Butch Read online

  Pushing his finger and thumb against his eyes, he fought the pain the memories gave him. All the time he kept them locked in a box. Not one of his brothers knew the truth about his past. Neal Coal was dead along with his family, and all of them had died long ago, and he wasn’t ever going to be returning to that life. Becca had told him to forget, and he had to a point.

  Unlike his brothers Butch’s enemies remained in the past with no hope of ever returning. Over the years, even without his father or the Savage Brothers, he’d trained to fight and learned to take a beating. To earn money, he entered into illegal fights. He was a fierce fighter and made sure he would come out the winner or die fucking trying. The only way for him to live in this world was to leave his enemies six feet fucking under. He couldn’t avenge what happened to him as a young boy, but he could make sure all of his present enemies were dead. Entering the back of the coffee shop he set back to work, cleaning dishes from the cakes they made in the shop. No one approached him, which he liked. If anyone was to even say a word to him, he’d go fucking crazy. They talked amongst themselves.

  The moment the box opened in his mind and the old memories started to work through, he lost it. Becca had told him to keep everything locked up inside. There was no need to go out and seek the truth. He believed and trusted her.

  “Butch.”

  He turned at his name to see the manager, Langnor, staring at him.

  “What’s up?”

  “Tiny and Alex are out there to see you. They’ve asked for a minute of your time.”

  He cursed, staring up at the ceiling. The last thing he needed with the memories slowly coming back was the two men looking over his shoulder trying to bring him back into the fold. What made it worse was the respect he had for Tiny and Alex. Both men were worth his loyalty to the club. He’d never turn his back on them, not for anyone.

  Think about Cheryl.

  Cheryl Barnes and her sweet boy were the only good things to happen to him since The Skulls. The danger the club faced was not something he wanted to bring to her. Butch wanted a chance with her, a real chance to have a family of his own.

  Wiping his hands on the towel, he threw the towel on the counter then headed into the main coffee room. Alex and Tiny were sitting in the far corner in a private booth. Ignoring all the gawping and stares, he took a seat opposite them. Both men were sitting on one side. Butch just knew a confrontation was about to happen.

  “You’re working in a coffee shop?” Tiny asked, grimacing. “Your talent is fucking amazing at cars and in the club, and you’re serving fucking coffee. This is sad. You didn’t go through all that shit to become a fucking dishwasher.” Tiny shook his head, clearly angered by what was going on.

  Butch stared at his president without saying a word. He would listen to whatever the men had to say before returning to work. This was the life he wanted now. None of them knew the true danger that they faced. Butch had lived through it once, and he wasn’t doing it again.

  “He doesn’t care, Tiny. Leave him alone.” Alex leaned forward. “We want you to come back.”

  “No. I’m not coming back.”

  “We need you. Devil’s got something going on, and we’re all going to be in danger if we don’t band together.”

  Holding his hand up, Butch shook his head. “I’m not going to argue with you. I’m not coming back. I’m out. I’ve got an appointment with a tattooist, and he’s going to black out my club markings. You’ve got all my leather cuts. I’m done, and I’m out. I don’t need to know any more shit.”

  “You’re being an asshole,” Tiny said.

  “Who is causing a problem?” Butch asked.

  Tiny stayed silent as Alex leaned forward, linking his fingers together in front of him. “A man known as Frederick Gonzalez. He’s ruffled Devil’s feathers, and when I asked Ned Walker, Eva’s father has told us to stay clear of the bastard. Frederick is not a man to be trifled with.”

  Whistling, Butch looked out of the window thinking about Cheryl. Something tingled in his mind about the name. He couldn’t grasp the memory, but he saw a boy leaning over him when he got shot. No, it couldn’t be related. There was no way it could. His past was dead. This wasn’t his problem anymore. Cheryl was his problem. The club used to be his life, and he’d been out of it for a month and already there was a new enemy.

  “I’m not coming back. I’ve got a life.”

