Mafia Monster's Forced Bride Page 8
“It’s no secret that our worlds don’t get along. Liam is a rival. By my not … taking you on our wedding night, it is an insult.”
“So you’ve insulted him and me?” she asked.
He closed his eyes and took a step back. For this conversation, he needed to be in his right mind, and currently, being close to her, that wasn’t him being in his right mind. He was … thinking with his dick, and this hadn’t happened before.
Even with the other women in his life, before he got married. They never got under his skin. They never came before work.
“Yes and no. To many, I’ve insulted you, which wasn’t … the plan. I don’t know if you’re a virgin, and it means something to our culture.”
“Damn it, Roman. I am a virgin. I didn’t lie, and I certainly didn’t avoid the damn test to hide something.” She growled, and he watched as she tossed the book she’d been holding onto the bed. “You’ve been reading my journal.”
“I have.”
“Don’t you see that even with my father being very open and accepting, he has limits? He doesn’t want just anyone near his little girl. I … Millie is the closest person I have to a friend. He wouldn’t even let me adopt Stuart. The only reason he agreed to allow me to marry you is because he felt it was ideal for all of our futures, and apparently out of all of the men in the Greco empire or fucking cult, you were the best damn candidate.”
“You cuss when you get angry,” he said, and he found her rather cute.
She growled and spun away from him. “That’s not helping.” She tapped her foot on the carpet and shook her head. “I don’t want to cause death, but I also don’t want to be living my life like the past two months. I can’t do it. I miss being … me. I’m not someone who stays home all day, or shops, or … I don’t even know what the women in your family do.”
“They keep homes.”
“You have a cleaner for that.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
She rolled her eyes. “Have you ever thought about how badly we mesh?”
“Mesh?”
“We’re not suited. You’re used to your life, and I’m used to mine. I like going to college. Being free to do my own thing. If I want to spend the day in my mom’s sewing room, I can do it. I can be around Stuart and the orphanage. I don’t have to ask permission.”
He watched as she twisted the ring on her finger.
“I’ve seen the women you’ve been with. Your mistresses, the women you’ve slept with. I don’t look like them. I’m not … blonde, or beautiful, or slender. I’m not refined. We don’t mesh.”
Roman took a step toward her, then another.
Alex stepped back, then did so again, and again, until her back hit the wall, and she had nowhere to go.
Roman pressed his palms on either side of her head, keeping her in place and also making it so his body was close to hers. There was no escape, not unless she wanted to press her body flush against his.
She was trapped.
“What are you doing?”
“You keep talking about how we don’t fit, but have we ever given it a try? I know I haven’t given this a shot, but I’ve got to say, Alex, your lips are looking real fucking good right now.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to do.”
“You don’t want to cause a war or be responsible for death, and I don’t want that either. It has taken us a lifetime to be strong. We need Liam, and it embarrasses me to admit that. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep us free. To make our streets safe.”
He closed the distance, and Alex’s head was pressed against the wall. She seemed to try to escape through it.
“So how about we have a little … experiment?”
“Experiment?” she asked, frowning.
“Yes, how about we see how much we don’t mesh?”
“How?”
“Simple. We start with a kiss. Just some kissing, nothing too … heavy. My hands will stay on the walls. Just our lips will touch.”
“Why should I believe you?”
“I’ve never given you a reason to doubt me before.”
“And what does this experiment prove?” she asked.
At least she wasn’t hitting him and telling him to get the fuck out. “We’ll see how far our … meshing abilities go. If we enjoy the kiss, then we will give it time, and we will keep enjoying kissing. If it doesn’t, then we will come to some arrangement that means this marriage can survive.”
“I think this is ridiculous. We can just come to some arrangement where it can work. I agree with the latter.”
“And you want a marriage that is completely cold and dead?” he asked. He didn’t have a clue what Alex wanted, and this was a shot in the dark. There was a chance this could all backfire on him, but he was willing to take that chance. Mainly because he had orders, but also, a small slither of him wanted to taste those luscious lips.
He’d never noticed how plump and inviting they were, and if he had, then he hadn’t given it a thought of actually enjoying her.
“No, I don’t.”
“I’m not offering you love, Alex. I don’t think I’m capable of giving it. I don’t even know what it is.”
“I don’t want love, but I also don’t want … I don’t want to hate being near you. If being with you means we have to come to some sort of compromise, then yes, I will … do it. I’ll at least try it.” She smiled at him.
He didn’t know why being close to her made his dick ache. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said.
“Okay.”
There wasn’t much space between them, and he noticed how nervous Alex looked. “Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“So you’re not judging me too early.”
She smiled, but he waited until her eyes slid closed, and then he slammed his lips down on hers.
It was hard keeping his hands to himself, but he clenched them into fists where they rested on the wall.
One kiss, and he felt so fucking free.
