Denying the Alpha Read online

  Ryan cleared his throat as he slowly came to Caleb’s side and held out a bottle of water.

  “Thanks,” Caleb said roughly, his throat like sandpaper from hours of nonstop exertion.

  “Georgia?”

  Caleb grunted.

  “You need to just claim her and be done with it.”

  “Not going to force her.”

  “Yeah, I figured that part out about five cords of wood ago. I’m pretty sure all the cabins are set for next winter now. And then some.”

  Every scrap piece of wood that had been cut or trimmed in the last week had been collected in one large pile near the main visitor’s lodge. Only leaves, needles, and bits of bark remained. He’d split and stacked a dozen cords of wood to add to the constant supply they maintained for the rental cabins. His flesh was caked with dirt, sweat, and blood, but he didn’t give a damn.

  “I did a drive-through on the four-wheeler. They’re just about done. She’ll be out of here soon. Probably only another week as they finish clearing the last few new roads and building lots, and then the cleanup.”

  “That won’t help, but thanks for the update.”

  The cleanup process was one of the things that made Connors Logging stand out from some of the other companies he’d looked at. On large jobs such as this, the amount of debris left behind in the form of wood chips, scattered limbs and branches, and stumps, plus ruts and ground and road damage from the machines could leave quite a headache for the landowner. Connors would bring in graders and rollers to level back out any major ruts. He was paying for them to clear out the stumps in the building lots, and the unsaleable wood was left to the owner’s discretion. Caleb had chosen to keep it for firewood, but if he’d asked, they’d have taken it away, either to mulch it or put it to some other use. They had a very low percentage of actual waste, and it had been a major influencing factor when he’d picked their company, despite not being the cheapest bid.

  “I know, man. I know.” Ryan’s voice was steady, but the pain in his eyes reflected Caleb’s own torment. Ryan had caught a scent one day while hiking near the coast on vacation and recognized her as his mate immediately. He’d followed the trail until he’d found her. Unfortunately for him, her car was wrapped around a tree, with her still inside it. Ryan mourned a love he’d never even known or had.

  Caleb hadn’t been looking for a mate, though lately, he’d grown restless thinking about getting older and not having a family, worried about the future of the den with no strong Alpha line to take over when he eventually became unable to lead. Yet now that he’d met Georgia, the idea of having a mate consumed his every thought.

  “Fuck, Ryan, I don’t want to end up like you. But I’m at a loss here. She has no interest in being mated, or ‘tied down,’ as she puts it.”

  Ryan grasped Caleb’s shoulder. As he was about to speak, his gaze shifted to a point off in the distance, confusion spreading across his face.

  “They weren’t going to be burning anything on the mountain, right?”

  Caleb whipped his head around, and his chest tightened at the sight below them.

  “That smoke is too dark to be brush,” he said, already running for the shed nearby that housed the four-wheelers and carts used for transportation of supplies and people among the lodge guests. He hopped on the first one and flipped the key, jamming his thumb down onto the start button. The engine kicked on and he tore down the narrow hiking path that wound all throughout the lower forest, taking turns at breakneck speed, nearly rolling the all-terrain vehicle more than once.

  After what felt like an eternity, Caleb broke through the tree line to find men yelling and shouting, trying to put out the fire with the extinguishers they kept on their vehicles.

  “Goddamn it, somebody get her the fuck away from here!” someone yelled.

  That was all Caleb needed to hear to make a mad dash for the machine currently still billowing smoke and flame.

  “Pete!” Georgia cried her brother’s name as she broke free of the men holding her back and scrambled for the harvester that lay on its side.

  Caleb tackled her around the waist, the two of them slamming into the ground just as the fuel tank exploded.

  She screamed, clawing at Caleb’s arms in an effort to escape his hold. He pulled her tight against him, her back to his chest, offering her silent strength as she watched the futile efforts to save her brother from the inferno. Eventually, she sank into him, sobs wracking her body.