  “Is a cunt really worth this?” Alex asked.

  Fisting his hands, he glared at the other man. “Yeah, she is.”

  “I don’t have a clue who this woman is, but she must have one golden pussy to keep you away from us all.”

  “She’s not keeping me away. I’m choosing to be away.” Butch stood up. He was finished with this conversation. They could turn up trying to bring him back, but he wasn’t going to let anything happen. He was in love with Cheryl Barnes, and he wouldn’t do anything to mess that up. “Coffee is on me.” None of them had touched the cups in front of them. He made his way to the back of the shop and refused to let anyone disrupt him from his own thoughts.

  He was making the right decision. Danger, when it came to the club, always ended in violence. The last few years had proven that.

  ****

  Cheryl finished wrapping up the bouquet of red roses for Nash. He handed her a card to write up the payment. She didn’t speak to him other than to offer advice on the kind of flowers his wife would want. Nash was one of only a few men who came to the store to buy flowers. She loved making the bouquets they requested. Some of the men had amazing taste when it came to color.

  “Lash says you’re the best, and I have to say, Sophia is going to love me for these,” he said.

  She smiled, handing him back a receipt and his card. “I hope she likes them.” Seconds later he left the shop without a word about Butch. One month ago she’d woken up at two in the morning to find Butch waiting on her doorstep. For the first time since she’d met him, he hadn’t been wearing a leather jacket with The Skulls logo on. She hadn’t recognized him at first until she saw his green eyes. There was no way she’d ever forget those green eyes. From the moment she first met him in the church those eyes had plagued her. Living in Fort Wills for the last ten years hadn’t given her any clue as to who all the members of the local MC club were. She didn’t pay much attention to all the men. Her thoughts were preoccupied elsewhere.

  When the door was closed behind Nash she went back to finishing up her summer display with bright, vibrant colors. Her thoughts returned to Butch like they always did when she was alone. The first week he quit The Skulls he’d spent the nights on her sofa, against her mother’s advice. After that week he found a place of his own, but he kept coming around to see her. She didn’t know what he wanted. There were times she truly thought he was going to kiss her, and then at others, he seemed more a friend than a potential boyfriend. She was going crazy thinking about him.

  Ever since Matthew’s father left without getting in touch with her, she’d not been with any other man. No one knew who fathered her child, and she was going to keep it that way. He was an older man who’d used her for a weekend of fun. The first time she’d gone about experimenting had been the biggest mistake she’d ever made.

  Glancing down at her watch she saw it was past five and she needed to get home. She didn’t volunteer at the church tonight. Matthew got all of her attention, which she was thankful for. There were times she really didn’t feel she had enough time with him. Her son was three years old and going to be starting school very soon. She wanted to get him to spell his own name before he got there.

  Her mother helped with his care throughout the day while Cheryl was working. Tying her hair behind her head she started to lock up the shop. She wondered what her mother had been doing with Matthew as she exited the shop. Turning toward the road she jumped. Butch sat on his motorcycle waiting for her.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he said.

  “Butch, you scared me.” She pressed a hand to her chest.<
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  “I thought I’d give you a lift home.”

  “What do you want out of it?” she asked, dubious about the lift.

  He laughed. The sound went straight to her pussy, making her melt. She tensed at the sudden assault of pleasure. He was the first man since Matthew’s father to turn her on. She’d been a virgin, and one weekend of pleasure had changed that for the rest of her life. Coming away she’d no longer been a virgin but also pregnant. She learned her lesson about giving into pleasure. For now, she kept Butch at arms’ length, even though she wanted him more every time she saw him.

  “I was thinking dinner and a movie.” Butch held up a DVD. Seeing the romantic comedy in his hands, Cheryl laughed.

  “You’re willing to watch a film you’ve criticized so that I can cook you dinner?” She stepped closer inhaling his musky male scent. In all of her life the smell of sweat and male had never been quite so addictive.

  “Your food is worth it.”

