The Beast's Nanny Page 5

  She giggled. “You’re going to have to grate the rind, but don’t go too far down. You don’t want the bitterness underneath.”

  Grace found him the appropriate grater and watched him struggle. His jacket was soon removed and his sleeves were rolled up with all of those wonderful tattoos on full display. They looked amazing. She kept staring at them.

  Caleb put the lid onto the food processor, and James pressed the button. Once it was nice and crumbly, it was time for the juice.

  Watching the two work, Grace couldn’t stop laughing. It was just so endearing and she loved it.

  Eventually, after about two hours, they had enough for the pie crusts, and she put them in the fridge as James and Caleb made even more of a mess doing the dishes.

  With them busy, she grabbed the pecans and all the ingredients she’d need.

  “So, where did you learn how to cook?” Caleb asked, coming into the pantry, taking the basket from her that she was loading up with spices and cans of food. When James joined him, he kept handing him cans to take back to the kitchen.

  “My mom. She was one hell of a baker and believed good food could handle all ills. She was never wrong.”

  “I bet.”

  “She was … everything. You know? She could bake and cook. Nothing was ever too much for her. At Thanksgiving, we didn’t have a whole lot of family, but my parents would invite people around, and it would be this big event.”

  “Didn’t that suck?” he asked. “Having all of that family around?”

  “It wasn’t family. It was friends, and I don’t know. Mom always seemed to have a handle on everything. I guess it was second nature to her, which was awesome. Nothing ever fazed her. She always told me to wear your smile and to laugh at people who think they’re giving you a hard time. They’re not. Nothing in life can be all that difficult, and I guess, I believe her. It’s why I’m here now, you know, still working my way through.”

  She looked at the shelves.

  “Grace, I want you to be happy here,” he said.

  She returned her attention to him. “Why…” She pressed her lips together and shook her head.

  “Talk to me.”

  “I told you that I was going to agree to what you wanted. Why haven’t you …you know?”

  He chuckled. “Do you think I’m a beast enough to take advantage?”

  “I know what you want and—” Again, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. It was so wrong.

  “And what do I want?”

  “Don’t, Caleb.”

  “Grace, there’s no shame in what you want.” He reached out, stroking her cheek. “You can have whatever you want, whenever you want it. All you’ve got to do is ask.”

  “I don’t know what it is that I want.” She shook her head.

  Caleb put the basket down and placed a finger beneath her chin. “Don’t lie to me. You know what you want and I know what you want. There’s no room for lies here.” He looked into her eyes. “I’m fine with you avoiding everything, but don’t lie.”

  James came toward the door but rather than linger, he took another jar and left.

  “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with James wandering around. He shouldn’t be … here for that.”

  “Then tonight, you come to my room,” he said.

  This made her pause. “I don’t think—”

  He slammed his lips down on hers. “I don’t need you to think, Grace. All I need you to do is let go. Let go for me and I will give you the fucking world. I promise.” He brushed his lips against hers. “You have no idea how much I’d be willing to give for you.”

  Caleb let her go and grabbed the basket as James came back. Her lips tingled as she watched him leave.

  Her entire body was on fire and she wanted him to come back. Could she do it? Could she really go to his room tonight? The very thought made her nervous and excited at the same time.

  She glanced at her shoulder. She wasn’t healed, nowhere near close, but that didn’t stop people, did it? Maybe Caleb was used to people with gunshot wounds. The thought alone was a little too disturbing for her, and she tried not to think of it.

  Pushing all those thoughts to the back of her mind, she left the safety of the pantry and made her way out to find her boys waiting.

  Caleb was nowhere near a boy and with the way his arms were displayed, he was all man. As she looked at him, she wondered what it would be like to be held by him. He was so … all over.

  Tonight, she might lose her virginity, but rather than be scared, she looked ahead with anticipation.

  ****

  Baking should be put on the list of exercises. After rolling out balls and balls of dough for pie crusts, his arms had ached far more than from pumping iron or fighting. James was already in bed, fast asleep. The little guy had kept up with them all day as they made preparations. It was good to hear him laugh again, and he knew he had Grace to thank for that.

  They’d been able to take his mind completely away from the pain of losing his mother.

  Caleb stepped in the doorway of his en-suite bathroom into his bedroom and stopped. He clenched his hand into a fist as he rested it against the doorframe. Sickness swirled in his gut, but rage rushed to every single part of his body, ready to pour out. He needed to find the man responsible for taking her, for hurting Grace. He wasn’t an idiot. Whoever had killed his sister was the culprit behind his home being attacked.

  So far, the note left for him with the head hadn’t warranted any information. It had been completely combed through as if preserved, which only pissed him off more. The list of people he’d hurt over the years was endless. There was no way he could narrow it down.

  He wanted to hurt something, no, someone.

  A knock at his door caught him off guard and then he remembered Grace was supposed to be coming to him.

  There was no way he’d let her see him like this. She wasn’t the cause of his pain, nor responsible for taking his sister away. He would never allow her to see this kind of anger.

  Thrusting the pain deep inside, he got himself under control and stepped toward the door.

