I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2) Read online

  Rubbing his eyes, Tonio tried to clear the memory from his head. It was a fucked up moment between them, and he hated it.

  Maria had been selfish, and that memory was of the last time they had spoken in private. She had been married two months later. He couldn’t help but wonder if she ever regretted not taking his offer. Tonio would have worked hard for her. He loved her, and still did love her.

  God, he was fucked.

  He was in love with a selfish bitch who was prepared to marry someone she hated just so she didn’t have to work for a living.

  Tonio wasn’t watching where he was going, and as he dropped his hand from his eyes, he knocked into someone, who gave a little cry.

  Glancing down he saw first the blonde hair, which was so long. She pushed it out of her face, and he frowned as he looked down at her. Tonio recognized her, but he couldn’t be sure where.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said.

  “Why are you sorry?”

  “I was in your way.” She scrambled to her feet, holding her hands out in front of her.

  “I walked into you.”

  “Yeah, but I was standing here.” She bent down picking up some flowers.

  “I know you,” he said.

  “We, erm, we went to school together.”

  “We did?”

  She gave a nervous chuckle. “Yeah. You sat behind me in biology and physics.”

  Shit! This was the girl he used to copy from.

  “I remember.”

  “Zara Summers,” she said, holding out her hand.

  “Tonio.”

  “I know.”

  He shook her head, aware of how soft her hands were, and compared to his, how small.

  “Are you visiting someone?” he asked.

  “My dad.”

  “You’re meeting your dad here?”

  “No.” She pointed at the gravestone. “He had a heart attack about three years ago. He didn’t make it, so every Sunday, I come here, and I leave flowers. You?”

  “A girl who I loved.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, well, they don’t always love you back.”

  She frowned. “I don’t know what to say to that. Was she from our year?”

  “No. She was older than us by a couple of years. Married too.”

  “It does get easier as time goes. I don’t know if anyone has ever told you that.”

  “Yeah. I’ve been told that.”

  “I know it’s as clichéd as it comes, but it does. You’ll move on, and everything will be okay.”

  Tonio wasn’t about to dispute her. She was only trying to help. “What are you doing now? Are you at college?”

  He saw the disappointment flicker in her gaze.

  “No, I’m not at college.”

  “Why not? You were smart.”

  “You didn’t even remember me a few seconds ago. How would you even know if I was smart?”

  “I cheated on the tests, and I always got an A for it. Figured you were smart.”

  She smirked. “I always knew you were copying. Well, I wasn’t always sure, I had a hunch you were.”

  Tonio laughed, and it was the first time he actually felt like doing it.

  “Can I buy you a coffee?” he asked.

  Zara stared down at her flowers. “Coffee?”

  “Yeah, why not? It might help the both of us get over this awful feeling.”

  “I’d like that. I’ll just put these down.”

  “I’ll stand back and let you have your moment.” He stood back, and watched as she placed the flowers on the grave. She spoke quietly, but he was close enough to hear her.

  “Hey, Dad. I can’t stay too long today. Mom needs me back at the shop to help her with the cooking. I’m taking care of her, just like you asked me to. It’s not the same without you. They haven’t closed us down yet though. I’m working hard, and trying to make sure we don’t go under. Love you, Dad.” She pressed her fingers, and placed them against the stone before turning back to him. “I’m ready.”

  Walking side by side, Tonio glanced back to see Luiz watching him. He, Luiz, Donnie, and Jake had all been friends a long time. They knew when to take a step back, and when to step forward. This was the time for Luiz to stay back.

  They left the graveyard together.

  Great, Tonio. You’re now picking girls up from the graveyard.

  “So what are you doing nowadays?” she asked.

  “Not much.”

  “Do you still hang out with your friends?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I heard Paige and Donnie got married. They were a nice couple.”

  “How did you know?”

  “School, rumors, and the paper. Their wedding was announced, along with a lot of other things.”

  Tonio was aware of the rumors that surrounded the four of them. “Do you listen to rumors?”

  “Not all the time, but Paige and Donnie were kind of hard to ignore. They were not quiet about their relationship.”

  He chuckled. It was the first time he’d actually enjoyed going to school, just to watch the shock on their faces.

  ****

  Zara walked beside Tonio Guzman, and her heart was pounding. She couldn’t believe that she was about to have coffee with Tonio, one of the men from her school who was rumored to be part of the mafia. Over the years she tried to ignore all the rumors, but it was hard, considering there was always a cloud of anger and violence hanging over them.

  She had seen their violence firsthand, and she had walked away.

  None of them knew that she had seen them beating the crap out of some guy. At first she was going to go to the cops, but when she heard that the guy they were beating on had raped a couple of girls, she hadn’t cared.

  She’d been scared to say anything.

  “You’re quiet,” he said.

  “There’s not a lot to say.”

  “Are you scared?”

  “What? No, of course not.” Complete and total lie. She was terrified of him.

  And now you’re going for coffee.

  He took hold of her hand and placed it through his arm. “It’s cold out today.”

