groaned. “My date so didn’t pan out.”

  “Are you a sex addict?”

  “Nah, maybe, I’m not sure. I can go without sex for a long time, and I’m not like desperate or anything, but you know how it is. Sometimes you just need to have a really good fuck.”

  Kasey didn’t dispute her neighbor, even though she couldn’t agree with her either.

  “Oh my God, are you telling me right now that you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about?” Lindsey asked.

  “Of course I do.”

  “No. You see, Kasey, I know you, and that face right there is not a face of someone who gets what I’m saying. Have you even had sex before?”

  “Of course I have.”

  “When?” Lindsey asked. “When was the last time you had sex?”

  “A long time ago. It didn’t work out.” She shrugged, not wanting to make it a big deal.