Bent, Not Broken Read online

  Bent, Not Broken

  Sam Crescent and Jenika Snow

  http://www.SamCrescent.wordpress.com

  [email protected]

  www.JenikaSnow.com

  [email protected]

  Published by Crescent Snow Publishing

  Copyright © February 2015 by Sam Crescent and Jenika Snow

  EPUB Edition

  First E-book Publication: February 2015

  Edited by Editing by Rebecca

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: The unauthorized reproduction, transmission, or distribution of any part of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  This literary work is fiction. Any name, places, characters, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or establishments is solely coincidental.

  Please respect the author and do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials that would violate the author’s rights.

  Pain is a lasting feeling, emotion, and can consume a person without any discrimination. Amy Holland knew all too well what pain did to someone. She has been living with it for far too long, and it is all because of her father.

  Reese “Joker” Whitman has put his old life behind him. He is now just Joker, part of The Soldiers of Wrath, an outlaw MC that rules his town. Despite the hard edge he carries around, the violence and destruction he’s been known to deliver, Joker wants Amy, the daughter of the woman his father married. Amy might be considered family, but she isn’t blood, and he wants her more than he’s ever wanted anyone in his life. However, he has to tread lightly, because she’s been hurt, and she may never be able to give herself fully to him.

  When she finally sees Joker for who he is, it isn’t fear or pain that consumes her; it is hope and desire. But can she give herself to the biker when she sees herself as too damaged be loved?

  Sam: To all the readers for making all of this possible. You’re amazing support always leaves me without words. You’re all wonderful. To Jenika for asking me to be part of this wonderful series, and to Rebecca for her patience while editing this book. The Crescent Snow Team without a doubt for asking for this book.

  Jenika: I’d like to dedicate this book to all the readers and their continued support. Without all of you none of this could be possible. Also, a huge thank you to the Crescent Snow Team. You guys are incredibly awesome, and I appreciate each and every one of you! And last but not least I’d like to thank Rebecca for all her hard work during the editing process.

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Blurb

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Connect with the Authors

  Excerpt from Owned by the Bastard

  You shouldn’t go down there, Amy. It’s dangerous and wrong.

  Even as Amy gave herself a warning, her sixteen-year-old body just wouldn’t stop, turn around, and go back the way she came. No, she kept walking toward the pleasured moans coming from her step-brother’s bedroom. This was dangerous, but she couldn’t stop. She wanted to see what was going on and at the same time, she didn’t want to know. The moans were self-explanatory.

  Licking her dry lips, she crossed her arms over her chest, wanting to find some comfort. Finding none, she stepped closer to his bedroom. Her mother and step-father had left to go out to dinner. She hadn’t really been paying attention. Her mother, Brenda, asked her not to bug Reese.

  She stepped closer to the door. He hadn’t locked the door and looking up from the carpet, Amy’s heart literally stopped. There was no turning back. Reese was completely naked, and she saw several of his many tattoos. None of them made sense as she stared at him across the room. He was four years older than she was, so much more mature than even that though. He’d not seen her yet. She couldn’t look at anything but him. His body was a work of art, rock hard, ripped, muscular; it was everything she’d read about in the romance books she kept hidden in a drawer. The past, and her horrors, reared their head, and she clenched her hands. She wouldn’t think about her father, about any of the things he had done to her, not during a time like this. She could never tell anyone. The pain of the past had to stay in the past where there was no escape. It was her and Daddy’s little secret. It had been until Amy had finally told her mother, finally shared the shame she lived with.

  Just thinking about her real father made her shudder.

  Cutting off the memory of him, she gazed at Reese’s body. The way he was stood before the bed, she got a clear side shot of his body. He was stood in direct sight of the door. When he turned to show his back, she saw the tattoos, then when he faced his prey, she got the length of his body. His cock was covered in a condom and stood out, slick. In the light of the room she saw he was covered in a woman’s cream. Her gaze moved to the bed. There, she was shocked. A woman was bound to the either side of the headboard and not just her hands and legs. Her tits were bound separately by rope. The binding was a little tight, and it gave them a red tint in contrast to the woman’s otherwise pale flesh. The woman’s mouth was open slightly and between her lips was a thick piece of rope.

  “What’s the matter, baby? Do you need to come? Do you need your Master to let you come?”

  Reese stroked his fingers up the inside of the woman’s thigh, going farther up until he landed on the lips of her pussy. Amy was rooted to the spot as he stroked from the woman’s cunt up to her clit. The woman tensed on the bed. Her screaming muffled by the rope in her mouth.

  “Bad girl.” Reese slapped her pussy and Amy couldn’t control the whimper that came from her lips.

  Before she could cover the sound, Reese tensed, looking toward the door.

  “Fuck, Amy.”