  She was a little earlier than he anticipated, and well, he had no problem with her seeing him in a towel.

  As he opened the door, her gaze went wide and she slapped a hand over her face. “You’re naked.”

  “I have a towel on.”

  “Can you, er, get dressed?”

  “I am dressed.”

  “Caleb, please?”

  “I don’t feel like it.” He reached out, taking hold of her hand and pulling it down. “Cute pajamas.” This pair had cute little bananas. If she was trying to go for completely unflattering, she’d failed. Clothes didn’t matter to him.

  The body beneath, that was what he wanted, one touch, and he knew those large tits, gorgeous ass, and juicy thighs were waiting to be touched.

  He pulled her into his room and closed the door.

  “I have this,” she said, lifting the walkie-talkie that showed the picture of James sleeping.

  Caleb nodded to the one beside his bed. “So do I.”

  “Why do you have one?”

  “He’s my nephew. Do you really think I’d let him out of my sight? There’s not a part of this house I don’t see.”

  She held her hand up. “Wait, are you saying you can see like in every single room?”

  Caleb pressed his lips together. Since when did he spill all of his secrets? Fuck!

  “Not in every single room, but I see enough to know if my men are going to betray me.” He stroked her cheek. “So you came to my room.”

  “You’re trying to distract me.”

  He rolled his eyes and turned his back on her, going toward his closet. “What do you want?”

  “Caleb, you called me to this room, but now I’m curious about what it is you see,” she said.

  He moved away from the closet. “How about you be really good and I’ll show you?”

  “I’m not a child.”
/>   He raised a brow.

  “Please, don’t treat me like one.” She lowered herself on the edge of the bed. “How old are you?” she asked.

  “Is my age really important?” he asked.

  “I want to know more about you. I want to know more about the man I’m going to be with.” She wouldn’t look at him.

  “Grace, this isn’t going to work if you can’t even look me in the eye.”

  She slowly lifted her head and looked at him. “I’m sorry. I’m new at all of this. I don’t know what to do. I always imagined meeting someone and having dates. Falling in love. I didn’t exactly expect to use my … as my way to freedom.” She averted her gaze.

  The nerves rolled off her in waves. She wasn’t shaking, but he saw the tension.

  “I’m forty,” he said. “I’ve never been married and I don’t believe in having girlfriends. I did trust myself with one woman, but she tried to blackmail me to get what she wanted. She thought I didn’t know she had a kid with another man; I did, and that didn’t work out.”

  “How is it possible you’ve met so many bad people?” she asked.

  “I grew up around them. My parents were not good people.”

  “You never told me about your parents.”

  He moved to sit beside her, hoping to put her at ease. He hadn’t put any clothes on, letting his ink-covered body be on full display. “They’re not exactly a highlight of my life, Grace. When you talk about your parents, I envy you.”

  “You do?”

  “I didn’t get the laughter or the fun at events. Most of the time, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, they came and went without us even knowing. There were no presents beneath the tree. Nothing. There was always the feel of his belt or fists. The slap from her.”

  She gasped and grabbed his hand. “You were abused?”

  “I guess that’s what they call it now. Back then, we were just unlucky. That’s all I saw.”

  “You never told anyone?”

  “Why would I tell anyone? It’s all that I knew.” He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I can’t claim to know what you want, Grace. I’ve never been in love. It’s an emotion that makes people weak. I don’t care easily.”

  “You must care. I see the way you are with James.”

  “I’m incapable of love.” He didn’t know why he was warning Grace of this. She’d gotten under his skin, but it wasn’t love. No, this was a need to take, to push her, to make her prove to him she was like everyone else in the world. At the same time, he didn’t want to.

  Taking her, fucking her, it didn’t prove that. No, pushing her to turn on him, that would be the catalyst that would rid him of this obsession he’d developed with her.

  Soon, she’d fail and when she did, he’d no longer be expecting anything from her.

  She’d have failed him. That was what he hoped and he’d be able to feel her tight cunt wrapped around his cock until she did.

  His head was messed up, he knew that. Years of being beaten had made sure that he trusted no one. Betrayal was second nature to everyone.

  All he had to do was wait. After all, he was a patient man, and he had yet to have a woman prove him wrong.

  “You’re not incapable of love, Caleb. I … I’m not going to fall in love with you.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I agree to what you want me to do.”

  “I want you to say it,” he said. His cock was already hardening. “Tell me what I want from you.”

  Her cheeks were a beautiful shade of red. He reached out and touched her, cupping her in his palm.

  “You know I’m not going to let you hide,” he said. “When you’re with me, I don’t want a sweet and innocent girl. I want a woman who’s desperate to know what it’s like to be fucked. To crave cock, my cock. Tell me what you want from me, baby.”

  “I want your cock,” she said. “I want you to fuck me and to teach me everything.” She pressed a kiss to his palm. “In return, I don’t want to fall in love with you. I want to use you exactly the same way you’re going to use me.”

