Ruin and Rise Read online

  He pulled his bike up to the front of the club, after being let in by the guys at the gates. When he took off his helmet and sunglasses, he stared at the MC, and a twinge of sadness filled him. It wasn’t because of regret, but because this had been his home, his family. It was true he still saw them as his family, still saw each member his brother. But not being in the club anymore meant he didn’t have that constant interaction with them. Hell, since he’d been booted form the club, he hadn’t really seen the guys, hadn’t really interacted with them the way he used to. The phone calls he’d had with Demon hadn’t brought back that brotherly love he’d had, he’d felt.

  “Well, I’ll be fucking slapped silly and jerked off,” Nerd said from the shadows at the side of the club, his weird as fuck humor still in place. He pushed off the wall, snubbed out his cigarette, and came closer. He wore a pair of Oakley’s, a stained and ripped t-shirt, grease smeared along his jean-covered thighs, and wore his dark, faded and worn in shit-kickers. In all, he looked like every other motherfucker in this joint, and that right there made Shakes feel a little bit more like home.

  “I came to talk to Demon.” Shakes said, although he knew Nerd probably knew why he was here. They all probably did.

  Nerd straightened. “Yeah, we all know why you’re here,” Nerd said in all seriousness. “Come on, man, Demon’s inside, and the club’s waiting.”

  Okay, now the red flags and the fucking sirens were going off in Shakes. Had something gone down with the club and Zeke? It was the only logical explanation as to why they wanted Shakes here.

  He followed Nerd into the club; the only people inside the main part of the bar area were a few prospects and some club whores. They made their way toward the meeting room, and being back in here after all this time, actually being here because there was some kind of business going down had Shakes feeling, even if only for a moment, that he was back home with his brothers.

  He stepped into the meeting room, saw all the guys sitting around the table, and stopped. Demon was at the head of the table, Joker and Steel on either side of him, and Nerd moved past him to take his place next to Steel. Striker looked like he was all kinds of fucked up on booze and joints already. Weasel and Wrath sat next to Joker, and the other guys all waited along the walls for whatever storm was about to pass through.

  “Take a seat, man,” Demon said and gestured for Shakes to sit across from him at the other end of the table. Having Shakes here in the meeting room, because he wasn’t patched anymore, was not like the club. That had more flags being raised within Shakes.

  Shakes sat down and leaned back in the chair. For a second, no one spoke, fuck, no one even breathed.

  “You have any idea why we called you here?” Demon asked.

  “About Zeke?” Shakes said without hesitation.

  Demon didn’t answer right away, but then he shook his head. “Nah, man, that’s not why, but I won’t lie and say he didn’t come here asking for the club to take you back.”

  That had Shakes rearing his head back, shock resonating through him. “What?”

  Demon nodded. “He wanted you back in the club because he wants things right with Daniella, and he thinks making us bring you back in the club will put him in her good graces.”

  Shakes didn’t respond, didn’t know what to say.

  Demon leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table. “Let’s get one thing straight, I don’t fucking care about Zeke getting in good with his kid. I don’t accept demands from sociopaths. I don’t make deals or take commands from guys that have put this club and the people I care about in danger.” There was a moment of silence, but Shakes didn’t respond.

  He agreed with his former President, agreed that taking demands and shit from anyone only made the club look weak. “I’d never ask Zeke or Daniella to do that for me. I know what I did, accept why I did it, and have come to the understanding that me loving Daniella is what my life is about. I loved all of you, still do. You’re still my family, still my brothers. I know putting Deanna and your kid in danger with Zeke sealed my fate, and I know that all of you would have done the same for your old ladies, would have forgotten about everyone else except them, and the end result would have been the same for each of you.

  No one spoke, but they all watched him.

  “I want you to know that you getting booted out wasn’t because we wanted you out of the club,” Joker said. “It was about the fact we have rules set in place for this MC.”

  Shakes nodded. “I know, I knew those rules when I took Daniella and left, and I accepted it the moment the ruling was brought down.”

  “We couldn’t just forget about you going against the club, betraying us by running, putting this MC and the people involved with it in danger…”

  Shakes knew this conversation was coming, but it hadn’t been on his mind since he’d found out Daniella was pregnant. He’d fucked up, not by running with Daniella, keeping her away form Zeke, and not telling the club what the fuck was going on. He’d fucked up and insured he’d lose his patch, or worse, his life, by not giving a shit that Zeke had threatened Deanna and Demon’s unborn child. He’d fucked up when he hadn’t given a shit about Zeke’s danger to the club after he’d left.

  That had been his betrayal, and that was why he’d been kicked out. It could have gone much worse. It could have ended with Shakes nothing but a rotting corpse in the ground. But he was here, breathing, living life with the woman he loved, and getting ready to be a father. For that, everything that had happened was all worth it.

  “Listen, man,” Steel said and exhaled roughly. “None of us are disputing the fact that we would have done the same for our old ladies.” Steel looked at Demon and Joker, all three men having found their old ladies, and probably acting out of character at times because of how they felt for the women. “But at the end of the day, if any of us had done what you did, right or wrong, because we loved our women, the outcome would have been the same for us.”