  She didn’t wait around. Turning on her heel, she ran from the room. Charging downstairs, Amy needed to find escape. There was no way she could face him. She ran out of the back door, rushing past the garden. Reese yelled for her to stop but she couldn’t stop. Escape was the only thing on her mind. She had to get away from Reese and what he was doing to that woman.

  And yourself. Don’t forget that, Amy. Run from yourself.

  Watching Reese’s control over the nameless woman had done something to her body that she didn’t understand or didn’t want to think about. From the first moment she’d met Reese there had been something about him that lured her in. When they were alone, she wanted to tell him all of her secrets, the same secrets she’d been forced to keep to herself. He’d never once judged her. Gripping the nearest tree, she dragged in a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against the rough bark.

  Breathe in, breathe out.

  Each inhalation and exhalation was hard for her to do.

  You’re useless. No one is ever going to want you. You’re broken, Amy. Broken and so alone. Who will want anyone who is soiled like you?

  She sobbed as her inner fears refused to be pushed aside. Tightening her grip on the tree, Amy broke down. She dug her fingers into the bark for support.

  That’s a good little girl. Just lie down and Daddy will take care of you.

  The echoes of the past were too close.<
br />
  “Amy,” Reese called out to her.

  Keeping her eyes closed, it took every ounce of strength she had to push the demons away. No one could help her. She was all alone.

  He pried her hands from around the tree. He held her tightly, stroking her hair. “I’ve got you, Amy. I’m not letting you go.”

  “You’ve got to,” she said. He didn’t know the truth about her. She was broken, ruined, soiled.

  Reese didn’t let her go. He held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. “You’re stronger than this. Push them back, Amy.”

  He’d always known she fought some demons yet he never asked her what they were. She broke down, sobbing against his chest. He had put on a shirt before he came for her.

  There was no rush or demand that she hurry up so that he could get back to the woman he wanted to be with. Slowly, little by little, she opened her eyes. His masculine scent surrounded her. Glancing up his chest, she stared into his eyes.

  “Where’s the woman?” she asked.

  “She’s gone.”

  There was no other explanation.

  “You didn’t have to get rid of her.”

  “Yes, I did, Amy.” He stroked her cheek. “She was never going to satisfy me. The whole idea was one big fucking illusion. I can’t have what I really want.”

  He ran his thumb across her bottom lip. Her nipples tightened at his words. She was afraid to ask him what he really wanted. There was no way she’d ever handle this man. There was already more to Reese than she’d ever imagine.

  Three months later

  The party was in full swing with bodies crushed together. Amy didn’t like the fact she had to brush against different people just to get to where she needed to go. She’d never liked tight confines, and this was certainly that.

  “Excuse me… thank you… yeah, sorry…” The apologies went on and on as she smiled at people. Her face hurt from being nice to people she didn’t know. This was a good-bye party for Reese. He was moving out of the family home and would be away from her for good. She hated the thought of him leaving completely but there was no keeping him in one place. Travel was in Reese’s blood.

  Passing the people on the stairs, she entered her bedroom, closing the door and flicking the lock behind her.

  Resting her head against the wood, she closed her eyes, seeing Reese naked like she had a few months ago. The woman that he had been with hadn’t stayed around that long, but the image of the two together was forever ingrained in her mind. It was a constant reminder of what she’d never be for Reese.

  Not that he’d ever want her.

  Damaged, broken, dirty, they were the words she used to describe herself. There was no getting away from what happened to her. Turning around, Amy cried out as she saw the man who was always on her thoughts sitting on the end of her bed.

  “Reese,” she said.

  “Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”

  “What are you doing here? This is your party.”

  She stayed by the door. The last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself and start begging him to stay.

  “Yeah, this is not really my crowd anymore.” He rubbed his palms together. “You’ve not been the same since that night.”

  She knew what night he was talking about. It was hard for her to look at him without thinking of him naked. The biggest problem in her mind was that she kept putting herself in the other woman’s position, and that terrified her.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “You’ve not been the same since saw me with Candy.”

  “Candy? Is that her real name?”

  Reese smirked. “It’s what I call her. Names are not important to me.”

  “They’re important to me.” She’d hate it if he forgot her name.

  “I’ll never forget who is most important to me, Amy.”

  Her heart raced as he stood up, walking toward her. Her mouth went dry as he pressed both palms on either side of her head, trapping her between the door and his hard body.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Nothing. I’d never hurt you, Amy. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you forgive me.”

  “I don’t need to forgive you, Reese. There’s nothing to forgive.” She licked her lips. His gaze went from her eyes to her lips.

  A groan escaped him.

  “Don’t do that,” he said.

  “Do what?”

