I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2) Read online

  Running a hand down his face, he kept on searching the files, and when he discovered one hidden away, he clicked on it. The name of the file was his name. It was password protected like everything else.

  Typing his father’s name, Tonio huffed when that didn’t open it. Next, he tried his mother’s name, followed by the six mistresses his father had kept over the years. None of them worked. Birthdays didn’t work, nor did the pathetic password, one, two, three.

  Sitting back, he stared at the file that he had spent months looking for. He was sure everything he wanted to hide was hidden in that file. He tried to delete it but once again, nothing. It wasn’t just the file he wanted to access, Tonio was sure the file also contained the contact details of everyone involved in that kind of shit.

  Rubbing at his eyes, he finally conceded defeat for the night. It was getting late, and he was starting to get tired. Removing his pants, he walked naked into the shower room, and had a quick wash. Ten minutes later, he was heading back into his bedroom when he heard the scream. Grabbing his gun from the bed, he rushed into Zara’s room, only to find her sitting up.

  Flicking on the light, he stared at her.

  “It’s nothing. It was a bad dream. I’m so sorry.”

  She was holding her chest, panting.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.” She wore a shirt that he’d left in the bedroom, and it seemed to swallow her up. Was he really that much bigger than she was? “You’re naked?”

  He glanced down to find that he was indeed naked. “The towel dropped.” Ready to hurt whoever the intruder was, his cock remained flaccid. He didn’t get off on pain. Years of being forced to, he’d made a vow never to get off on it again. It wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t the animal.

  “You’re nothing, boy!”

  She covered her eyes. “God, I’m so sorry for looking.”

  “Why? I’m not. It’s just a cock. Was your bad dream about what happened?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, I thought I’d be fine, but it seems I’m not immune to shit like that.”

  “Do you want me to stay with you?” he asked.

  Zara bit her lip and nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t mind.” He glanced down at his naked dick. “I better go and get some clothes on first.”

  “Yeah, that would be good.”

  He left her long enough to grab a pair of shorts. Quickly rushing back into her room, he climbed in beside her.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “Hey, nothing to be thankful for.” He settled in beside her, staring up at the ceiling. This was the first time he’d actually slept in a woman’s bed. It was kind of strange. Technically it was his bed, but for now, Zara was inside it.

  “You’re up late.”

  “I was working.”

  “Is there anything I can help you with?” she asked, rolling over.

  He turned to find her hands tucked beneath her head.

  She’s a virgin.

  Tonio had lost count of the number of virgins he’d fucked. The number of girls and women he’d played with for the amusement of his father.

  “No. This is not something anyone can help me with.”

  “A problem shared is a problem halved.”

  Too many people he didn’t know, knew about his past.

  “This isn’t the kind of thing you share.”

  Silence fell between them, and he liked the way she looked, all soft and happy.

  “I knew you copied from me,” she said, startling him.

  “You did.”

  “Yep.” She smiled. “You always looked so sad that I doubted you ever studied for the exams that the teacher liked to give us. I didn’t want you to fail.”

  “That’s … nice.”

  She giggled. “Are you not used to people being nice to you?”

  “No.”

  “What about your parents?”

  “No. They’re dead.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I killed them.” She tensed up, and he cursed. “Fuck! What is it about you that makes me spill my fucking secrets?”

  “You know I’m not going to tell anyone?”

  “That can’t be it. Why wouldn’t you tell anyone?” he asked. “Aren’t you afraid?”

  She frowned. “No, isn’t that weird? Maybe getting my face smashed against a desk has messed with my head.”

  He reached out, pushing back a strand of her blonde hair. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

  She laughed. “Yeah, right. I’m not an idiot. I know I’m not beautiful. I wasn’t even good enough to be sold.”

  Tonio ran his thumb across her lip, finding her enthralling.

  Zara wasn’t beautiful in the usual sense. She had a strange kind of beauty. She was pure, and caring, loving. How many women would stay behind and help their parents? There weren’t many. Tonio had only stayed because there was nowhere else for him to go.

  “You’re beautiful to me.” He pulled his hand away, and he saw tears in her eyes.

  She stared at him. “Did he hit your head?”

  “No. Maybe I’m tired.”

  “Maybe we should go to sleep?”

  “Are you asking me?”

  She giggled. “I don’t know.”

  Tonio found himself smiling.

  “You’re the first guy I’ve ever been to bed with.”

  “You’re the first girl I’ve been with.”

  “Really? I figured you’d be the kind of guy who is with a girl every night.”

  “I’m not. I’ve fucked them.”

  “What about the girl at the graveyard? Wasn’t she someone special?”

  Tonio sighed. He had thought she was someone special to him, the one woman to love for the rest of his life. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Yes. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “If you were part of a family of people that dealt with death, and you had the choice between running away with the man you love, or staying to marry someone you hated and beat you, who would you choose?”

  “Is this a trick question?”

  “No.”

  “I’d be with the man I love.”

  “What if it meant giving up luxury, and you had to work hard?”

