Killer in Him Read online

  She didn’t say anything. No, she hadn’t known that he’d seen her naked.

  “There were times your bedroom door wouldn’t be completely shut, and I’d catch a glimpse of you. You think you’re ugly because you’ve got curves. The men you’ve been with, Joy, they don’t know what a real woman is like.” He sank his fingers into her hair and claimed her mouth.

  Joy held onto his waist, not knowing what else to do. He tilted her head to the side and deepened the kiss. When his tongue ran across her lip, she opened up, accepting him. She didn’t want to refuse him. He released her hair, and his hands moved down her back to cup her ass. She gasped as he squeezed hard. His cock pressed against her stomach.

  She wanted this, and that alone scared her.

  He was a killer.

  The sound of a cell phone ringing in the distance made him pull away. “Enjoy your shower,” he said, stepping away from her. She watched him leave the bathroom, but he stopped at the doorway, giving her one more look over. For the first time in her life, she no longer felt like an overweight woman. That one look made her feel desired.

  Running fingers through her hair, she ran a hand down her face, touching her lips that were a little raw from his kiss.

  “It was just a kiss. Nothing else.” She turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. Climbing inside the shower, she stood under the hot water, and closed her eyes.

  She didn’t want to feel anything for him.

  Ben had killed her friend, murdered her for money.

  Holding onto the cold tile, she tried to bring some kind of focus to her world, but she was struggling. Joy rarely allowed herself the time to cry. She didn’t believe in tears, but right now, they were falling, and she was scared.

  The man she had been sharing her home with was dangerous, and he terrified her. She wasn’t used to feeling like this, and not only that, she was clearly attracted to him, which again, scared her. How could she be attracted to a man who was a cold-blooded killer? He didn’t care either. There was no remorse inside him either. Ben didn’t shed a tear.

  I’m going to die.

  I don’t want to die.

  “I’ve been waiting for this moment,” Ben said, climbing into the shower.

  She opened her eyes, jumping as he made his presence known. He was completely naked, and she just couldn’t take anymore. She screamed, and as she tried to get out of the stall, he caught her around the waist, holding her close. “I’m not going to do anything. It’s okay. Let it all out, Joy.”

  She tried to fight him off, but he wouldn’t let her. He was stronger than she was, and he was letting her know it.

  Breaking down in his arms, she stopped fighting him. Ben eased her down so that they were both sitting in the bath. She was between his legs, and he held her.

  “It’s okay. Let it all out.”

  Joy sobbed. She sobbed in ways she didn’t think she ever would. The tears kept on falling. Throughout it all, he held her, and that just made her cry even more. The man who was causing her tears made her want to cry harder.

  “You’re a killer.”

  “Yes.”

  “I hate you.”

  “I know.”

  “I want to go home.”

  “I can’t let you go home.”

  “You’re going to hurt me,” she said, covering her face with her hands.

  “Not if you do as I ask. I won’t hurt you.”

  That didn’t comfort her, not even close. He stroked her back, and after a time she became aware of that fact they were both naked. Pulling away from him, she got to her feet, and tried her hardest to cover most of her body by turning away so that he only saw her back. She heard him sigh and get to his feet.

  “I brought you some soap.”

  He leaned around, and she stared at the soap in his hand. Taking it from his palm, she started to wash her body, trying her hardest not to be aware of him. It was hard to do. Ben was a tall man, and she was always so conscious of him.

  When she was done, he handed her a towel, and she did her best to climb out, trying to save as much of her modesty as she could.

  All she had to do was what he asked, and she would live, yet it didn’t comfort her.