  She chuckled, feeling his infectious laughter get to her. “Okay, I’ll cook you dinner, but you’re totally doing the dishes.”

  He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. “We’ll see.”

  Shaking her head, she caught the helmet he tossed her way.

  “Put it on. I don’t want anything happening to your pretty face.”

  Cheryl did as he asked, putting the helmet on then climbing on the back of his bike. He grabbed her hands, forcing her to wrap them around his waist. The strength in his stomach alone surprised her. She couldn’t believe she was holding onto Butch. Every time she got close to him, she felt alive inside.

  The heat pooled and started to get warmer at the feel of his back between her thighs.

  Get a grip, Cheryl. Nothing is ever going to happen.

  Butch in her life was a mistake. She didn’t know why he enjoyed hanging out with her. He knew she had a son and wasn’t seeing anyone, and yet he was still there to see her. She wasn’t used to the male attention coming from the men in her town. Nibbling her lip, she tried to block all thoughts of Matthew’s father from her mind. One weekend of hot sex didn’t make for anything else. She’d spent more time with Butch than with Matthew’s father.

  Without her asking Butch pulled up outside of her mother’s place. “I’ll be here waiting for you.”

  “Matthew is not getting on that bike no matter how much he wants to. I won’t be allowing him to ride when he’s older either. They’re death traps.” At three years old Matthew was completely stubborn and irrational. She loved him with all of her heart, but he sure knew how to cause a few problems by just being adorable.

  “Of course he’s not. I’m going to walk beside you the last bit to your place. You don’t mind my bike being stored in your yard, do you?” Butch asked.

  “No, it’s fine.” She gave up caring what people thought of her when she turned up pregnant without the father present.

  Walking to her mother’s front door, she knocked and heard her humming as she walked down the long corridor.

  “Hey, honey,” Anna Barnes said, opening the door. Her mother’s gaze went to Butch before returning back to her. “What’s he doing here?”

  “He’s a friend, Mom. Please, drop it. I don’t need to worry about you as well.” She walked past her mother going straight to the sitting room where Matthew was sitting with some coloring books and crayons. “Hey, baby.” She crouched down, tucking some strands of hair behind her ear.

  “Mommy!”

  The coloring book and crayons went sprawling to the floor as he jumped up, wrapping his arms around her neck. She picked him up inhaling his sweet scent before turning to her own mother.

  “Everything is fine. He’s just a friend. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “He wants something from you, honey. I see it every time he’s around. He wants you, and he’s going to claim you,” Anna said.

  Rolling her eyes, Cheryl focused on her parent even though pleasure poured through every cell in her body. Butch wanted her? It was too much of a fantasy to be real. He was a handsome man who could have any woman he wanted. Why would he settle for her when he could have anyone?

  “You’re imagining things. We’re friends, nothing more. I’m going to take him home. I’m not at work tomorrow, so everything should be fine for me to look after Matthew all day.” She blew a raspberry on his cheek. Matthew chuckled, wrapping his pudgy hands around her neck. She loved her son. To her, it didn’t matter who the father was. He’d given her a bigger reason for living. Her son meant the world to her. The only thing she wished was different was her bank balance. If she had more money, then Matthew would want for nothing.

  Ten minutes later she carried Matthew’s bag out of her mother’s house and was walking beside Butch to her own.

  “She doesn’t approve of me, does she?” Butch asked.

  “My mom? No, she doesn’t know you. Don’t take it personally. She’s had to deal with a lot. You know, her only daughter turning up pregnant without a father for her child being one. It can take a lot out of any person. She’s been there for me, my rock.”

  “Your own father is not in the picture?”

  “Nah, he left a long time ago. He couldn’t live up to her high expectations, and he split.” Cheryl shrugged. She’d never missed her dad growing up. Her mother was all she needed. Anna Barnes made sure she wanted for nothing, like she was going to with Matthew.

  “You don’t miss him?”

