Bent, Not Broken Read online

  “I grew up.”

  “Killing men doesn’t make the problem go away. Bruce hasn’t been around for years, and Amy’s still fighting what he did to her. It’s not just going to go away because you killed him.” David slammed his hand down on the table. “Amy’s delicate. She needs to be cared for.”

  “And you don’t think I’ve got it in me to care?”

  “I don’t think you’ve cared about anything for a hell of a long time. Soldiers of Wrath, Demon, and the crap related to the club have been your life. I love you, son, always have and always will, but you’re not coming into Amy’s life with the intention of taking her away. You do that and you’re going to send her on a downward spiral. I won’t let that happen.”

  “I love her. She’s all I think about, all I care about. You’re not going to keep her from me.”

  “Then you better show me that you’ve got her best interests at heart. I don’t mind you being here. Just don’t rush Amy. She needs to have her life and live it, and you need to respect that.”

  Joker clenched his teeth together, angry at himself and his father. His father was right, but then he was always right and that just pissed Joker off.

  “I’ll stay.” He picked up his coffee, finding it lukewarm. Swallowing down the dark liquid, he nodded at his father before heading back to Amy’s bedroom.

  Entering the room and finding Amy already fast asleep in her large bed, he removed his jeans and shirt. He’d been so long without her that he wasn’t going to spend another night not sleeping with her.

  He was down to his boxer briefs and climbed into bed, making sure he didn’t make any sudden moves. He didn’t want to wake or frighten her. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he moved in closer, molding his body against hers.

  “I’m going to love you for the rest of our lives. I’ll give you everything, and if anyone tries to hurt you, I’ll kill them.” He kissed her temple, resting his head near hers, and breathing her in.

  For the first time in years, he closed his eyes and slept.

  Amy slowly became aware of the warm body behind her. Turning her head, her heart stopped pounding when she saw Reese asleep next to her. Breathing out a sigh, she allowed herself to just look at him. In sleep he appeared much like the boy she’d known growing up. There were no frown marks or hard angles decorating his face. He was completely relaxed. One of his arms was underneath her head while the other lay across her waist.

  This was the first night in months that she hadn’t woken up frightened. She must have been really tired not to notice when he crawled into bed with her.

  “You’re awake,” he said, opening an eye.

  “How did you know?” she asked, smiling.

  “You moved, and baby, you’re not a light mover. You tug on the bedding and shift a hell of a lot. There’s nothing covert about you.”

  She giggled.

  “That’s a sound I could get used to.”

  “Why are you in my bed and not your own?”

  “Do you remember what happened last night?” he asked.

  Amy thought about last night and her heart started to pound. “You’re not going anywhere?”

  “No, I’m not. I’m not going anywhere and I’m going to stay here until you’re completely comfortable with me. This is the bed I’ll sleep in. I’ll be there to meet you after work.”

  “You’re not going to back away?”

  “No, not even if you beg me to.”

  Amy licked her lip, pulling away from him a little. Reese stopped her from moving by tightening his hand on her waist. Should she call him Reese or Joker? She didn’t know what to think.

  “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  “You’re not running from me.”

  “I’m not going to run, but you’ve got to admit this is pretty damn confusing.” She moved off the bed, making her way toward the bathroom.

  “It’s not confusing, baby.” He moved toward the edge of the mattress, sitting up. She couldn’t help but glance down. His penis pressed against the front of his boxer briefs. Amy swallowed past the lump in her throat. He was huge.

  “I need to use the bathroom.” Opening her bathroom door, she sat on the toilet, and her thoughts returned to Reese. “Stop it,” she said, scolding her mind.

  She squealed when he knocked on the bathroom door, her nerves running wild.

  “Yeah?” she said, clearing her throat after the words left her. Her face felt bright red at the fact Reese could come in and see her on the toilet.

  “Can I come in?”

  “No.” she said right away. “Hold on.” She finished going, flushed the toilet, and washed her hands. She opened the door and saw Reese leaning against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest.

  He grabbed her hands in his in the next second. “You’re going to be mine. I’m not going to leave here until you’re by my side on the back of my bike.” He gripped her hands even tighter. “I’m not expecting you to be all right with this straight away, but with time, I want us to be more.” His thumbs stroked across her skin. “Nothing you can do or say is going to push me away. I know what happened to you. I know what Bruce did to you. Look into my eyes, Amy.”

  She did as he ordered, unable to look away from him.

  “Everything with us is real. I love you, baby.” He placed one of her hands over his heart. “You’re in here and nothing is going to push you away. Tell me you understand.”

  “I understand.”

  He pressed a kiss to her lips. “No pressure, no pushing, we’ll take our time together.”

  She smiled as he pulled away.

  “You’re gorgeous even when you’re embarrassed.” He chuckled, leaving her alone.

  Turning and staring at her reflection, she blew out a breath.

  It’s all going to be okay. She wanted to be with Reese and if that meant learning to accept him and the club then she would.

  “You can do this, Amy. He’s gone and nothing is ever going to happen to you again.”

