Damaged Queen Read online

  She was out cold, and as he approached, he saw her back was red, covered in the welts. He’d broken the skin.

  He hadn’t intended to cut her flesh, but just one look at her and thinking about Buck and Jett, he’d lost control and fucking hurt her.

  “Are you satisfied now?” Axel asked. “Have you had your pound of flesh?”

  “You want to criticize what I’ve done? We planned this. You and me. Her punishment. This is what she deserves.”

  “How did she know about the gunman?” Axel asked.

  Draven stopped, staring at his friend. “She’s gotten to you.”

  “What if … she’s right? Alan couldn’t stand for her to be part of us. It’s still pretty fucking suspicious that she’d go to him. You said so yourself, she hated Alan’s guts. Why go to him? We were all too brokenhearted to see it.”

  “She couldn’t handle what we dished out. She should have come to us, but she didn’t. Buck and Jett are dead because of her.”

  “She didn’t pull the trigger, and she knew about it, Draven. She knew what happened, and if she was gone, how did she know unless what she said is true? Your father had connections, and even to this day you don’t know every single one of them. Don’t you think it’s a little too neat with how this has ended up?”

  “For fuck’s sake, you’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  “You want to break her that’s fine. Be prepared for what you’re causing. Once you break her, there is no going back. There is no Harper. She’ll be long gone.”

  “Your point being?”

  “I hope you can handle that. You’re my concern, Draven.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Seriously, what are you getting at?” He was done playing these games. It was fucking cold, and he really needed to get Harper out of the cold. He wanted her to hurt but not die.

  “You were in love with her all those years ago, and you really think that is just going to disappear? That a love like that fades?”

  “I’m not pussy-whipped anymore, Axel. I got over it.”

  “You did? Then why did you opt for the whipping post? I thought you were going to have your guys use her. Let them wreck her pussy and ass just like the whore she was. You came here and let them hurt her instead.”

  Draven stormed over to Axel, raising his fist, and his friend laughed.

  “I see right through you. I always have. I saw how much you cared for her years ago. It’s why I didn’t fight you. For you, it has always been Harper. Here she is. She can belong to you. If you’re going to ruin her, be ready to lose her forever.”

  He watched as Axel walked away, and he watched him go without saying a word.

  Alone, near the whipping post with Harper, he was lost to his thoughts.

  She didn’t deserve to be tied up.

  Gritting his teeth, he helped her down, taking her weight as he lifted her up. He’d have to take care of her back. A couple of lashes had split her skin.

  She deserved this.

  He knew deep down into his soul, she had to have this.

  But if he truly believed it, why was his gut twisting at what he allowed to happen?

  Chapter Eight

  Harper gasped as she woke up. Her body ached, and the pain in her back was intense.

  “You’re awake.”

  She turned toward the sound, and as she squinted, she groaned. Hannah, her lovely stepmother, sat in a seat beside the bed.

  “Have I died?”

  “No, not even close. Draven left you too long on the whipping post. The cold, the shock, and you got an infection. It can happen. You’ve been out cold for a couple of days.”

  “So why are you here with me?” she asked.

  “Because, Draven thought it would be good for us,” Hannah said.

  Harper watched as she leaned forward and began to pour out some water. There was a straw.

  “Here, drink.”

  She took a sip of the water and groaned, pulling away once she had enough.

  “Why would it be good for us?” Harper asked. “I imagine if anyone was going to be worth me talking to, it would be my dad.”

  “Your father has never been on the whipping post. I was shocked to learn it was still here and that it was also currently in use.”

  Harper hadn’t forgotten what had happened, and it made her shake a little knowing Draven and his cronies had done that to her. She turned her head away in shame. Had she allowed that to happen? What did that make her?

  Pain and fear and everything from anger to rage consumed her.

  “I know what you’re feeling.”

  “You were on the whipping post?” Harper asked.

  She felt the bed dip, and Hannah had moved a little closer to her. Age hadn’t done well for her, and she’d lost that chipper, happy look.

  “Is being married to my dad what made you so miserable? Sorry, I’ve got no filter at the moment.” Harper saw her flinch.

  “Life in Stonewall has never been … a blessing. For the most part it has been hell. Your dad, he makes life … bearable.”

  “Bearable? Do you love him?” Harper asked.

  “I love your father in my own way.”

  Harper snorted. “My mother died because of you.”

  She saw shame cross Hannah’s face. It was so fleeting that at first she thought she had made it up.

  “I never wanted to get between the two of them. I never wanted to get married. Choices are made for women like me.”

  “What? Women like you? You’re not making sense.”

  “I never had a good life, Harper. I never had a mother or father that cared. I was one more mouth to feed. A body to clothe. Money that wasn’t worth it. I know this is not making sense, but if you just hold on and let me speak, it will all make some kind of sense in a way. You’ll understand.”

  Harper stayed silent and waited for Hannah to speak.