  Shakes ran a hand over his hair. “I know. I regret nothing, but I still don’t know why I’m here. Not that I don’t like being around you all, but, well, you know this is kind of fucking with my head.”

  Demon chuckled. “Listen, I told you I don’t take orders, not from Zeke, when it comes down to who will be in my club. You’re still part of our family, still a brother.”

  Shakes didn’t know what the hell was going on, but he wondered if this was going down a road he had never seen coming.

  Demon and Joker looked at each other, and then Demon looked at all of the other men. “We want you to know that after talking about it, after all the shit that has gone down, we want you as part of this club, blacked out ink or not. You’ve been through some pretty fucked up shit with this club, risked your life, and been there for each of us.”

  Shakes’ heart beat fast and hard; he realized where this was going, he just couldn’t believe it was actually going to. “We want to offer you a place back in the club. We’ve voted on it, and it’s unanimous that everyone thinks despite the betrayal and everything that happened, you’ve put more into this MC than you’ve taken away.”

  Well holy fucking shit. The club was offering Shakes a place back at the table.

  Shakes sat back, staring at each of the men he still considered brothers. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. If they took him back after what went down, they’d look weak. Other clubs would try to take their turf. Any club who tried to bring a guy back in the club after what Shakes had done should be challenged.

  “What the fuck is going on here?” Shakes asked. “Look, if you want to kill me, then go ahead and do it.”

  “This isn’t about getting you killed.”

  “Is it because of Daniella and who her old man is?” Were they after him to try and bring Zeke down? Fuck, he couldn’t do that for them either. His hands were tied. They were his brothers, but Daniella was his wife.

  “We thought about that tie, but that’s not why we want you back in the club,” Demon said. “
Believe it or not, this was a unanimous decision.”

  “What?” Shakes couldn’t get his mind around it. It was totally fucked up and crazy.

  “We all thought about it, and we’ve all been talking,” Nerd said. “The brothers who don’t have old ladies, we don’t understand, but Demon, Steel, and Joker have told us. Having a woman to call your own, it’s big, and it’s fucking scary. I get why you did it, man.”

  Shakes sat back. “I need to think about this.”

  Actually, it had been a long fucking day; all he wanted to do was go home and surround himself in Dani. She was his prize, the one woman he’d move heaven and earth to love and protect.

  “We’re not asking for anything. We want you back.”

  “This will make you guys look weak. Why would you do this?”

  Demon shrugged. “Sometimes we’ve got to learn to walk in other men’s shoes, Shakes. You’re one of the best damn trackers. You can smell a snitch a fucking mile away. You’ve got instincts no other brother possesses; and I want those instincts working for my club, no one else.”

  “I wouldn’t go to another club, Demon. If I’m not a Soldier, I’m nothing, and I’m happy to accept that.” Letting out a sigh, he stared at all of his brothers. “I let you all down, but I can’t just jump back in. I’ve got to take time, talk to Dani about this, and shit, I don’t know. I’ve got to figure shit out on my own.”

  “Take your time. We’ll be waiting.”

  Nodding, Shakes got to his feet, made his way out of the church, and then out of the club. It felt good being back inside the clubhouse, but he didn’t believe it was right. The moment he’d put the club at risk, it was over for him, as it should have been.

  His cell phone started to ring, and he quickly pulled out his phone to see that it was Dani.

  “Hey, baby, what’s up?”

  “Nothing. I was worried about you. You didn’t call to say you were going to be late. My dad said you’d left an hour or so ago.”

  He didn’t like the sound of the worry in her voice. “Shit, babe, Demon called and I stopped by the clubhouse.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I’ll tell you all about it when I get home.”

  “Okay, love you, bye.”

  Shakes disconnected the call and smiled. It was nice to have someone worry about him.

  “You’re pussy whipped, you know that, right?” Striker said, coming up behind him.

  “You got that right.”

  “You’ll never see me pussy whipped over a piece of gash.”

  Shakes tensed up. “Don’t fucking test me, and don’t insult my fucking woman.” He glared at the brother before him.

  Striker had a bit of a reputation for being a sadistic son of a bitch. He liked to leave a woman begging for his mark on her. Sometimes, those marks went just a little too deep.

  “What can I say? I don’t see the attraction.”

  “Call Deanna that shit, and see how far you get. In fact, try it with any of the men who’ve got old ladies. Let’s see what the fuck happens to you then.”

  “Sorry, man,” Striker said.

  It was like someone flipped a switch inside Striker. One moment he was an asshole, the next moment, he wasn’t.

  “I’ve got to get home.” He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Striker. Climbing on his bike, he rode out of the parking lot without looking back. Even though it had been great to see the guys, Shakes suddenly realized that he loved going home every night to Dani.

  The club life had been all he’d known for so long, yet right now, as he was driving to his old lady, the mother of his unborn child, he didn’t miss the violence of the MC. Sure, he’d love to be back there, be with his family, with the brothers, but the more he thought about it, he didn’t think he could take them up on their offer. Still, he had to talk to Dani about this.