  “Tonio, I do work hard. I’d rather work hard, knowing I was going home to someone I loved than someone who was going to hurt me. I don’t like pain. I never have.” She shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

  He shook his head.

  Maria had never loved him.

  She was just using him to entertain herself.

  “Nothing.”

  “Tonio, we were never close, but you don’t strike me as the kind of guy who asks something for no good reason.”

  “Let’s just say I was curious about something.”

  “Did a woman in your life pick her abusive husband rather than you?”

  Tonio cupped her cheek. “Yes.”

  “I can’t really answer for the woman in your life.”

  “She’s the one who is dead, Zara.”

  “I didn’t know her. There could have been any reason for it.”

  “You and I both know that’s not true.”

  “I’m just a woman, and I’m a weirdo.”

  “You’re good for me, Zara.”

  She reached out, and touched his cheek. “Thank you, Tonio.”

  “Get some sleep now. I’m here, and nothing is going to happen to you.”

  Zara pulled away, and tucked her hand beneath her cheek. He couldn’t look away from her.

  Slowly, she started to relax, and her breaths grew deeper.

  Tonio watched, fascinated as sleep claimed her. Was this what Donnie saw when he looked at Paige?

  His best friend was totally besotted with his woman, his wife. Donnie and Paige had made him question everything when it came to Maria.

  If she really loved him, wouldn’t she have run away with him?

  None of it made any sense to
him anymore, and he didn’t like it.

  Years of wanting Maria, and now he was finding out he was only a passing fancy to her.

  ****

  Wearing one of Tonio’s shirts, Zara made her way into the kitchen and started to make him breakfast. Last night, she had fallen asleep so peacefully. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d been so happy to sleep. Most nights she lay awake thinking of Lucien, and the mess that her father had created.

  Whipping up some pancakes, she found the action soothing. There was so much more she could do than make pizza. It was nice to finally do something different.

  Humming to herself, she started to cook them just as Tonio came out of the bedroom.

  His hair was all over the place as if they had been having sex. “What are you doing?”

  “Pancakes? I can do more than pizza, and I wanted to say thank you for staying with me last night, and for also saving me.” She was rambling.

  “Pancakes?”

  “Yes, pancakes. You do like them, right?”

  He stared at the pan, and she quickly flipped the batter over so it wouldn’t burn. “Yes, I like them.”

  “Good.” She patted the counter where there was a chair. “Take a seat.”

  There wasn’t much she could do but cook and bake was one of them.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I did. What about you?”

  He nodded.

  She didn’t like the silence during the day. At night she could make the excuse that they were both tired. Now, she just wanted to keep conversation going. “Here, eat up, and let me know what you think.” Zara poured over some syrup that she found in the fridge. “So, I was thinking I could go shopping for you. I can cook more than pizza as I’ve said many times.”

  “Zara, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. It’s just…” She didn’t know what else to say. “I enjoyed last night, and even though it’s weird, I feel comfortable with you.”

  “You’re free to stay here. I can’t let you go back to the pizza place until we know what is going on with Lucien. I’m not an asshole. Well, there are people who would say differently, but I’m not.”

  She chuckled, taking a seat opposite him. “I’m not expecting anything.”

  “I happen to enjoy last night. It was nice just talking. I haven’t been around many women with the whole just talking thing.”

  She was a little different.

  Zara was going to see the positive in what happened last night. After a bad dream, Tonio had been there to comfort her.

  “So, what are the plans for today?”

  Tonio opened his mouth to speak just as the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll go and see who that is.” He took a bite of pancake, and left. She sipped at her coffee, wondering what the hell she was doing. There was nothing going on between her and Tonio, and she cooked him breakfast as if she was his girlfriend.

  Get a grip, Zara. He’s going to think you’re crazy.

  “Is now a bad time?” Donnie asked.

  “No, come on in,” Tonio said.

  She tensed up when she saw all of his friends from last night, including two women. One, whom she recognized from school, was heavily pregnant, and the other was carrying a little girl on her hip.

  “Zara, you remember Paige?”

  “Yes, hey.” She held her hand up, pleased that she was still behind the counter. The shirt she wore was quite long and would offer her some modesty.

  “This is Charlene. Long story that’s kind of boring, the little girl she’s holding is Donnie’s little half-sister.”

  Again, Zara did the wave, not used to so many people all at once. “It’s nice to meet you all.”

  “Donnie told me what happened. It sucks, I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” she said, smiling. “Tonio got there in time, and all is well with me. It could have been a lot worse.” She was babbling again. “Should I have said that?”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Paige walked toward the counter. She rested a hand on her stomach. “What do you have?”

  “Pancakes?”

  “Oh, can I have some?”

  Zara pushed her plate toward her, and Paige’s blue eyes lit up. Her long raven hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She had always thought that Paige was a beautiful woman. Many days she had watched the other girl, wishing she had looks similar to Paige. She’d been fuller, but Zara had never wanted to be like one of the slender girls at school.

  “I’m going to get dressed.”

  She started out of the kitchen.

  “I’m coming as well,” Tonio said.

