Taken by a Monster Read online

  “It clearly is, otherwise, you wouldn’t be.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “No, it’s not.” He sighed. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, then it’s all lies.”

  “What’s all lies?”

  “The way they’re being. The only person you were ever really close to was Bishop.” He wasn’t about to tell her about Milly. There was no reason for her to remember a woman who wanted to destroy her. “You were rarely at the clubhouse, but this is your home. I want you to feel like you’ve got more than Bear and me.”

  The door unlocked and she pulled it open. “It’s not just me then?”

  “No. They’re my club. They’re doing what I asked them to and that is to help you feel part of us again.”

  “I really appreciate it but it’s a little much. I … I thought I didn’t remember them. That I messed up.”

  He reached out, taking hold of her hands and pulling her close. “You don’t have the power to mess up.”

  “Did they know we were together?” she asked.

  “No. You were gone before we had a chance to announce it. Would you like to go out there, let them know who you belong to?”

  She shook her head. “No. I think I’d like to go to bed. I feel really tired.”

  “Would you like me to join you?”

  “Only if you’re not busy? You know, this is your club. Do you have club stuff to do?”

  “Nah, nothing is more important to me than you. Come on, I’ll take you upstairs.”

  “We’re not going home?”

  “This is your home.” He kissed her head. It didn’t matter how many times he told her though, she would always feel like an outsider until she remembered. There were times he didn’t know if he really wanted her to remember. Some of those memories were not ones he wanted her to have. Especially the one where she lost the baby as even now, it plagued him.

  Without another word, he led her toward the staircase, taking her up to his room. As they passed Bishop’s room, she paused.

  He hadn’t gotten around to giving the order for the room to be cleaned out so all of Bishop’s things were still inside.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I guess I just … this room?”

  “It’s Bishop’s. Would you like to go inside?” he asked.

  “No, not tonight. I’m really tired. I’m sorry. You must think I’m being a huge drama queen.”

  “Not at all.” He kissed her head. He didn’t want her to feel worried or fearful. There were moments she would stop and look at something and he had to wonder if her mind was fighting to be free. If the Robin of two years ago was there beneath the surface, just waiting for the right trigger to come out.

  Randall said it didn’t always work like that. Robin could remain this way for the rest of her life.

  Preacher loved her, but he also knew in his heart, something was missing. They had each shared a pain that only he remembered right now. If given the choice, he knew she would want to know what happened.

  For now, he had to constantly wait, accept her for who she was now.

  They entered his room and she paused. Her hand left his as she looked into his room.

  “I just got a bit of a chill.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, of course. I’m fine. Can I take a shower?”

  He wasn’t about to tell her she had one before they left the house. He’d noticed she enjoyed taking long showers of late.

  “Sure, go ahead.”

  He sat on the edge of his bed, removing his boots as she left to go into the shower. After running fingers through his hair, he shoved his jeans down his thighs and was about to remove his shirt when his cell phone rang.

  His cell didn’t recognize the number but seeing as he had a great deal of contacts running around, he accepted the call. “Preacher,” he said.

  “So, tell me, Preacher, what’s it like fucking a woman with another man’s name on her back? Have you taken her from behind yet?” Reaper asked.

  Preacher gripped his cell phone tighter in his fist, anger and rage mingling together, dancing within him. “You know it’s easier to call someone when it’s safe for you.”

  “You think I’m doing this for me to be safe?” Reaper laughed. “You don’t know me at all.”

  “Oh, I know a coward when I see one, believe me. I know what kind of game and bullshit you’re playing, but it’s not going to wash with me. Come out, let’s end this bullshit now.”

  “And why the fuck would I even dream of doing that?” he asked. “It will be so much fun messing with your head. How about this? Have you asked her about her time with me yet?”

  “You know she doesn’t remember anything.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Now you have to ask yourself this, Preacher, what are you going to do when she does remember?”

  “I’m going to give her all the help she needs to deal with what you did to her.”

  Reaper laughed even harder and louder. “You really do assume the worst of me, don’t you?”

  “I know the kind of monster you are.”

  “And you’re claiming not to be one?” Reaper asked.

  “I know who you are because I’m exactly the same. There’s no difference between the two of us.”

  “Ah, so pleased you agree with me. Preacher, you’re so determined to think she ran from me. What will you do when you find out she was running to me?”

  Before Preacher could ask him anymore, he hung up.

  Reaper was messing with his head and he couldn’t allow him to get there. Whatever happened between Reaper and Robin, it was in the past.

  Pulling his shirt over his head, he entered his small en-suite bathroom. He’d made the decision early into acquiring this land and building to have his own bathroom. There was no way he was going to be sharing bathrooms with his men.

  He had certain … standards.

  Robin stood beneath the spray, her head bowed.