  “My parents were poor. So poor and greedy that when a man came by on my sixteenth birthday and looked me over as if I was cattle, I was sold. I still remember the last day of school, flirting with the guys. Loving the attention they lavished on me. I was a hottie, and I knew it. They knew it. I loved the control I had. That was all taken away from me. I was stripped of my name, of the poor clothes I had. They gave me a single rag shirt. I wasn’t allowed real clothes for a time. It was more of a sack that had been sewn in the right places to make it look like a shirt. In the winter it was so cold, and there were so many kids, younger and some older, and we’d bundle up together to try and get warm. We were like a pack. We all knew what was going to happen. We were all going to be sold. We watched it happen. Men and women would come in, look at us, pick us out, and we’d leave, never to be seen again. I got picked quickly, as much to their shock, I was still a virgin. I was sold to Draven’s dad. He took my virginity before I turned seventeen. After he had his fill, I was his property to be owned and dealt with. I was to fuck every single person he demanded in order to earn my keep.”

  Harper didn’t like this story.

  “I was a good worker as well. I knew how to keep men and women happy. I hated pain, and so any beating I got, I learned not to do whatever had caused the beating again. It was easy as well. That’s all I had to do. Keep on working. Keep my head down. Screw hard, fuck harder, and love the job I did.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because one day I had another job. The job to distract a married man. To get him to leave his wife and kid. At first, I refused. I didn’t want to get married, and Alan told me that’s what I was going to do. I was to become a trophy wife. I didn’t get a beating. I was dragged up to that post and whipped until I passed out. I wasn’t let down from that post. I was whipped daily, starved, and when I finally relented, that was when the beatings stopped. I was fed, clothed, and given back who I was once was. Hannah.”

  Tears filled Harper’s eyes as she thought about all that Hannah had been through. “You had to make my dad fall in love with you.”

 
“Yes. Alan wanted someone to report back to him on Ian. Your father was important to him with all that he knew. He got what he wanted, but Alan always did. Catherine was gone, and Ian was in his place, doing his job. I know some of the pain you’re going through. Being on that post, it kills a part of you inside, and I guess that is why Draven had me come and sit with you.”

  “To ease his conscience.”

  “And to also stop the risk of you hurting yourself like your mother.”

  Harper tried not to think of her mother, Catherine.

  “Can you help me leave?” Harper asked. She was done with this, done with all of this. She wanted to leave, to go back to her life.

  Not back to Ethan but away from Stonewall.

  “I can’t help you with that.”

  “Didn’t you ever think of running away?”

  “You come to realize that it doesn’t matter where you run to. You’ll always be looking over your shoulder to see who is following you. It’s why I never leave. It’s easier to work with them.”

  “I want to kill them all,” Harper said.

  Hannah touched her head, tucking some hair behind her ear. “I know.”

  “Did you ever get payback?”

  “No.”

  “How do you feel about that?” Harper asked. “Aren’t you angry?”

  “Always. I’m angry that I never fought, but I’m alive today. I’ve got a loving husband, a daughter, and I’m happy.”

  “Please go away,” Harper said. “I know you mean well, but it doesn’t stop you from being the woman that caused my mother to kill herself. I’m sorry for what happened to you, but we’re never going to be friends or have a relationship. Please, leave.”

  “I’ll go and get Draven.”

  “No!”

  She was already going, and Harper couldn’t sit up. She couldn’t roll over or do anything.

  She was trapped, and she fucking hated it. Screaming into the pillow, she moved toward the drawer and looked inside for anything.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Draven said, slamming the drawer closed before she could pull anything out from inside.

  Not that she knew what she was looking for.

  “Leave me alone.”

  “I’m not leaving you to do anything. You’re going to end up killing yourself,” Draven said.

  Ignoring the pain, she dropped to the floor. She would try to leave. Getting to her feet, she stared at him. Her legs were like jelly, and she glared at him, aware of how naked she was.

  “I want to leave.”

  “You’re not leaving.”

  She lunged at him. Using her nails, she wanted to claw his eyes out, to make him howl in pain.

  He overpowered her. Draven held her hands away from him, and she growled, hating how weak she felt, knowing how easy it was for him to control her.

  “I hate you,” she said.

  “I hate you too.”

  “Let me go. You’re a fucking monster.”

  He pushed her to the bed, and she screamed. Tears filled her eyes, and he cursed.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You whipped me!” She yelled the words in his face, finding the strength to fight back. “You got them to whip me. What happened to you?”

  He didn’t answer.

  Draven stood up, and she got to her feet. Glancing behind her, she saw the bed had red streaks.

  “They had started to heal. Lie back down. I’ll apply more ointment on your back.”

  “Fuck you.” She sniffled.

  Walking away from him, she looked in the mirror. Just as she started to look, Draven stood in front of her.

  “I want to see the damage you’ve done.”

  He did no more than slam his fist against the glass. She didn’t get a chance to see as the glass shattered, shards of glass falling to the carpet.

  “Real mature.”

  “Now you can’t see.”

  “There’s more than one mirror in the house. You can’t hide it from me for much longer.”

  “Just lie on the bed and let me take care of you.”

  She wanted to argue, but seeing no point in doing so, she got on the bed and lay down.