  Looking behind her, she saw that his friends were staring at them. Shaking any nerves from her body, she made her way into the bedroom. Before they had come to his apartment last night, he’d allowed her to pack up some clothes. Closing her door, she went to the wardrobe where she had hung them up.

  She quickly tugged on her clothes, and as she was leaving her bedroom, Tonio was coming out of his room.

  “Sorry about breakfast,” he said.

  “Don’t worry. This is your place. It’s not mine.”

  “Do you want to see your mom?”

  “Erm, I better.”

  “Would you like me to go with you?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  “Donnie, Luiz, and Jake want to go with us as well. We’ve got to ask her some questions.”

  “Oh, so it’s for finding out more about Lucien?” Now she felt stupid. She thought he wanted to come to keep her safe. Silly, stupid Zara.

  “We need to know what is going on with that pizza shop. Something about last night doesn’t add up.”

  “No, it’s fine, Tonio. You don’t owe me any explanation. Let’s go and see.”

  She walked out into the main sitting room, and she saw Jake sitting with Charlene, bouncing the little girl up and down on his knee. Paige was snuggled up against Donnie, and Luiz was taking a picture. Staring at them right now, she couldn’t put the whole mafia persona on any of them.

  They looked just like any kind of guys at nineteen or twenty. She was nineteen, while some of the guys would be twenty.

  Tonio cleared his throat, and the moment was lost. “Are you ready to do this?”

  “Are you staying with us, Zara?” Paige asked.

  “No, I’ve got to go with them.”

  Paige glared, turning toward Donnie. “Are you going to hurt her?”

  “No, we’re not. She’s going to be there with her mother for when we ask questions. God, have some faith I’m not a total bastard. I’m not going to hurt her.” Donnie silenced Paige’s protest with a kiss. “Be good.”

  Paige released a growl, and Tonio moved her toward the door. “Come on, let’s get out before something bad happens.”

  They left the room, and Donnie chuckled. “I love winding her up. Sex tonight will be off the charts.”

  “How does that even work?” Jake asked.

  “The same as usual,” Donnie said.

  “What makes you think it would be difficult to fuck a pregnant chick?” Luiz asked.

  Zara folded her arms, wishing she wasn’t privy to this conversation.

  Jake did a big circle against his abdomen. “They’re big you know. Wouldn’t they crush you?”

  Closing her eyes, she shook her head. Seriously? Girls were curious about what men talked about?

  “If they don’t crush you, you’re at risk of hurting them.”

  “Do you refuse to think?” Tonio asked.

  “What? Surely I’m not the only one who has thought about this?” Jake asked.

  “No, I’ve never thought about pregnancy sex,” Zara said. “It’s not on my list of things to worry about.” She forced a smile to her lips, wishing this trip didn’t happen. They were only a few feet from her mother’s room.

  “I tell you what, Jake, you’ll find a way. It’s either find a way or use your hand. Believe me, when you’re with the woman you love, you’ll
give her everything,” Donnie said, knocking on the door. “Don’t talk to Paige about this. She’s already upset that she’s ‘the size of a tank’. I don’t think that either. Her words, not mine.”

  “I was thinking a cow,” Luiz said, chuckling.

  Donnie slammed his fist against Luiz’s arm.

  “Sorry, man, joke, joke.”

  “Don’t let Paige hear you say that,” Donnie said. “She won’t let me see her naked anymore, and I can’t wait until she gives birth so she’ll stop moaning about her weight. She’s sexy as fuck.”

  “Does Paige know you talk about her like this?” Zara asked.

  All four men turned to her.

  “Keep quiet about it. I love Paige with my whole heart, and I will not see her sad,” Donnie said. “The pregnancy is already zapping her energy.”

  “Does she know everything that is going on?” Jake asked.

  “No. I want her to believe we’ve not got a problem. She doesn’t need to be stressed right now. I’ve spoken to the doctor, and he advised that I keep her happy, relaxed. No stress.”

  Zara found the sudden transformation rather sweet.

  He clearly cared about Paige.

  In that moment, she really wished there was a guy like him out there for her. The whole idea was stupid. Her future wasn’t looking great with what happened last night with Lucien. For now, she just wanted to stay alive. She’d worry about being alone later.

  Chapter Five

  Zara’s mother looked so fucking old and frail. She looked worse than when they had left her last night. Standing in the corner, Tonio watched as she sat drinking tea. Her hands were shaking so hard that the cups were rattling.

  “I don’t know why you’re all here,” she said.

  “Mom, Tonio and his friends have some questions.”

  “You can answer them. You know I’m not good with that business stuff.” Her mother fanned her hand out as if it wasn’t something of interest for her.

  He didn’t like that. She was hiding something.

  Zara had been stressing like fuck about what her father had done, and this woman was treating it as if it wasn’t that fucking bad. His anger was starting to get the better of him.

  “Actually, what I want to know goes before Zara took over from your husband.” Donnie dragged a chair from the table toward the middle of the room. He spun the chair and straddled it, staring at the mother.