  Opening the stall, he climbed inside.

  She gasped, turning around. “Preacher.”

  He didn’t say anything. Cupping the back of her neck, he pulled her close and slammed his lips down on hers. He felt her naked body pressed against his.

  The ink on her back meant nothing. Whatever bullshit Reaper was trying to do, he wouldn’t win. This woman was his.

  She wrapped her arms around him, and he slid his hand down her back, cupping her ass, drawing her close. He wouldn’t allow Reaper to get into his head, not now. Robin was with him, in his arms, and he wasn’t going to allow anyone to take her from him.

  “I love you, Robin.”

  She pulled away from him, but he wouldn’t let her put too much distance.

  “You love me?”

  “Yes. I will never stop looking for you. I love you more than anything in the world. I never got a chance to tell you before, but I need you to know now. You own me. Body, heart, mind, and soul. I belong to you, forever, for all eternity.”

  He saw her eyes were red and he didn’t know if that was from his confession or from her crying before.

  “I don’t expect you to tell me you feel the same. There’s a lot you need to work out and to know. I get it, but know this. I love you more than anything in the world. You are my life and I will be with you always.”

  “I … I think I love you as well.”

  He took possession of her lips. The old Robin loved him. The new Robin would as well. He would show her.

  Pushing her up against the shower, he lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around him, moaning his name. He teased her pussy, finding her already wet but not wet enough for him. Sliding his fingers through her wet slit, he stroked inside her, adding a second then a third finger, spreading her wide.

  “Do you like that?” he asked.

  “Yes, please. Don’t stop.”

  “Seeing you all this time and not being able to have you, do you know how much it tortured me?”

&
nbsp; “Please,” she said.

  He knew she didn’t understand the feelings he had. They were currently not the same. Not even by a long shot. She only knew what she felt for him, and for now, he had to work with that, hoping the old Robin would remember.

  Preacher continued to stroke her pussy, watching her slowly come apart. Seeing the pleasure in her eyes as she gave herself to him. This was how it was supposed to be between them.

  He loved her more than anything in the world. He’d die for her. There was no woman he’d ever cared so much about, but Robin, she was different. She’d gotten beneath his skin and there was no way he could get rid of her. He never wanted to. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

  She came, screaming his name, and even as the last remnants of her orgasm consumed her body, he stopped, gripping his cock, placing the tip against her entrance, and slowly pushing into her pulsing cunt.

  He felt her continue to orgasm as he started to rock inside her.

  Robin held on to him tighter and he gripped her ass, pushing inside, wishing and hoping for her to remember as he continued to fuck her, taking her harder than ever before.

  Staring into her eyes, he felt her deep into his soul. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for this woman. She owned him, and all he had to do was be patient for her to come back to him. It didn’t matter that he didn’t want her to remember everything. She had to remember everything, even if he didn’t want her to.

  When she came a second time, he held off his own release, watching her, waiting for the moment of truth to consume her.

  Nothing happened. Nothing changed.

  He spilled his release inside her, holding her close. “Fuck, I love you,” he said.

  She let out a little giggle. “I love you as well.”

  She kissed his neck, but deep down, Preacher knew it wasn’t enough. Robin still belonged to him. She was still all his, but there was a part of her missing, and until he found that part, he would never be free.

  Not ever.

  ****

  The following morning, Robin left Preacher alone in bed. She pulled on a pair of jeans and one of his old shirts and went in search of the kitchen.

  She had this overwhelming need for pancakes and coffee.

  Closing the door, she made her way downstairs only to come to a stop outside of Bishop’s room. There was something about the door and the feeling twisting in her gut that made her want to go through the door.

  She stepped close but stopped, rubbing at her temple. The pressure intensified.

  Would she remember anything if she went through there?

  She put her hand on the door, about to press forward, but she held back. Her stomach growled and anything important like this had to be done on a full stomach. She didn’t know if that was true, but at this time, she didn’t care. She walked to the kitchen only to find her father already there.

  A steaming cup of coffee was in front of him on the table but he had his head in his hands, looking all stressed.

  “Rough night?” she asked.

  “You could say that.” He didn’t look up and she walked over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup.

  It was strange to her to know how she liked her coffee and even what kind of food she preferred, but nothing else from her life.

  The connections she’d made.

  Strange.

  With her coffee black and one sugar, she went to the table, taking a seat beside her dad. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “Did you drink a whole lot?”

  “I didn’t touch a drop.”

  “Oh. Do you have a problem?”

  “I thought I did, which is why I went through a quick program but no, I don’t. I just don’t want to drink. It’s complicated.”

  “Okay. It’s not like I don’t understand complicated. I mean, look at me. I remember how I take my coffee but I don’t remember my mom or Bishop. Getting married or being pregnant. There’s a lot of complications in my life.”