  ****

  Ben didn’t have a fucking clue what he was doing. He watched as Joy left the bathroom, grabbing her clothes as she did. The woman had no idea how damn sexy she was, or the effect she had on him. Using the same soap he’d given her, he quickly washed his body and hair, wiping away the day’s work. Killing people he was a master at, but this right now with Joy, he wasn’t. Throughout the whole of his life, he’d never once cared about a woman. They meant nothing to him, and he didn’t care about them. He certainly never consoled them, which was exactly what he just did for Joy. Turning off the shower, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Walking into the bedroom he saw Joy was perched on the end of the bed, staring at her jeans. There was blood on them, and it wasn’t hers.

  Moving toward her, he grabbed the jeans, wrapping them in a bag with his own, and went to his rucksack. He handed her a pair of his boxer shorts and a shirt. He was a lot bigger than she was, so he imagined they would be able to fit.

  “Wear these,” he said.

  She took them from him, and did some weird ass wiggle movement as she got into his briefs.

  “I’ve seen you naked.”

  Joy didn’t say anything, and he didn’t like it.

  He couldn’t take his gaze away as she pulled a shirt over her head and put her arms through it. With another tug, the towel was pulled away, and she let it fall to the floor. She perched on the end of the bed with her fingers locked together. While she’d been in the shower, he’d glanced at what she had written, and he knew she was confused by her reaction to him. She wasn’t the only one confused. All the years he’d spent killing people, he’d never felt like this.

  “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing? All the way over here you’ve been talking and cursing. Now you’re all silent.”

  She looked up at him, and he saw her bloodshot eyes. “Right now, I just want to go to sleep. Can I do that?”

  Ben hated the way she made him feel. For so long, he’d not felt anything for anyone, and yet in the short time with Joy, he had more feelings than he cared to handle.

  “Yes,” he said.

  Joy nodded, pulling the covers back, and climbing into bed.

  Taking a seat in the only one available in the room, Ben stared at her as she looked right back at him. Neither of them spoke as they stared at each other.

  He didn’t know how much time passed before her gaze started to fall from his. Her eyes grew droopy, and he watched her.

  More time passed until finally, she closed her eyes, and silence. Unable to look away, Ben watched her. This connection he had to this woman scared him. He didn’t want to acknowledge what she was making him feel. Fuck, he was a killer, and if it wasn’t for getting caught, he’d have ended her fucking life the second she walked through the door. It would be so easy to do, just a swipe of the blade, and done, finished.

  Leaning back in his chair, he watched as she relaxed into a calm sleep.

  From the first moment he met her, she had been this interesting part of his life. She was completely boring, and yet, he’d found a great deal of comfort in her.

  Climbing out of his seat, he pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, and slid in behind her. For the longest time, he stared up at the ceiling, listening to each indrawn breath that Joy took.

  In and out.

  You should have killed her.

  He looked over at her and sighed. His life would have been difficult either way, but he didn’t want to kill her. Unlike many of his previous kills, he’d not hidden in the dark. That one day of watching Joy had made him get out of the car and answer her advertisement.

  He was totally fucked.

  Rolling over, he stared at the back of her head for the longest time, a
nd then banded his arm around her. Pulling her close, he settled down, and inhaled the scent of cinnamon. Fuck, he was in heaven.

  Chapter Three

  Day One

  I’m still captured, and I’m still at the mercy of a killer. I have no idea what to do, how to handle what the hell is going on. I’m ashamed to admit, last night, I had a breakdown. I was at the point of no return. I couldn’t handle what was being thrown my way, and in the process, I lost myself. The way Ben was being, it was just too much, too difficult, and I just wanted to curl up in a ball, and pretend it wasn’t happening. Of course, life is not like that. Everything is happening, and there’s not a single thing I can do to stop it, no matter how much I want to.

  The kisses we shared, they scare me. The passion behind him, there is a lot of it, and again, I’m scared. I don’t understand that kind of passion. Men, they treat me nicely, or as a friend. I’ve never been pressed against the wall and ravished in that way before. His cock was rock hard, and I wanted him. Yes, that is my greatest shame. I wanted a man who killed my friend.