Alex let out a little whimper, and her hands went to his chest. They didn’t move, just stayed perfectly poised on his body.
Tracing the curve of her lips, he heard her gasp and felt her open to him. He plundered her mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss. She hadn’t bitten him or pulled away, and he figured this was a success.
He’d never given much thought to kissing, but Alex’s lips were fucking stunning, and he found himself intoxicated with her lips.
Chapter Seven
Alex glanced across the dining room table. Last night, she kissed her husband, and this morning, he hadn’t been anywhere to be found. She hadn’t gone looking for him, and Millie had told her that Roman, Lucas, and Liam headed out early, so she spent the day sewing.
Tapping her fingers on her leg, she didn’t have a single thing to say to break the awkward silence.
Her father had come home and ordered her to go to dinner with Roman. This was a ruse. Liam wanted to see how far the threat went, and even though he hated using her as bait, she was the intended target of whoever was after her. She had been told time and time again that his men, as well as Greco’s men, were everywhere.
The restaurant was fancy, the kind designed for lovers.
Not for the first time, she licked her lips, and again, her mind flashed to the moment Roman kissed her. She didn’t understand why it was constantly playing a loop in her mind. It was just one kiss. The only kiss she’d ever experienced.
There would come a time when she would have more kisses to compare them to. Even as she thought that idea, she knew it was laughable. At twenty-one years old, Roman, her actual husband, was the first and only man to kiss her. It was pitiful.
She had to wonder if other women felt this way.
“How was your day?” she asked.
“You’re thinking about it,” Roman said.
“What?”
He smiled and leaned back in his chair. “You’re thinking about our kiss last
night.”
Her cheeks immediately felt way too hot. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“In the past five minutes, you’ve licked your lips five times, and each time you do, you look at me. You’re thinking about our kiss.”
“I could be licking my lips for any reason. You don’t have to be the cause.” She didn’t know why she tried to evade the question.
“And there you go again.”
“I wasn’t thinking of you that time.”
“So you just admitted that the other times, you were.” He smiled, and Alex didn’t know what to make of it. It seemed … genuine.
“Yes, okay, fine, I was thinking about …our time together. Is that so hard to believe?”
“I’ve thought about our kiss plenty of times.”
“I doubt that.”
He leaned forward, and before she could stop him, he’d captured both of her hands. “I’ve thought about how good your lips felt against mine. How I want to feel them all the fucking time. When I kiss you again, I’m going to hold you, feel you against me.”
“Who says there is going to be a next time?” she asked.
“We are because we’re going to make this work.”
“You want to make this work?”
“Yes.”
“Why don’t I believe you?” she asked.
He chuckled and clicked his fingers for the waiter to bring them the menus. When they first arrived at the table, he’d ordered wine. She had no choice but to quickly change her order to water. He’d tried to get her a sparkling water, but she hated that stuff and asked for still instead.
“Is it hard to imagine me wanting a nice marriage?” he asked.
“You didn’t want to be married to me.”
“True, but you didn’t want to be married to me either. Don’t forget that I read your diary, so I know all your little secrets.” He stopped long enough for the waiter to give them their menus. “How about I make a proposal?”
Alex looked up at him, not exactly sure what he meant.
“I don’t want to have a marriage that is … like all the ones I know. They’re filled with…” He stopped talking and looked past her shoulder.
“Loneliness. Pain. Deceit. Betrayal.”
“How do you know that?” he asked.
“No one talks to me. It doesn’t mean I don’t listen to what everyone else has to say.” She shrugged and glanced down at the menu.
“Is that the marriage you want?” he asked.
“You mean to hate my husband, to dread him coming home, to be afraid to even talk to him? Yeah, sounds like a real dream.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course, I don’t want that.” She shook her head. “Has anyone ever told you how annoying you can be?”
“I do get that from time to time,” he said, smiling.
“You look way too proud of yourself.”
“I didn’t think I’d enjoy this.” He pointed between them. “It’s fun.”
“I’m glad I somehow entertain you.”
“You truly do, and I can safely say it is a gift.”
She stared down at her menu, somewhat happy that she has been able to make him happy, which was crazy. Up until a few days ago, they never spent any time together, and when they did, whatever he had to say was critical.
“What do you want out of a marriage?” Roman asked.
“I honestly don’t know. I never thought I was going to get married, so I didn’t think I’d have to come up with an ideal part of it.” She sighed. “What about you?”
He held his hands up and started to tick his fingers. “I wanted a wife who was loyal. A good mother. Someone who doesn’t freak out at the sight of blood. Who can … handle this life.”
“Let me stop you there. I have no idea if I can handle this life.”
“You live with your father.”
“Only because I know what he does. I’ve not been … exposed to it.”
“I think you’re handling it a lot better than even you realize.” He went back to holding her hands, and Alex didn’t even realize she could have pulled them away from him.