  Caleb surveyed the scene. The heat buffeting them abated as the fuel reserves burned off, though the large Douglas fir tree that pinned the harvester machine down was still aflame. The vehicle had a hydraulic arm that extended out, with a grappling mechanism at the end that held a large saw blade. It appeared that a line had ruptured, causing hydraulic fluid to ignite when it sprayed on the super-heated engine. The broken line had caused the tree to fall backward and throw the balance of the machine off, tipping it and pinning it—with Pete inside—to the ground.

  Though it was hell on his back after all the wood splitting he’d done today, and his legs had pretty much fallen asleep, he didn’t try to move Georgia from their spot. The crew seemed to understand and worked around them in silence, tears streaking almost every face. Caleb could hear the sirens in the distance as emergency vehicles made their way to the mountain, and he bitterly wondered why they bothered with the sirens at all, knowing full well there was nobody to be saved once they reached their location.

  Despite the ever-retreating sun slipping below the horizon, the area remained well-lit. Spotlights, and vehicle headlights—a mix of Connors crew trucks and police and fire apparatus—cast a harsh light on the burnt wreckage. At some point, her father had arrived, navigating the area as best he could on crutches, his wife at his side. People came to speak with Georgia, but she refused to move from Caleb’s lap.

  Officers took preliminary statements from everyone on site, and Caleb’s theory about what had happened to the harvester proved correct. Medical personnel tried to check them both, but she just waved them away.

  “Why are your hands bandaged? And where is your shirt?”

  Caleb pressed a kiss to the top of her head, happy to hear her voice, no matter how trivial of a matter she chose to focus on at the moment. Her fingers toyed absently with the hair on his chest, something he decided he rather liked.

  “My shirt is, well, wrapped around my hands, but I’m sure they’re fine by now. I spent the entire day splitting all that wood piled by the visitor’s center, and they blistered and cracked.”

  “All of it? That was a huge pile.”

  “Yep. Ended up with nearly a dozen cords.”

  “By yourself?”

  “Yeah. I had a lot of … energy … to burn off.”

  She sniffed, snuggling further into his embrace. “Sorry ’bout that.”

  “Don’t be. It’s my problem to deal with, not yours. Never was.”

  Georgia’s fingers traced over the handful of even scratches lining Caleb’s forearms.

  “From the wood splitting?”

  Caleb cleared his throat, shifting his position slightly. “Not exactly.”

  “What happened? They’re still a bit fresh, they’re obviously from today. They’re barely healed.”

  “They’re … from you,” he said softly.

  Georgia immediately inspected the tips of her fingers, undoubtedly noticing the shortness of her nails and how incapable she’d be of doing such a thing.

  “That’s not possible.”

  Caleb stifled a sigh. He didn’t want to argue with her about this. Especially not right now.

  “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”

  He focused on staying calm, on providing her with the strength she needed at the moment. The issue of his arms could wait until she was ready to accept her true nature and what she’d just done to him.

  Chapter Four

  Georgia didn’t want to leave the comfort of Caleb’s arms. He sat on the ground with her for
hours, never once complaining as he held her, watching the horrifying scene play out. Pete’s body had been removed a while ago. Caleb stiffened slightly when the crews had loaded him, as if expecting her to take off. But the lull of Caleb’s warmth, his steady breathing, and the rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her cheek kept her calm.

  Police officers came to her, along with medical personnel, and even her father and stepmother, and she answered them all in a daze, reliving the awful moment each time. Darkness crept in as vehicles slowly began to leave. Her father appeared in front of her once more.

  “George,” he said softly, his voice cracking. “It’s time to leave, sweetie.” He held a hand out, as if to help her stand. She stared at it, for probably longer than she should have, before deciding.

  “Caleb will help me.”

  Her father cocked an eyebrow and lifted his gaze to Caleb, whose heartbeat had started a jackhammer pace.

  “Now, Georgia. You’re in no shape to drive yourself.”