  “When we’ve eaten breakfast, we’ll go out shopping,” Ben said. He came through the hotel room door, clicking away on her cell phone.

  He had already put the call through to say she was taking an extended vacation with him, her boyfriend.

  Her boyfriend. Her colleagues knew that she had a guy renting a room from her, and sharing her life, but not that he was a boyfriend. She had told them he was hot. Would they believe that she would go on an extended vacation? From the complete lack of panic on his face, she assumed yes, they did. Just her luck.

  “Shopping?”

  “Yep. We’re going to be on vacation.”

  “You’re not going to throw me in a dungeon and keep me locked up?” she asked.

  Ben burst out laughing. “Baby, we’re on vacation, not being locked away.”

  “You could just take me back home. Let me live my life.”

  “What would you say about me? Your mysterious tenant that disappears when your neighbor gets killed?” he asked.

  She flinched. “You were only going to be with me for a few months, and you’ve found another place to stay. You’re a nomad, a traveler.”

  “No, that’s not going to cut it. Any decent detective would look into my disappearance. It goes past being too much of a coincidence.” He took a long sip of coffee, and offered her up a white paper bag. “Breakfast. Eat up.”

  Joy took the bag from him, closing the diary that he’d given her. She didn’t even know why she was writing in it. Writing offered her comfort from the darkness, the loneliness that consumed her on a daily basis. That darkness had started to lessen when Ben entered her life, but now that was all a lie.

  Opening up the package she saw a Danish pastry, which made her mouth water. Wrapping the baggy around the end of the pastry so she didn’t get grease on her fingers, she took a bite. She closed her eyes, enjoying the food.

  “So, where have you always wanted to go?” he asked.

  “Nowhere,” she said, forcing herself to look up at him. “I’ve always been happy with my life.”

  He took a sip of his coffee, staring at her. “Nowhere you want to go?”

  “No.”

  “Well, good for you, I’ve got a place. We’re flying out today.”

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “That’s a secret.” He took a seat in the chair, and she watched as he started flicking through his phone. Glancing at the door, she noticed he hadn’t tried to lock it. This was her chance. She could get away. It was morning now. She had a better chance of getting away than she did last night. Placing the pastry on the drawer, she moved toward the end of the bed, and glanced back at him. His gaze was on the phone. Heart pounding, she knew she didn’t have much of a chance of getting away from him. If she didn’t get away now, she never would be able to.

  Charging for the door, she grabbed the handle, and that was it. Ben was on her. Before she even got a chance to open the door, he slammed his body against her back, grabbing hold of her wrist. Crying out, she tried to fight him, but he grabbed her hand, pressing it above her head. He also caught her other hand and kept it locked against the door.

  “I wondered when you were going to try to be a fucking idiot,” he said. Ben growled the words against her neck, and he tightened his hold on her arms.

  She cried out at the burst of pain.

  Even as the pain rushed through her body, she just knew he wasn’t using his full strength. He was giving her just enough pain to be a warning, and that was it.

  “You can’t keep me here.”

  “I’m going to be taking you on a vacation, Joy. You’re going to have some fun—”

  “And at the end of it you’re going to kill me. Why don’t you just kill me now, huh? Get it over with?” She didn’t want to die, but she also didn’t want to sit around waiting for him to strike the blade across her neck.

  “Is that what you want?” His body moved closer, and he pushed his cock against her ass. Ben moaned as he did. “Or is it this that you want?”

  She closed her eyes even as her body responded to his touch. Ben pushed both of her hands over her head and caught them within one of his, stretching her up. Her pussy was wet, and she hated that. Joy hated how he affected her, and she didn’t even like him. There was nothing to like, or even redeeming about him.

  “You hate me, don’t you?” he asked. His hand pressed against her stomach.

  Joy didn’t fight him, and it embarrassed her that she didn’t. “Yes.”

  “But you want me, Joy. Your body knows what it wants.”