  “It should be warming up soon. That’s what I’ve heard. I don’t know if it will actually do that, but we’ll see.” She was rambling again.

  Tonio stopped in a coffee shop that looked quite cute and quaint.

  She was surprised as he held a seat out for her, and she took it, unbuttoning her jacket as it was warm inside the shop.

  “What would you like?” he asked.

  “I’ll take a coffee and a cinnamon bun. I can pay.”

  He placed a hand on her shoulder. “My treat.”

  Nodding, she licked her lips, and watched as he walked over to be served.

  Tonio was a large man, like the rest of his friends. She had noticed him in high school, as every girl had.

  They were not in high school now, and he looked meaner, harder, fiercer than she remembered. He wore a suit, and she saw the way the arms of the jacket looked stretched over his arms.

  Seconds later he came back, taking a seat. “Our drinks will be over shortly.”

  Tucking her hair behind her ear, she promised herself to get it cut. It was an unruly mess, which annoyed her all the time.

  “So what do you do?” They both asked the same question.

  “I work at our family’s pizza shop,” she said.

  “Pizza shop?”

  “My father was from Italy, and his father before him, I think. Anyway, we have a pizza shop downtown, and I work there. I bake the pizzas, work in the shop, gather supplies, stuff like that.” It was hard work, and tiring.

  She loved to cook and to bake, but she hadn’t wanted to spend her life in a pizza shop. Her father dying of a heart attack had changed her life, and what she was supposed to do. No college, no future, just pizza.

  There was a time she’d loved pizza, but now she couldn’t stand it. The taste made her sick, and the scent mad
e her hate it. She kept on working because she knew her father would be proud of her.

  “Your turn?”

  “I work at the family casino, and sometimes as a bouncer.”

  “At nineteen, that’s a lot of responsibility.” She was afraid to ask about the rumors.

  “I grew up fast.”

  Licking her lips, she gasped as the waitress placed their coffees and buns in front of them.

  “I don’t recall seeing you much around school,” he said.

  She smiled. “I wasn’t exactly the kind of girl you paid attention to.”

  “Kind of girl?”

  Zara wasn’t beautiful. She was plain. No one paid attention to her. It was why guys like Tonio copied from her work without even knowing her name. She didn’t mind. Zara had accepted that she wasn’t pretty.

  “You know, pretty. Startling to look at in a sexy kind of way.”

  He took a sip of his coffee, while she bit into her cinnamon bun. “You’ve got a very low opinion of me.”

  “I don’t know you. I just remember the girls you were always with.”

  “Ah, the school sluts.”

  She choked on her bun and had to take a quick sip of her own coffee to help swallow it down. “Wow, that’s what you call the girls you sleep with?” She didn’t expect him to be charming, but that was just plain rude.

  This was why she never tried to get to know the guys.

  Drinking her coffee, she wondered what the protocol was to leave someone. Tonio wasn’t a nice person.

  “The way I see it, women are divided,” Tonio said.

  Wow, he’s really going to try to make excuses for his horrid behavior.

  “Divided?”

  “Yeah. There are women that you fuck, and then there are women that you take home, and are the mother of your children.”

  Her mouth had to be hanging open. She was totally blown away, and shocked. “Wow!” Glancing at the table, she saw that there was still half a cinnamon bun left on the table. “Erm, I think I should go.”

  “Wait, why?”

  She frowned, seeing the total confusion staring back at her. Didn’t he have a clue about how insulting he was being?

  “I can’t believe you just said all of that stuff.”

  “Look, I’m blunt. This is the kind of guy I am. I have no interest in offending you.”

  “You’re not trying to make me uncomfortable?”

  “No.”

  Sitting back, Zara frowned as she stared at him. “You’re strange, you know that?”

  “Strange? I can handle strange.”

  She chuckled. “This is good coffee.”

  “So, you’re working in a pizza place that you hate, and I’m working with my best friends.”

  “Do you hate it?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “Your work, do you hate it? You don’t exactly sound thrilled about your work.”

  “I guess I’m not really excited about it, but it’s the work I was destined for.” He gave a little shrug. “We all have fucking crosses to bear, don’t we?”

  Folding her arms, Zara stared at him, wondering what his game was. “So, the girl you were seeing, who was she?”

  “Do you remember Luiz?”

  She nodded. Yep, Luiz, Tonio, Donnie, and Jake, four deadly friends.

  “It was his sister. She was the love of my life, or at least, I thought she was.”

  Zara frowned. “Maria?” She remembered her now. “Didn’t she get married to someone?”

  “Yep, some fucker who didn’t deserve her.”

  He took a large swallow of his hot coffee, and she winced. That had to have burned.

  “Can I ask for a do-over?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  “The name is Tonio Guzman. I’m an asshole, but most of the time, I’m just trying to survive.” He held out his hand, and she stared at it.

  “You do realize I haven’t got a clue what is going on.”

  “Introduce yourself. We can start over.”

  Gripping his hand, she gave it a shake. “Zara Summers. I work in a pizza shop, I’m bored with life, and I’m not in college.”