  He looked at her, a little taken aback. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m young, Caleb, I get that, but I’m not an idiot. You expect me to disappoint you. I’m going to do that in the bedroom. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know what I want. Everything else, this isn’t an act. This is exactly who I am, and I can’t change that.” She reached out and touched his cheek.

  “You’re a broken beast, Caleb. I get that. It’s how you can cause so much death and destruction. People have failed you at every single turn. I’m not them. You’re going to hurt me. I know that, but I will never, ever fall in love with you.”

  Chapter Six

  Caleb had yet to call her back to his room, and Grace hadn’t gone to find him. She and James were in the kitchen on Thanksgiving to make their meal. The turkey was already in the oven. The potatoes boiling in the pan ready for her to take out and prepare for the roast potatoes.

  Her sous chefs were doing an amazing job as they finished up the stuffing. She made sure they tasted everything as they went, apart from anything they shouldn’t. Seeing Caleb in casual clothes was a little shocking. Jeans and a shirt, and he’d also donned an apron. Again, he filled it out and it looked natural on him.

  She didn’t dare laugh because he made it look sexy. How could a man look sexy cooking and cleaning in the kitchen? She didn’t get it. James also wore an apron, and he looked cute.

  To help mark the occasion, Caleb had given her a camera to take pictures. She’d insisted on it. This was something her mother always did. Each year, she was told it was a way of making traditions. She loved looking through the photograph albums even though they also brought a great deal of pain. She’d never get rid of them. They were her past.

  She forced Caleb to smile for the camera, and she even got a laugh out of him, which considering their situation, was odd to her. She’d been kidnapped, and here she was trying to keep him safe and happy. It was crazy, but that was the way she had always been.

  Always helpful.

  Her mother had once told her that people had an awful day without her help. The least she could do was give people the chance to leave her company with a smile. She intended to do exactly that, even this horrible man with the sexy body.

  When she put the camera down, Caleb captured her and pulled her in close.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I want a picture of you.”

  “Why?”

  “I just do. Smile at the camera as if you’re happy to be here.” He kissed her cheek and held up his cell phone. In the comfort of his arms, it wasn’t a hardship to be close to him or to enjoy it. She had nothing against him, apart from the whole kidnapping thing.

  Each day that passed, her need for freedom continued to fade. There were little parts of her life she missed. Going to the homeless shelter to volunteer or the kennel to help with the dogs. She loved to help. One day, she hoped to adopt all of the dogs, but that was a fairy tale that wouldn’t happen.

  Caleb took the picture and she stepped away, sticking out her tongue with a giggle. She went to the oven, opened it up, and tested the turkey to find that it was done. Caleb took it out for her, and she quickly placed foil over it to keep it nice and warm. There was so much cooking to do, and she loved every second of it.

  James kept bursting into carols. When he forgot the words, he’d mix up at least three into one song. It made her smile, and she was just so happy.

  With all of their hard work, she and Caleb got a table for his men set up, and she helped to lay out all of the food.

  “I hope there’s enough.”

  “There is going to be plenty here. I have a feeling my men are going to fall in love with you. There’s not going to be any leftovers.” He rested one hand on her shoulder, and the other went to the curve of her waist. She laid her hand over his.

  “I’m hungry,” James said, placing the final pecan pie on the counter
.

  She giggled. “Shall we?” she asked.

  Their meal was already set and as they entered the dining room, she didn’t like how big it was for the three of them.

  They sat around the table and she smiled. After taking a second to think of all that she was grateful for, she began to help serving.

  This was the first Thanksgiving where she actually felt part of a family.

  I’m so freaking odd. I consider my kidnapper family.

  She made sure James’s food was cut and sat back. Glancing over at Caleb, she waited with bated breath as he tried her food. She hadn’t cooked for him, and other than breakfast, she’d never seen him eat an evening meal.

  He closed his eyes and began to dig in with relish.

  Smiling, she ate her own food, feeling happier than she had in a long time.

  Don’t forget you’ve still got to have sex with him.

  Like it’s hard. Look at him.

  She kept her gaze on her food and James continued to make appreciative noises.

  “I think we need to keep your nanny, don’t you, James?” Caleb asked.

  “Keep her? You’re never leaving, are you?”

  Grace shot a glare at Caleb and offered James a smile. “I’m not leaving. Not yet.”

  “Don’t ever leave.” James climbed out of his chair and rushed toward her. For a three-year-old, he was so intuitive.

  “I won’t leave. I promise.” She kissed the top of his head. “Go and eat your food.”

  She promised herself she wouldn’t make a scene, but all she wanted to do was shout at Caleb for doing that.

  This wasn’t her family nor was it her life.

  They finished off their meal and pie in silence. Caleb wouldn’t let her do the dishes and before she and James went for his bath, she checked on the staff food. The moment she saw the empty plates, she was so happy. It wasn’t much, but it meant a great deal to her.

  “Come on, James. Let’s go and get you bathed.” With all of the excitement of cooking and eating, James had his bath and actually crawled into his bed without another word, or asking to be read to. She sat in his room, watching him sleep for a good ten minutes. Grabbing his monitor, she left the room.