  “Can’t miss what you never had. I never had a father. My mom is all I need. She’s my rock, and I love her. At a young age she taught me you didn’t need a man to depend on in life. I doubt she ever expected me to come home pregnant.” She smiled thinking about her life over the years. Her mother never turned her away even when she turned up pregnant without a husband. Pushing some hair off her face, she kissed Matthew’s cheek. He was the reason she loved her life. The same reason she went back to church to thank God for giving her such a blessing. No matter what kind of weekend he came from, Matthew was worth every second.

  “Hey, Matty,” Butch said, reaching over to rustle the boy’s head.

  “Hey, Neal.”

  Her heart turned over. Butch accepted his real name out of her son’s lips rather than his club name. She’d known him as Butch and couldn’t imagine calling him as anything else.

  “He’s a good kid. You should be proud.”

  Cheryl smiled. Whenever anyone complimented her son she felt all the pain of giving birth to him was worth it. “I am.”

  She carried him to her front door. Putting Matthew down, she searched for her key while Butch put his bike away. Cheryl settled her son in front of the television before heading toward the kitchen. The moment Butch entered he stayed by her son. She heard him talking, laughing and joking with Matthew. His voice filled her with joy along with the happiness from her son. Matthew always ended up giggling in his company. Butch was really great with kids, or at least he was great with hers.

  Twenty minutes later she had the pasta cooking and the meatballs frying in the pan.

  “Hey, baby, do you need a hand?”

  Butch placed a hand on her hip invading her space. For several seconds she couldn’t even think because of his touch. Licking her dry lips, she glanced to her left and smiled. “No, I’ve got it.”

  “Okay. Matthew has an amazing imagination.” Butch stepped away, going back to sit with her son.

  No, don’t start thinking about Butch that way. The last time you did look what happened.

  Matthew’s father was long gone and not coming back.

  Chapter Two

  “You’re not my dad,” Matthew said. Butch looked down at the little guy, and his heart went out to him. He looked saddened by his own words.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “I wish you were.”

  Butch rolled over to look at him. Out of all the kids he knew, Matthew was sure the smartest. Thinking about his age made him think about the club’s latest additions. It wou
ldn’t be long before they were cursing and talking up a storm. Soon the kids would grow up, becoming the next generation of the club, like he should have been to his own father. Cutting the thought off, he stared into Matthew’s eyes. The Skulls were no longer his club either. He hoped Tate’s son was a pain in the ass for his mother. Shaking his head, he knelt down beside the bed. Cheryl was in the kitchen cleaning up the dinner dishes. He offered to help, but she asked for him to sort out Matthew.

  “I know, kiddo. I wish you were mine as well.” He sat with his back against the wooden bed and picked up a story book. “It’s time for a story. Lay back down and be quiet.” Opening the first page, he started to read the book. None of the words registered in his mind, but he spoke the words, using emphasis to help entertain Matthew.

  Cheryl joined him within minutes, and together they read the story. This was what he loved about being around her. He felt normal, if that was even a way to describe what was happening to him. The club had been his life for so long, and being away from it gave him an opportunity to be human instead of a guard.

  “He’s asleep,” Cheryl said, taking the book from him.

  Standing up, he watched her kiss her son and turn out the nightlight. There wasn’t much furniture or toys, but what they did have was taken care of. Cheryl was a hard working woman and made sure Matthew never went without. Butch knew she did though. She hadn’t bought herself something nice in three years. Whatever her son needed came before her own needs. Butch wanted the right to be able to treat them both.

  “Thank you for that.” She tucked some hair behind her ear, walking downstairs. “I don’t have any beer, but I made you a tea.” He followed behind her into the kitchen. They took their drinks into the sitting room. The sofa was threadbare, and he felt a spring or two dig into his ass. She had nothing and yet never complained about it. “You know you don’t have to spend your free time hanging around with me. I’m sure you’ve got more interesting things to do,” she said, smiling.