  “You’re bored with life?”

  “I cook pizza for a living. That’s all. No dates, nothing.” The debt her father left behind meant she didn’t have much choice with her life. Her life was no longer her own. She was owned by the debt, so she worked in an effort to rid herself of it.

  There were times she found herself hating her father. Instead of selling up the business, he kept on borrowing money, and not all of those people he took money from were kosher.

  So far, the threats hadn’t come, but Zara knew it was only a matter of time. Lucien wasn’t a man to be messed with. He’d taken complete advantage of her parents, and now she’d been brought into it.

  “I don’t date either. I just fuck.”

  “I don’t do that either.” Why the hell was she being honest with this guy? She snorted. “I can’t believe I just said that to you.”

  Tonio chuckled. “It makes it interesting when we break our own rules, doesn’t it?”

  “You’re a strange man, you know that, right?” she asked.

  “I live a strange life. You know the rumors about me.”

  She tensed.

  “See, I see the way you react. What I find interesting is the fact you’re still here. You’re terrified of me, and yet you’re drinking coffee, talking with me as if we’re BFFs.”

  “You knew that?” she asked, referring to her fear.

  “I’ve spent a lot of my life feeding off of people’s fear. I can see it all the time.” He finished off his cinnamon bun, licking his thumb of the icing as he did. “Delicious.”

  “Do you get off on it?” she asked.

  He paused, tilting his head to the side, contemplating her question. “Sometimes. It’s easy to scare people.”

  “So the mafia rumor, is that true?”

  Tonio pressed a finger to his lips. “That can be our little secret. You shouldn’t be shouting that shit around.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re very strange. You know that?” She repeated her words for the third time.

  Chapter Two

  What the fuck was he doing?

  Tonio stared across the table at Zara, and yes, he remembered her, but not for any flattering reasons. She was the plain girl that he copied from. Not once had he ever considered her anything more than that.

  He’d just been at Maria’s graveside, and now he was sat staring across at the same girl he hadn’t given a thought to.

  She looked … different.

  Staring at her, Tonio recognized the weight of the world that was resting on her shoulders. With her hair falling around her looking a little wild, she actually looked beautiful. Her blue eyes were so innocent, yet they looked scared. Tonio was used to people being scared.

  “I’ve been called a lot of things in my life. Strange isn’t one of them.”

  “It should be. Are you going to kill me now?”

  “No. I’m not going to kill you.”

  “You do know the whole mafia thing is not that big of a secret.” She licked her fingers of the last of the icing.

  “It’s not? I thought it was only just a rumor.” He winked at her, sitting back.

  For the first time in his life, he was actually relaxed. The little home movies were still out there, but he didn’t want to go on a hunt to find them. He was more than happy just talking to Zara, the girl who helped run a pizza shop.

  “That was delicious. Thank you.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  She glanced down at her watch, and he noticed her hands were shaking a little bit. He didn’t like that. Zara was a normal girl. She shouldn’t be afraid of anything.

  “I’ve got to be heading back,” she said. “I’m really sorry for cutting this short.”

  “Do you mean that?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Yeah, I am actually. You’re terrifying
, but this was nice.”

  He chuckled. “Come on. I’ll walk you home.”

  They left the little coffee shop, and he placed a hand at her back, guiding her out of it.

  “I live at the pizza place. Just above the shop.”

  “Wow, no wonder you hate pizza.”

  “It’s my life.”

  Tonio pushed his hands into his jacket, at the same time feeling the gun he kept strapped to him at all times. This was how he was able to walk the streets without a guard. Ever since he’d taken out the fathers of The Family, he’d put a target on his back, but he refused to have guards.

  All he needed to do was find those damn tapes.

  They walked in comfortable silence for several minutes. He didn’t know if Zara was comfortable, but he sure was.

  “This is me,” she said, stopping suddenly. He looked at the pizza place that had seen many better days.

  This was it. They were about to part ways, and he just couldn’t have that.

  “What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked.

  “I’m working here.”

  “When do you finish?”

  She winced. “We close around eleven, and we clean up ‘til twelve.”

  “Is that at night?”

  “Yep, we open every day at four.”

  Fucking hell!

  She was going to work herself to the bone.

  “We did use to be open during the day, but I can’t allow food to go to waste that doesn’t get ordered.”

  “Zara, is that you?” An older woman leaned out of the window. She didn’t look like time had done her well.

  “Yeah, Mom, it’s me.”

  He hated how dejected she sounded. Zara clearly wasn’t happy. Why was her mother making her do this?

  “How about another night?” he asked.

  “I really wish I could. I’m needed here though.”

  Tonio nodded. “Maybe some other time.” He made to step away, but she stalled him.

  “You could always come and stop by for pizza. I hate it, but I do make it well.”

  He turned, smiling at her. “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

  She held her hand up, giving him a little wave. “Bye, Tonio. It will start to feel better soon.”

  “You too.”

  Tonio watched as she entered the pizza shop before making his way toward the graveyard. He was shocked to see Luiz hanging out by his car.