  “And you’re a killer.” She gave her hands a little tug, and he wouldn’t let her go. Growling, she just stood there, waiting.

  His hand moved down until he cupped her through her shorts, making her gasp. “This pussy, it wants me. It wants my dick, and to be fucked. I bet you’re wet for me right now. You want my dick in this nice hot pussy.”

  “Stop.”

  “Do you really want me to stop?” He started to rub his hand back and forward, and she closed her eyes, unable to suppress the moan that escaped her lips. Yes, she wanted it, and she hated him.

  There was no way she could allow him to touch her body if she hated him. Over and over he rubbed her pussy at the same time grinding his cock against her ass. He was rock hard, and again that surprised her.

  Ben was never short of willing females. She’d seen the ones he brought home with him. They were always screaming his name over and over.

  A few times she had wondered what it would be like to finally be in his bed, to have his expert hands on her body. Now, she wished she’d never given it a thought. She would have been a lot safer if she’d not left work early, and if she hadn’t ordered anything off the internet.

  Your life would be a lot better if you’d not accepted Ben’s request for the room.

  God, the whole rent a room out had been a good idea, or at least she thought it had been. It’s always amazing how in hindsight, you could look back, and think about all the different ways you could change your decision.

  He slid his hand past the elastic and cupped her pussy. “You’re going to be soaking wet for me, aren’t you?”

  She whimpered as he didn’t give her a chance to answer. He pressed a finger through her soaking wet slit, confirming exactly what he thought.

  Joy was turned on by him, and the way he touched her just made her want him even more. There was no stopping her own desires.

  “Oh, baby, you’re wetter than I imagined.” He pressed down to her entrance, and slid a single finger inside her. “You’re tight, too. Damn, you’re going to have to stretch yourself to take my cock. You’re so tight.” He pushed another finger inside her and started to stretch her pussy.

  There was no need for any additional lubrication as she was already dripping wet. Her cheeks heated with how aroused she was. It didn’t matter how many mantras she tried to remember. Her body didn’t care that Ben
was a killer, and he was touching her body.

  He pumped his fingers inside her, spreading them out, and plunging in deep, giving her no choice but to take the whole of him. “How long has it been?”

  In answer she moaned. It had been too damn long, and now he was surrounding her with his scent, his touch, and she couldn’t resist.

  He’s a killer.

  Even knowing what he was, she couldn’t stop her body’s response to him. She wanted him, and with his fingers deep inside her, she had to wonder why she was trying to fight it. What was the point in trying to fight it?

  “Come on, Joy, take what you want for a change. Rub your little pussy on my fingers. You know you want to.”

  “You killed Joanne!” She cried out as he flicked her clit, stroking it with his thumb.

  “Do you think I was the only one who took the job?”

  “What?”

  “Joanne had a large bounty on her head. I got there first. It’s as simple as that.”

  “There were others?”

  “Probably.” He thrust three fingers inside her pussy and continued to stroke her clit. “Tell me how long it has been.”

  “A long time,” she said, unable to keep up the fight.

  “Since before I took the room at your place?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. I don’t like to put my dick where other men have been.”

  “What?” She heard him unzipping his jeans, and the unmistakable sound of him lowering his zipper. Her hands were free, but she couldn’t move them, so kept them locked in place. In the next instant, his fingers were gone from inside her, and he roughly pulled down her thighs, gripped her hips to tilt her ass back.

  “I’ve been wanting to find out if this pussy is as tight as I imagined.”

  Joy was shocked as the tip of his cock pressed to her entrance. She didn’t fight him.

  Part of her knew she probably should, but the truth was, she didn’t want to. It had been so long, and she’d wanted Ben. Listening to him, being around him, her attraction for him had been instant, and that was what she was struggling with. The image of him over Joanne, and her memory of all the times they shared. She had considered him a friend, not a close one, but one all the same. The attraction had been building for some time. She had no idea it had been the same for him.