  She found her hand shaking. This is what she hated the most. One part of her wanted to give herself over to Reese, to have what she’d witnessed that night all those years ago with the other woman. She wanted to give in and to know what it was like to be kissed, loved, and desired. However, another part of her was scared. All she’d ever known was fear and pain. Her mother and her therapist promised it would take time, but she’d be able to live normally. How could being frightened of everything in life be living normally? So far, she hadn’t been able to allow herself to experience new things, and she knew it was because of fear.

  Fisting her hand, she was determined to ignore that inner fear and try. The bastard who was supposed to love and protect her would no longer be allowed to rule her. Her father was dead and she would learn to live life to the fullest.

  Amy was afraid of what she was about to do, not because she feared Joker, but because she was afraid of taking this first step toward her new future. The reality was that she could hide in the past forever, never being able to live her life fully because she worried she’d always be afraid. She thought about Joker, about him lying beside her in bed all night, holding her, and just being there for her. He had killed her father, the man who hurt and tormented her for far too many years. She hated him, hated that he still had this kind of control over her. Why should he dictate how she loved or was loved? Why should he control who she gave herself to?

  She stared at herself in the mirror; her long dark hair was messy around her face, and light blue eyes. She had never thought of herself as pretty, never even thought she could truly be loved by someone. That was all thanks to her father, and what he had taken from her all those years ago. He hadn’t just taken her innocence, but her self-confidence, too.

  Amy heard the front door close as David left for the day. Could she really do what she was about to do? Could he give herself to Reese? She wanted him, had for so long. He might be considered her step-brother, but she was a grown woman, knew who she loved and what
she wanted, and she couldn’t let her life be dictated by her past any longer. She might not be able to give him the type of pleasure he sought, at least not at first, but she wanted to be with him, wanted to give him what he desired, and right now she’d just take baby steps.

  Leaving the bathroom and standing right inside the room, she stared at Reese, who stood across the room, and looked at the hard planes of his muscular back and his biceps, at of all the ink that covered his golden flesh. His hair was messy from the night before, and she wanted to run her fingers through the shorter strands. She wanted to tug at the dark hair and tell him she wasn’t going to be afraid anymore. He was doing something on his phone, and when he set it aside and turned to face her, she took in the glorious expanse of his chest. His hard lines and planes, his rippling six-pack, that V of muscle that disappeared down his boxers… all of it was on full display and showing proudly through his ink.

  For a second they just stood there while she checked him out, feeling her body grow warm and wet. She put all other thoughts aside so she could focus solely on the here and now.

  “Hey, baby…” his voice cracked at the end, and she knew he could see that she was growing aroused. It was not something she tried to hide because she wanted this desperately.

  “I want you, Joker.” she said his club name, knowing she needed to get used to saying it, because that’s who he was now. “I don’t know how well I will do in that department and I’m afraid, but I love you, and I want this.” She was standing up for herself, taking her life by the reigns, and saying fuck you to everything else that dragged her down.

  He had no clue what the fuck was going on. Well, of course that wasn’t true, because he was currently letting Amy lead the way. She wanted this, was coming to him. However, he didn’t want to rush her.

  “Baby, really, we don’t have to do this. We can wait because I have all the time in the world.”

  She lowered her eyes to the bulge he knew he was sporting then slowly lifted her gaze back to his face. “I trust you.”

  That was all she said, and he nodded once. “You have the power, Amy. You control me.” Joker had always been the one to take control, to dominate, and although that desire was in his blood, it was the very essence of who he was, he knew Amy didn’t need that shit. If she ever decided to submit to him, he would take care of her, treat her like his Queen, and never make her feel like she couldn’t trust him. He’d never betray her.

  “I don’t know where to start, Joker.” The long T-shirt and sweat pants she wore were maybe not the most flattering apparel, but to him she looked fucking gorgeous. “But I want to see it, Joker,” she swallowed. “I want to see your… erection.”

  God, the way she said that, all soft and hesitant, had his dick jerking. He started removing his underwear nice and slow because he didn’t want to frighten her. His erection sprang free, his breath hitched as her eyes widened, and he swore to fuck he could have come just from the sight of her staring at his cock. Her breathing visibly changed, her breasts rose and fell under the thin material of her T-shirt, and his cock jerked. He didn’t know how far she’d allow this to go, but she did have control over this moment, and he’d go along for the ride.

  “Are you sure about this, baby?”

  She licked her lips and took a few seconds to answer. “I don’t want to live in the past anymore. I want you, have never wanted anyone else, and I know you’ll never abuse my trust. I love you, Reese.”

  He smiled a real and genuine smile because he loved this woman so fucking much. He swore his dick visibly pulsed with each passing second that she stared at him. Hell, he could feel cum starting to seep out the tip. The slight worry that marred her face pulled at his heart. Joker reached out and stroked her face with his thumb. “You have the control, baby. I am here for whatever you need.” He was large man in every aspect, and he could see the thoughts running through her mind. She worried about the pain, about him stretching her, and just about being with him. His Amy was scared, and he fucking hated that.

  All thoughts fled him when she moved closer and wrapped her hand around his length. She started stroking him with slow strokes. “Am I doing it okay?” she asked softly.