  “That with your tongue and lips. There’s only so much control I’ve got and you’re too fucking young and innocent for the likes of me.”

  Amy snorted. Innocent was not a name she’d use to describe herself.

  “I don’t want to stop doing it.”

  “You’re playing with fire,” he said.

  In response, she licked her lips once more.

  It was a big mistake.

  Reese sank his fingers into her hair, tightening his grip as he tugged her close. In the same instant, his lips were on hers, ravishing her mouth. Gasping, Amy kept her hands by her side, not knowing what to do. The passion he was expressing, took her breath away.

  “Open for me,” he muttered the words against her lips.

  She opened her mouth, and he took full advantage, plundering his tongue within. Moaning, she fisted her hands at her sides, not sure what to do with them. Her body was awakening under his touch.

  He groaned. His free hand gripped her ass, drawing her close to him.

  “I’ve tried to be good around you. I’ve tried to be the big brother, but I can’t stop these feelings. You’re like a drug, Amy. A dangerous drug. Touch me, angel. Please, I need your hands on me.”

  Opening her hands out flat, she placed them on his chest.

  The pleasured sounds coming from him increased and he spun her around, moving her back toward the bed. Reese had her wrists tightly clasped in his hand, holding them to his chest, and keeping her immobile. She felt safe with Reese, felt that he would be the only one that could bring her back from the brink of madness and self-destruction. He’d never hurt her, she knew that, but she also knew that she wasn’t normal and could never give him what he wanted.

  Everything faded into the background as the past merged with the present. When Amy opened her eyes, it wasn’t Reese she saw but her father. Panic, fear, disgust, and shame rushed over her and she couldn’t stop the scream that bubbled up.

  Pulling at her arms, she fought him, refusing to do what he wanted. It was too much for her.

  “Please, stop. Please, stop. I’ll be good. I’ve always been so good.”

  She begged and pleaded with the ghost that had stolen her childhood, her innocence. He wasn’t a ghost. Her father was out there, living his life.

  Fighting, Amy did everything she could to get away.

  “Let me go.”

  “Amy!”

  Her name was shouted, but it wasn’t her father who said it, it was Reese.

  Opening her eyes, she found Reese holding her tightly in his arms. He wasn’t forcing her to submit to him. Reese held her tightly in the cocoon of his arms. His heat and warmth surrounded her with love and care.

  “I’ve got you, sweetheart, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll always protect you. I’m sorry I lost control.”

  The tears that blurred her vision finally fell, sliding out of her eyes, down her cheeks, and onto his arms.

  Nothing was ever going to be the same for her. She loved Reese with all of her heart and soul. His passionate kiss would stay with her forever as would his touch, but her demons would overshadow everything.

  There was no way she’d ever be able to live her life to the fullest. She was broken from the inside out. There was no future for her. Amy knew she’d be doomed to live her life in misery.

  Holding her demons close in Reese’s arms, she fell asleep to troubled dreams. When she woke up the following morning, she discovered from her mother that Reese had gone.

  He’d not even said goodbye to her.

  Five years later

  Amy wa
s lost in thought, her mind replaying the images of her mother lying in that casket, her lifeless body so cold and ashen. God, she was going to cry right here at work, in front of everyone, because she couldn’t control her emotions all these months later. Leaning back in her chair, she stared at the other members of her team that worked in the office with her. At twenty-one she had her own life, a good job she had landed right out of college, a home of her own, and a step-father that she thought of as her dad. And then those thoughts led to ones of her piece of shit father, the one that had done so much damage to her that she couldn’t even function sometimes all these years later.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  Amy glanced up from her keyboard and stared at Michael, one of her co-workers at Frances and Son’s, a realty firm. He had a stack of papers in his hand, a concerned look on his face, and she felt like a fool for not being able to control herself and her emotions.

  “I’m fine, thanks.” She smiled, but it was totally forced. He nodded once and went back to work. She stared at her computer, started working again on entering data, and told herself that she needed to move on from this. The years of therapy she’d undergone had helped somewhat, but the darkness she had inside of her would never really go away. She’d need to find her own path, find a light that would have everything illuminated so she was afraid of it anymore. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus on something other than the shit that always brought her down.

  That, of course, was easier said than done.

  “Tell me how you’re feeling today, Amy.”

  She stared at her therapist, a man who had been helping her for the past three years. She started seeing Gregory when the nightmares had become too much for her. The night sweats, crying out in the middle of the night, and the overall stress that from holding her emotions in had burst forth. The therapy sessions helped to a point, but now that her mother was gone, she was slipping back into this darkness that she hated.

  “I’m feeling fine today.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the complete truth. She stared at Gregory, watched as he jotted down his notes, and looked at her hands. She twisted her fingers together, knew that she’d have to be honest with him if she was going to make any progress.