  She sighed and pressed herself further into Caleb’s embrace. Caleb cleared his throat as if to say something and her father narrowed his eyes. As he began to speak, Kyle appeared and silenced her father with a hand on his arm. With a pointed look at Caleb’s arms intertwined with hers, Kyle whispered something into her father’s ear. She watched her father’s eyes go wide.

  “Okay,” he said, nodding his head and looking between her and Caleb. He took a deep breath. “Okay,” he repeated.

  She didn’t know what Kyle had told her father and couldn’t bring herself to care, either. Numbness was taking over, dulling her ability to feel anything. But the thought of being separated from Caleb’s unwavering strength terrified her, and she was grateful for whatever Kyle had said to change her father’s mind so quickly.

  Georgia was fully aware that she was being selfish. Knowing how he felt about her, she knew Caleb wouldn’t refuse her request. Taking advantage of his emotions right now probably made her a terrible person. Yet she was also aware enough of her mental state to be worried about what might happen to her when she was alone. She knew that Caleb was keeping her grounded right now, in more ways than one.

  Chills raced along her arms as Caleb stood, taking his body heat with him. Before she could rise, she found herself in the air, in his arms, as he lifted her as though she weighed nothing. He and her father exchanged a long look before her father stepped closer to press a kiss to her forehead.

  “I love you, baby. Always and no matter what.”

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  With a nod to Caleb, her father made his way back to his vehicle. Caleb carried her to his four-wheeler and set her on it before climbing on himself.

  She didn’t question it when he took a turn on the path that led them further up the mountain instead of to her truck. Leaving the mountain would make everything real, would mean facing the truth of Pete’s death. At least for now, she could not deal with it for just a little while longer.

  Eventually, she found herself standing behind Caleb’s cabin, the faint light from within illuminating the woods surrounding them. The darkness was inviting. She wanted to run, enter that darkness and disappear, lose herself among the dense trees. Caleb stepped out onto the porch, blotting out some of the light, and she turned to him. The clothing he carried in one hand fell to the wooden steps as he joined her, naked, in the grass.

  “Going for a stroll?”

  “Yes. And so are you. I suggest you take your shoes off unless you want to ruin them.”

  “Excuse me? I’m not going into the woods barefoot.”

  “You won’t be. Take your shoes off. And anything else you don’t want to rip to shreds.”

  She sighed, seeing where this was going.

  “Caleb, I can’t fucking shift. I’m like one of those people from Harry Potter, the ones who are born from magical parents but can’t do magic. I can’t believe you’re pulling this shit right now.”

  “Last chance,” he growled.

  “Caleb! Enough!”

  She glared at him, nails digging into her palms as she clenched her fists.

  Belatedly, the action and the associated pain registered in her brain. Opening her hands, she stared in shock at the spots of blood that her lengthened nails—claws, she thought, let’s be honest here, I have claws right now—had left in her broken skin.

  She stared in disbelief, watching as her fingers returned to normal.

  “Moments of extreme emotional duress can trigger a shift in someone with dormant genes. Because you were raised in a human family, with limited interaction with your shifter family, your bear went dormant. Think of it as she was hibernating. But she’s very much awake now.” Caleb lifted his arm, brandishing his scarred skin in front of her face. “And she wants out. I can help you with this, or I can force it. Either way, I suggest you strip. Because if you don’t do this now, and come to an understanding with her, she’ll force her way out and you won’t have a say in where or when it happens.”

  She looked again at her fingers. They ached and tingled.

  “Will it hurt?”

  “Like a motherfucker.”

  She looked up at him in surprise, remembering his transformation in the woods—was it just that morning?—and how he’d not made a sound.

  “I won’t lie to you, Georgia. It’s going to hurt a whole freaking lot in the beginning.” He stepped closer and cupped her face. “Over time, as you grow accustomed to it, your shifts will be faster and less painful. I promise.”

  “I’m scared,” she whispered.