  Draven moved toward her, and she turned her head away from him.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  She gritted her teeth, refusing to give him even an inch. She wanted him dead. She wanted to be the one to kill him, to murder him and for him to know what true pain and anger really felt like.

  “I’m going away for a few days. I’ve got business to deal with. Hannah and Ian are going to stop by and keep an eye on you.”

  “I don’t want them here.”

  “You don’t have a choice. I’m not allowing you out of my sight. The guards know you’re not allowed to leave. Your father would like to see you. He’s worried.”

  She finally turned to look at him then. “Are you worried in case I take my own life? You think I’m like my mother?”

  Draven’s jaw clenched. He didn’t say anything, but she saw it. He was concerned, and now he was trying to combat it.

  Releasing a breath, she looked away, hating him.

  Counting to ten, she refused to even allow herself to like his touch, to like anything he did for her.

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  Four.

  Five.

  Six.

  Seven.

  Eight.

  Nine.

  Ten.

  So easy to do. She kept on doing it inside her head as tears leaked out of her eyes.

  Once he was done, he sat down beside her.

  “Please leave.”

  “I know you’re hurting.”

  “Have you been strung to a whipping post?” she asked. “Have you been punished with a beating?”

  “Yes. As a boy my father liked to mete out his own kind of punishments to make sure he wasn’t dealing with pussies. As you can imagine, that wasn’t easy to live with.”

  She turned to look at him, hoping he saw the anger that she felt.

  “And now you’re dishing it out to a woman you blame for your friends’ deaths. I had nothing to do with Buck or Jett. I tried to stop it.”

  “When are you going to stop with all the lies?” he asked.

  “When are you going to get your head out of your ass and realize your father is the one that lied? Not me. I was the innocent one in all of this. The only reason I left was to make sure you were all safe.”

  Draven got up, and she growled in frustration.

  “Just like a man. You can’t handle the truth so what you do is run away. Well, run, Draven. Go ahead, pretend that I’m the one that lies instead of your father, instead of everyone who lied to you. I’m the only one that told you the truth through everything. You know that, and you couldn’t handle that.”

  Draven hadn’t left, and she stared at him, hoping just once that he’d see she wasn’t lying. That she wasn’t running from him. She’d never run from him.

  “Hannah and Ian will be here.”

  He left without another look, and she collapsed against the bed, sobbing. She let out all of her tears.

  She didn’t know how long he was going to be gone for. All she hoped was that when he was gone, she got stronger so when he got back, she fought him at every single turn.

  ****

  “You should be resting. Not out here, staring off into space at nothing,” Axel said.

  Harper looked up at Axel.

  She’d not seen him since her whipping, and seeing as now her back was healed, it had been some time. Hannah had told her she’d been out of it for seven days, plus another four with Draven gone.

  “You’ve been gone a long time,” she said. “You find any evidence you need?”

  “No, not yet. I’ve not had a chance to look.”

  “How come?” she asked, sipping at her coffee.

  “You’re not worried that I’m going to hurt you?”

  “If
you were going to do it, you’d have done it already. I’ll worry when you come at me with a gun. Besides, I know I’m not lying.” She shrugged.

  “Are you missing Draven?”

  “No.” She spoke a little too fast.

  “Are you plotting his demise?”

  “Do you have a toolshed?”

  “I’m not going to tell you that,” Axel said. “I’ve been out of the country. We’ve got some Italian contacts, and Draven wanted me to go and check on some … potential family business.”

  “Are you married?” Harper asked.

  “No. You know I’m not.” He held up his hand as if that was all the explanation she needed.

  “Just because you’re not wearing a ring, it doesn’t mean anything, not in this day and age.”

  “I’m not married, Harper. What about you? Missing Ethan?”

  Harper stopped. She hadn’t thought about Ethan, not really. Not even in the past couple of days after the whipping.

  “Did you love him?”

  “I didn’t love Ethan,” she said. “I cared about him.”

  “If you didn’t love him why were you going to marry him?”

  She snorted. “Please, as if you care about love.”

  “I may not believe in it, Harper, but there was a time I was sure I saw it, and knew of its existence. I also know you wouldn’t marry anyone unless you loved them, so it makes me wonder, why?”

  “I … let it all happen with Ethan. We met, and it was kind of like moving. You have to keep walking, keep moving because if you stop and allow yourself to think you realize all that you’ve lost, all that you’ve missed, and it doesn’t help you. It only breaks you apart even more.”

  “You’re broken?”

  “A little, yes. I’m broken. I’m damaged. I allowed Alan to hurt me all those years ago, and now I’m paying the price.”

  “I don’t want to talk about that,” Axel said.

  “You haven’t found anything, and you’re not here to kill me.”

  “I’m not going to kill you until I’m sure I’ve looked everywhere. You know, Draven thought a lot about killing you.”

  “Wow, you don’t want to talk about Alan’s lies, but you’re more than happy to talk about Draven’s desire to kill me. Good talk.”

  “He was completely in love with you, and I know it broke him thinking you’d left.”