  Oh fuck, yeah she was. He nodded once, unable to speak. A harsh sound left his throat when she dragged her hand over the underside of his cock. Joker could have come right then and there, but the first time he got off with Amy would be with her under him and coming as well. It felt so damn good that he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. All he wanted to do was give himself over to her, but he wanted to prolong this moment with her. “Jesus Christ, Amy.” He groaned loudly, cursing, murmuring how good it felt, how good she made him feel. “You’re doing such a good job, baby, but we have to stop, or it’ll be over before it really begins.” He was far too sensitive and needed a breather. “Shit, baby,” he couldn’t catch his breath. “Let me make you feel good, Amy.”

  She licked her lips, let go of his dick, and nodded slowly. She moved onto the bed, and before he could follow her, she lifted up the bottom of her shirt and took it off. Glancing down at her chest, he felt arousal the likes of which he had never experienced move through him. Her breasts were big and round and her tips were a dark pink. Her nipples were hard, and he could see she was embarrassed by her nudity.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said in a husky voice. “And you’re mine.”

  She glanced up at him, and a smile covered her face. She was staring up at him, her eyes so big and blue he felt like he could get lost in them. The thing was that he had no intentions of letting her go, ever. Joker moved onto the bed and very slowly leaned in and kissed her. He slid his tongue along her plump lips before slipping it into her mouth. When she pulled back he thought maybe he was moving too fast, but she surprised him by taking off her sweats and panties.

  “I want you, Joker,” she said very hesitantly. Joker was scared of pushing her, but oh, fucking hell, he wanted her so badly.

  He reached out to touch her gently and kept his gaze trained on her. When he slipped his hand between her thighs and felt her slickness coat his fingers, he groaned.

  “Kiss me, Joker. I’m dying here,” she smiled, but it was soft, almost weak.

  He kissed her with so much passion, so much love. He cradled her body close to his and kissed her for long, gentle seconds. He was hard as steel, but he was taking his time. When she started moving against him, pressing her breasts to his chest, he groaned against her mouth. Adjusting his body so his hips cradled hers, he breathed out roughly at the feel of her wetness coating the length of his shaft. She was hotter than hell and he was going to burn alive. He wanted to go slowly, ease her into all of this, but he was too far gone already. Hips jerking on their own accord, his length spread her labia apart as he moved back and forth against her. She liked what he was doing, and he knew by the little mewls and cries that left her parted lips.

  “It feels good, Joker.”

  “Good, baby. I’m going to make you feel even better.” He kissed her harder, with more passion. “You tell me when you want more.”

  “I want more,” she breathed against his mouth. Her breath fanning against his mouth smelled of the mint from her toothpaste. Arching, she pressed her hard nipples against his chest.

  “I want you so fucking badly, baby.” Thrusting against her with a little more force than necessary, he groaned, “I want to feel your tight, hot little body spreading around my cock. I want to make you feel good, make you only think about me.”

  She panted, but didn’t stop him.

  “You want that, too, don’t you, sweetheart?”

  “God, yes. Yes, I want that.” Her pussy cream coated him completely, verifying exactly what she’d said. He could feel it slip along her thighs, making him wet; it was such a turn-on.

  He stared at her face, looked right into her eyes, and reached between their bodies to grab his cock. He placed it at her entrance, but didn’t push into her. “I want you to be completely ready. I’ll ask you
over and over again until I know for sure you are on-board. I don’t want to rush you about anything, baby.” He cupped her cheek and kissed her. Murmuring against her mouth, he said, “I’m clean, and I know you are. I can wear a condom, but I want to feel you, baby, be with you without anything between us.” He breathed out. “I’ll be careful, pull out even, but I need this, Amy. I need you.”

  “Just be with me. I trust you more than anyone, Joker.”

  He could have died right then and would have only felt bliss. As he started pushing into her, inch by slow inch, he watched her face. He wanted to gauge her reaction for the slightest doubt or that she was uncomfortable and wanted him to stop. Her eyes were wide and full of emotion. Ecstasy filled him, and he gritted out, “Damn Amy, baby, it feels so good.” She was his, and he was claiming her. He bit his lip and continued sinking into her, feeling every hot part of her pussy ripple along his length.

  Dipping down, he dragged his lips across hers, stared down at her, and pulled out of her eager body. When just the head of his cock was at her entrance, he took a deep, calming breath and pushed back. He groaned, never before going so slow, or so gentle. But with Amy he found it more pleasurable taking his time and making sure that she was comfortable. He wanted this to feel good to her and he would go as slow as he needed to. She was slightly stiff beneath him, and her nails were lodged in his biceps, but she made these little mewling noises as he worked his cock in and out of her. Then she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, moaning out long and low.

  “That’s it, Amy, let me make you feel so fucking good. I’ll take care of you.” He kissed her face, not stopping until he touched every inch of her. Joker gripped the back of her thigh and lifted it out slightly to deepen his penetration. He made sure his movements were easy and slow, giving her body time to adjust to him, to stretch around his cock. With his mouth pressed to hers, he could hear her whispered pleas that she trusted him, and that she loved him. He whispered, “I’d never hurt you and will always protect you. I love you, baby.” They were so close, so fused together that they breathed the same air.