“Why do you want this marriage to work so badly?” she asked. There had to be some other reason he was willing to keep this charade up, or to even contemplate making it work. It made no sense. She had given him an out. She hadn’t realized what that out would cost and the far-reaching consequences, but she had … tried. The thought of people dying just so she wouldn’t have to be married to him scared her. There was no way she’d be able to live with herself.
“The same reasons I want you to stay, Alex.”
She leaned forward. “I’ve heard the rumors about you, Roman. You kill easily.”
“I do what I’ve been trained to do, but that doesn’t mean I want to be responsible for the death of hundreds, if not thousands of people.”
“Thousands?” she asked.
“Do you think the only people who will get injured will be our men and yours?” he asked.
She held her hand up. “Stop it. I already said I wasn’t going to ask for an annulment or a divorce. I get it. If we separate, it’s bad news. Why all of a sudden do you want to … make this work?”
He shrugged. “I guess I came to the realization that I don’t want to hate coming home. I don’t want to look at you and see how disgusted you are with me. I’m not promising love. I can never love. I’m not capable of it, but I can be a good man to you.”
Alex frowned as she looked at him. Why? What? When? How? That was all that went through her mind. Part of her wanted to trust him, but another part of her, the realistic side of her brain, told her something else was going on. She’d been living with this man for two months, and they hadn’t been easy.
At times, he’d been a cruel asshole. Always critical. Always pushing her like he wanted her to go running back to her father. Something didn’t seem right, but she also didn’t want the picture he painted. All the unnecessary deaths as well as the life living with him that she hated. There was no reason to it. At least, she didn’t think so.
“Fine.”
“What do you want in a man, Alex?”
She lifted her gaze to look into his blue eyes. There had been a few times over the past couple of months when she had felt his eyes held pure evil, especially when he had nothing nice to say.
Tonight, they seemed soft, almost calm and beautiful.
“I-I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”
“Okay, what about marriage?”
She tried to tug her hand away, but he held on to her, making it impossible for her to let go. Forcing a smile to her lips, she glanced around the restaurant. “I’m not trying to be difficult, but I never imagined getting married.”
“You didn’t.”
“No. I never fantasized about my wedding dress, or what the big day would be, not even the guy I would be marrying. I guess I figured no man would be strong enough to get past my dad.”
“I am.”
“Not quite. We weren’t exactly a loved-up couple. This is a business arrangement. You wouldn’t have looked at me twice.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know to a certain extent, Roman. I’ve seen the women you’ve been with.” She didn’t like the thought of him being with the other women. Again, she tried to tug her hand away, but he wasn’t releasing her.
Gritting her teeth, she glared at him, but he merely tilted his head to the side as if they were only having a conversation.
“You’ve never met the women I’ve been with.”
“Two of them came to the wedding. I know because I overheard the women saying how ridiculous it made me look. Are you going to tell me that they weren’t there?”
He cleared his throat. “They weren’t supposed to be there. It’s why I had them escorted away as soon as possible.”
“You didn’t use them? You know, to make the wedding night sweeter?” she asked.
“Did you want me to fuck you on our wedding night?”
/>
“No.” She didn’t know why she’d brought up his mistresses or ex-girlfriends, or whatever they were called. “Will you please let go of my hands?”
“You’re angry.”
“I’m not angry.”
“Jealous?”
“I don’t have anything to be jealous about.” She had never felt jealous. Not a moment in her life.
Roman smiled.
“I don’t know why you’re smiling.”
“Simple, you’re jealous.”
“Whoever you sleep with is none of my business.”
“So, in your ideal marriage, you wouldn’t care if your husband was with other women.”
“Of course, I would. In a real marriage, I’d want love, and I’d love him. We don’t have that. We will never have that.”
“How about this then? Is there a chance you like me?” he asked.
“No.” She bit on her lip and glanced away as he tensed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know you.”
“But what you do know, you don’t like.”
“I don’t think we should be having this conversation,” she said. This was going from bad to worse. The menu lay open on the table in front of her. “Maybe we should just order.”
Roman didn’t let go of her hand, and even as she tried to avoid his gaze, he still stared at her. She looked around the room, trying to find an excuse to distract him, but she had no choice but to look at him, and he kept on staring at her.
His gaze was so intent.
What was he thinking?
What did he expect? They never spent any time together on the buildup to their wedding. From what people were gossiping about, he’d been with so many different women, and she was just the pitiful bought bride. The one he didn’t want, and that stung a little, which she hated to admit.
****
Alex didn’t like him, and Roman shouldn’t care.
Many people hated him and would pay good money to see him dead. He had never cared what people think of him. Why should he? It was their problem, not his.
When it came to Alex, his forced wife, he couldn’t help but … feel something. He didn’t know what it was exactly. Disappointment? Anger?
Was he angry at his father? At himself?
“Can we order?” Alex asked.