  “I know, sweetheart.” Caleb kissed her, soft and gentle. “It’s all overwhelming. But trust me. Please?”

  Georgia let out a shaky breath. She thought of all the dreams she’d had over the years, and how they’d intensified, the urgency of them having grown since meeting Caleb. Things started to make sense, despite her not wanting to believe it.

  “Okay.” She nodded. “Okay.”

  Caleb held her eyes. “I’ll be right here. No matter what.”

  He gave her another gentle kiss, and it left her wanting more. Am I that fucked up in the head? I just watched my brother die and now I’m up here playing in the woods at night, preparing to shift, and I want to climb Caleb like a tree.

  He stepped back, folding his arms across his impressive chest.

  “Go ahead.”

  “What the fuck do you mean? I don’t know what I’m supposed to—” She gasped as strange feeling overtook her. It wasn’t so much the rise of an other inside her, though she was aware of the presence of her bear, a presence that had always been there but remained silent except in her dreams.

  What she felt was a lack of Caleb’s influence.

  She hadn’t realized that he’d been exerting so much power over her throughout the day, holding her back. Moments of extreme emotional duress, indeed.

  Spasms rocked through her body, and she hurried to get her workboots off. She had clothes in her truck and the motorhome, but not more boots. Caleb helped her strip, and just as her legs were freed, she fell to the ground, the cool earth and damp grass a welcomed feeling against her super-heated skin. She writhed and screamed as joints dislocated, muscles stretched, and bones broke and reset in rapid succession.

  Her scream turned to a roar as the pain subsided.

  Georgia looked around as she caught her breath. The world seemed strange from this height, the ground too close. Smells were intensified—the damp earth beneath her, the late season flowers, the sap in the trees, she could smell it all. And Caleb. She hadn’t noticed it before, that he had his own specific scent, but she recognized it immediately and associated it with him. It was woodsy, fresh, and comforting. Swinging her head around, she found him. He stood a few paces away, still a man, chest heaving as he watched her.

  She was pleased to note that she retained her consciousness, her awareness of what she was doing. It was a fear she’d been afraid to voice, the fear of losing all control of herself and her actions. Without thinking too
much about how to do it, she took a few small steps toward him. Caleb dropped to his knees and reached a hand out to stroke down her back. The sensation was odd, raising goosebumps along her skin, but it felt good.

  “Christ, you’re gorgeous.”

  She nudged at his chest, wanting him to shift as well. She certainly wasn’t about to go wander off in the woods at night without him, despite being able to see better.

  “I’m changing too, sweetheart. Don’t worry.”

  She watched him shift once again, fluid and quick, with no cries of pain. He sniffed all along her sides, nuzzling her before heading off down a path. She followed, marveling at the sensory overload. At a clearing near a stream, Caleb made her shift back.

  “How do you feel?” he asked, concern etched on his face.

  “Like my skin is on fire.”

  He nodded. “It’ll get better in time. I want you to shift again, on your own. You need to learn how to call your bear, and how to hold her back when needed. That one was all her.”

  “Please, not now.” She rubbed her arms, trying to relieve the aches and tingles. This high up the mountain, and this late in the year, the water would be frigid, but she waded in anyway, to splash some over her limbs. The cold was wonderfully refreshing and surprisingly deep, coming up to her waist.

  “It gets deeper by those rocks over there,” Caleb said, pointing off to the left. She hadn’t heard him enter the water. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder before moving away, taking a few steps and then falling onto his back, floating just out of reach. The cold water did nothing to diminish the erection he sported, and the sight of it sent heat through her core. Georgia slipped through the water after him.

  “Over the years I’ve managed to carve out a nice little pool over here. I even made a seat of sorts with rocks. It’s gorgeous in the middle of summer, when everything is green and in bloom.”

  She caught up to him, sliding right into his arms. Her knees bumped the rocks he sat on, his legs rubbing along the outsides of hers.