  Bear sighed. “I’m not trying to keep you out or exclude you.”

  “I know. I get it, Dad. You’ve got … your reasons and I respect them.” She reached out, taking his hand. “I just wanted you to know that I do understand.”

  “I drank when you were gone to numb the guilt I felt.”

  “Why did you feel guilty?”

  “I didn’t know a lot about what was happening in your life. You never got to tell me about Preacher and yourself. I had to hear about it after. I know you were sad about the loss of your baby but … again, I didn’t know how much you wanted to be pregnant. I spent so much time wrapped up in my own shit, I didn’t give a fuck about what was going on outside, and I should have.”

  “You can’t hold yourself responsible for every little detail that goes on in my life.”

  He laughed. “Forgive me, sweetheart, for saying this, but you don’t know what the hell went on.”

  “I know but I’m here now.”

  “You’re only partly here. You’re not completely here.” Bear held her hand even tighter. This time, he tried to comfort her. “You think I don’t see how nervous being here makes you? This is your home. You didn’t spend a lot of time here growing up and if you did, you were always in Bishop’s room, but you were safe here, for the most part. Fuck, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”

  “You’re trying to say that even though she belongs here and is safe, she doesn’t know it. She’s part of our life again, but the old Robin, she’s not sitting here drinking her coffee with one sugar. She’s gone,” Preacher said.

  She turned toward the door to find Preacher leaning against it. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just a pair of jeans.

  “Watching you drool over my president is gross,” Bear said.

  She couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

  Preacher flexed his arm, showing off his muscles.

  Bear made a gagging sound while Robin admired the man she’d left in bed.

  “You should have woken me,” Preacher said, coming toward her. He kissed the top of her head, and she closed her eyes, leaning back and basking in his love and touch.

  “I was only coming down for some coffee. It’s all good, I promise.”

  “Don’t worry, Preach, I’ve been keeping my daughter company, telling her about all the things that are wrong with me.”

  “That’s what I worry about.”

  She smiled. Sipping at her coffee, she didn’t mind the heat as it slid down her throat.

  “So, what’s happening today?” she asked.

  “You want some pancakes?” Preacher asked.

  “I’d love some.”

  “I’ll take some with chocolate chips and syrup,” Bear said. “Damn, I haven’t had your cooking in so long. You need to bring my daughter around more often.”

  “Yeah, because that is so not weird,” she said.

  “It’s not. Believe me,” Bear said.

  She finished her coffee, getting up to pour herself a second cup as Bear excused himself to go to the bathroom. When they were alone, Preacher pulled her close. He stopped mixing up the batter to talk to her. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “I don’t like you leaving me alone in bed.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I promise. I was just coming down to have a drink. That’s all.”

  He tilted her head back. “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah, of course. Why would I lie?” she asked.

  “I … I want to make sure you’re feeling okay. If you’re ever worried or sad, I need you to tell me. To talk to me.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  “Did you go into Bishop’s room?” he asked.

  “That’s a subject change. No, I didn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. What does it matter?”

  “Because I’m curious about, you know, you, everything. All of it.” He stroked her cheek. “I know you and B
ishop were close once. I don’t know what could trigger your memory.”

  She thought about what her father had said. “Does it bother you?”

  “Does what bother me?”

  “Me not having my memory back. Do you wish I was the old Robin? Does it bother you that I don’t remember us, the baby, anything?”

  He sighed but didn’t answer right away. It scared her a little.

  What if he really loved the old Robin and she could never remember the past? Would he hate her? Would he want her to change?

  There were so many questions and fears rushing through her, she didn’t know who to trust.

  “Don’t freak out.”

  “I’m not freaking out.”

  He raised a brow. “I can tell you are.”

  “Okay, a little, but you tell me you wouldn’t freak out a little in my situation. I’m struggling. There’s a part of me I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ever going to remember anything and it scares me, a lot. It freaks me out.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t say anything.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “No, it’s not.” She blew out a breath. “I honestly don’t know how to feel right now.”

  “I love you, Robin. Yes, at times, I wish you could remember me. I know there’s a lot we’ve been through together but then I think about the two years you were gone from my life. I don’t know if they were good or bad years, and if they were bad, I don’t think I want you to remember them. They were part of your life, but I don’t know how you’re going to react to them. I’m going to be by your side, regardless. If you remember, great, if not, I’m just pleased to have you in my world. I didn’t stop looking for you, and I will never stop looking. You’re my life, my love, and I vow to protect you.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “Does this mean once the annulment comes in you’re going to make an honest woman out of my daughter?” Bear asked, coming back in.

  She groaned. “Seriously?”

  “Yes,” Preacher said, startling her. “I’ll make an honest woman out of her.”

  As far as marriage proposals went, she didn’t have any comparison, and she found it rather sweet.