  Shit, he needed to be with Dani. She was the only thing in his world that actually made any kind of sense to him. He focused on getting home to his woman. It was only when he was parking in his driveway that he realized he’d not told any of the guys that she was pregnant with their first kid.

  “Where are you, baby?” Shakes said, coming into the bedroom. She shouted that she was in the bath.

  “In here. I was waiting for you.” Dani stared up at her man. She’d gone for a bath after their phone call, hoping he’d catch her when he got home. The moment he saw her, he started to get undressed. It had been a long day, and Daniella wanted to end it on something good. She also wanted an orgasm, a big one. “Are you okay, Shakes?” she asked, worried about him.

  It wasn’t like him to wait so long to phone her.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” He got undressed and climbed into the tub behind her, and she rested against him. The hard length of his cock pressed against her back; she reached behind her and started to stroke him.

  “Talk to me, Shakes.”

  “Fuck, baby, I don’t want to talk about shit when your hand is on my dick.” He pressed a kiss to her neck, and she smiled.

  “I’ll make you feel good while you are talking to me, I promise.” She ran her thumb over the tip.

  Shakes cupped her breasts, caressing her nipples with his palms.

  “Demon wants me back in the club.”

  “I thought once you were out that was it?”

  “They’ll look weak if they take me back.”

  “This doesn’t have anything to do with my father, does it?” she asked. Zeke always liked to interfere where he shouldn’t.

  “He asked for them to take me back, but I don’t think that’s why Demon asked.”

  She thought over what he said.

  Finally, leaning back to look into his eyes, she smiled.

  “What do you want?” she asked. “Forget about the club, my father, and even me. What do you want to do with your life, Shakes?”

  “I want you.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Yes, that’s all. I was thinking about it on the way home, and I’ve come to a solution.”

  “Go on.” She paused so that she didn’t distract him, even though she really wanted to get fucked and fucked well.

  “Going back to the club is a bad idea. It’ll make them look weak, vulnerable. I also don’t want to go back. I love my life with you, and I don’t want that to change.”

  “Okay.”

  “So, I’m not going to go back to the club, and I’m not going to take my cut either.”

  “What will you do?” she asked.

  “I will continue to be close with them, a friend. I’ll help them out if they need me, but going back is not part of my moving forward.” His hands moved from her breasts to cup her stomach. “We’ve got a kid on the way. I’m not going to put you, or our baby, at risk. We’re in this together.”

  “I only want you to be happy, Shakes. That’s all I want.”

  “When I’m with you, I’m happy. You make me happy.” He tilted her head back, slamming his lips down on hers. “Now, I’ve got a feeling that my woman needs to be fucked.”

  She smiled up at him. “You’ve thought correctly.” Dani moaned as his hand slid between her thighs, cupping her flesh. She closed her eyes, and opened her legs wider for him to slide deeper inside her. “I need you, Shakes.”

  “Oh, baby, you’re going to get me. See, today has been really stressful for me, and the only way I can deal with something like that is to fuck. I want to fuck you. I’m going to spend all night fucking you.”

  “Yes, I want that. I need that, please.”

  He didn’t make her wait long. Before they’d even finished washing, he picked her up, dried her luscious body off with a towel, and then carried her out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. He placed her on the edge of the bed and took a step back, wrapping his fingers around his cock.

  “I want your lips on me now,” he said.

  Sinking to her knees, Dani was more than happy to oblige.

  Dani grabbed his cock, and before he could even thi
nk straight, she had his dick in her mouth. She sucked at him, stroked him with her tongue, and then cupped his balls with her hand. He groaned, snapped his mouth closed, and gritted his teeth. Shakes watched her hollow out her cheeks and take more of him into her mouth until the head of his erection bumped the back of her throat.

  They were both mindless with desire, and he couldn’t handle this right now. He didn’t want to come in her mouth, even if it was hot as fuck. He wanted her in their bed and under him so he could worship her.

  He pulled her to her feet, slammed his lips against hers, and speared his tongue into her mouth. For several long seconds, he didn’t do anything but fuck her mouth with his.

  “I have to have you now, Dani baby.”

  She breathed hard. Her mouth was swollen, red from his kisses and sucking his cock, and finally she nodded. “Good, because I need you, too.”

  He inhaled deeply, took in the light floral scent of her hair, and closed his eyes. He’d never thought he’d find a woman that made him feel like this, made him feel alive. Just being with Daniella made things good, better, and he never wanted to let her go.

  Shakes was used to taking what he wanted when he wanted it, but he’d always been gentle with her, and would show her every second of every day for the rest of his life that she meant so much to him. She was everything to him. He’d show her that she meant more to him than anything else on this planet.

  She pulled back and looked up at him, while he cupped the side of her face, smoothed his thumb along her cheek, and reveled in the fact her skin was buttery smooth, that she was actually his. He leaned down and kissed her soft and slow.

  “I want you so much,” she whispered against his mouth. “I love you so much.”

  He groaned. “I love you, Dani. I fucking love you, baby.” He kissed her hard and long.

  With her hands on his chest, he felt her smooth them down his abdomen until she pressed her fingers against his erection. He groaned when she touched him, grabbed his cock in her small hand.