Learning to Forgive Read online

  “No, I want to talk to you.”

  “Okay. I’ll wait.”

  David handed the woman behind the desk the phone then charged toward the elevator. His friends stopped him as he hit the button.

  “Where are you going?” Elliot asked.

  “I’m going to make a call.”

  “To the wife? I don’t think so. We’ve got a surprise for you.” They picked him up and carried him into a secluded part of the bar. “You didn’t get your bachelor party, and I’m sure Molly will forgive you.”

  “Guys, please, this is not necessary.”

  “This is a right for every man to have. You’re going to have some fun with a stripper, and you’re not going anywhere.”

  They pushed him into a chair, then tied rope around his waist stopping him from moving. David looked at the clock.

  “Come on, guys. Be serious. I want to go to my room.”

  “Molly can wait.”

  He was about to protest more as a blonde woman came walking over the room. She perched on his lap. David noticed she was attractive, but all he could think about was getting back to his room.

  “For fuck's sake! Get off me.” He shouted the words for the whole bar to hear. His friends were staring at him as if he’d grown three heads. The blonde stopped gyrating on his lap. Malcolm walked in when David was about to start yelling. “Untie me, Malcolm. Molly is waiting for my call.”

  His friend came and untied the rope for him. The blonde moved away when she realised he wasn’t interested.

  “David, your wife can wait. She’s at home with the kids. You know what they say, ‘what happens in Vegas—’”

  ”I don’t give a shit. You may not like Molly, but she’s my wife and will remain my wife for the rest of our lives. If you can’t accept that then I suggest you terminate our friendship now.” David ran his fingers through his hair. He needed to clear his head. It was too much for him at the moment. Molly was waiting for him. How much time had passed already?

  “Are you seriously going to put that woman before us?” Elliot asked.

  “She’s my wife, Elliot. I’d put her before everything. If you don’t want this, then fine. I’m going to my room.”

  He passed Malcolm, who patted him on the back. “It’s about time.”

  When he made it to his room, an hour had already passed. He cursed and kicked his room door as he shut it. David didn’t bother with a shower. He went straight for the phone and dialled her number.

  She picked up on the second ring. “Hello,” she said. Her voice didn’t sound as welcoming as the last time.

  “Molly, honey, I’m sorry. The guys stopped me from coming to the room, and then there was a stripper.”

  “Look, it's fine. Enjoy your stripper and time, David. I’ve got stuff to do.” She put the phone down before he had chance to explain. He looked at the phone in his hand then slammed it down into place.

  Another moment had been lost.

  Chapter Nine

  Molly carried the box out to the barbecue pit. Coals, fuel, and matches were next to the pit. She started pouring in the coals followed by the fuel then threw a couple of matches amongst the coals until it set alight. After a few minutes it was burning away. David sat in a chair watching her.

  “Are you sure you want this burning?” she asked.

  He nodded his head. “I’m not going to regret this.”

  She picked up each photo and threw them on the fire watching the images burn. These had been part of his life for so long that they now felt part of her life.

  “The biggest mistake I ever made was telling you I’d only care about you,” David said.

  Molly turned to face him. “What?”

  “I told you I could never love you. That was the biggest mistake of my life.”

  She turned her back on him adding more pictures to the glowing fire. No matter what happened, she’d given him everything.

  “Isabella was a very lucky woman,” she said.

  “Do you remember that night when I went to Vegas with the guys?” Molly nodded her head. She’d never forget that night. He’d called and filled her with hope only to squash it an hour later. Without saying a word she added more pictures to the glowing embers.

  “Well, I told the guys that you were my life. I can’t remember everything I said. Too many glasses of bubbly, but I told them they either had to accept you or get out of my life.”

  She knew what his friends had been saying about her behind her back. They thought she’d been after his money. If only her love for David Sinclair had been as simple as money. “I’m sorry you had to put your friendship on the line for me.”

  “I’d put everything on the line for you.”

  How she wished she could believe those words. It would be so easy to turn round, hug him close, and forget the last twenty-five years. However, she couldn’t do it.

  Instead, she remained silent as she burned every piece of visible memory that David had.

  She took a seat waiting for the fire to die down. “I never married you for your money,” she said after some time had passed.

  “I know.”

  “Sometimes I think it would have been easier if you were in love with Isabella.” She stared up at the bright blue sky hoping for some answers to her own problems.

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Because I wouldn’t have to deal with the fact you never loved her. At least you loved someone.”

  He cupped her cheek forcing her to look at him. She fought his hold for several moments. “I don’t want to look at you,” she said.

  “Please, Molly.”

  The earnest way he spoke made her give in. She turned to look at him and wished she hadn’t. Tears were streaming from his eyes. David had barely cried in all of the years she’d known him.

  “Don’t cry,” she said, wrapping her arms around him.

  “I loved you, Molly. All this time I loved you.”

  She shook her head, denying his feelings. It was too painful. If she allowed him in, he’d crush what remained of her heart. “I can’t do this, David.”

  “Give it time. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to prove to you how much I love you.”

  She didn’t say anything as they stayed out in the garden. The fire began to fade, and a chill settled in its place. “I think we need to go back inside. I’ll cook some dinner.”

  Molly followed him inside going straight to the kitchen. She heard him move toward his study. Staring at the refrigerator, she wondered what to cook. In the end, she sat down at the counter with a cup of tea. Ideas would fill her head soon. She sat down thinking about her life with David. There were many bad memories, but there were also good memories. He hadn’t been a monster to her. She rubbed her eyes recalling the first birthday of hers he’d missed.

  At the time she’d been heavily pregnant with Luke.

  ****

  Molly sat at the counter looking at the diamond wedding ring on her finger. She’d been married to David for five months. The pregnancy had been going well. There were no complications other than the fact she was constantly putting on weight, and the doctor put her on a diet in order to keep both mother and baby healthy. She’d dropped Blaze, Chris, and Trent off at school. They were all excited about the new baby coming.

  She stared at the ring on her finger and then at the calendar that had been on the wall. Today’s date had been marked with the words “Molly’s B-day” written in the centre. She’d forgotten about her own birthday, and the tears began to fall. Her hormones were all over the place. There hadn’t been a single birthday card or present for her. No one but she and her family knew it was her birthday.

  Wiping the tears from her eyes she jumped as the sound of the front door banging open and then closed echoed around the large house where she now lived. She wiped at her tears as David walked around the corner.

  “I forgot a document in the office,” he said. He slammed his briefcase on the side then went into his office. The banging made
her jump. She got off the stool and waddled over to the kettle.

  She could no longer see her feet, and she felt more and more like an over-stuffed penguin. He came back into the kitchen a few moments later. “I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he said.

  “Don’t worry about it, David. This is your house.”

  “Are you all right? You sound like you’ve been crying.”

  She shook her head making sure her back was to him. Molly didn’t want him to see her like this. It was hard enough living with the memory of his overly reserved dead wife.

  “No, I’m fine. Go back to work, and I’ll see you tonight.” She placed the tea bag in the cup then added more hot water.

  Molly waited for the sound of the door to go. It never came.

  “It’s your birthday today?” he asked.

  She turned and saw him standing staring at the calendar. “Don’t worry about it. I never do anything on this day. It is a useless occasion anyway.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. She cursed her hormones. Why did men have all the fun during sex while the women had to deal with all the consequences? She really felt she needed to lodge a complaint with someone about the deal.

  “No one knew,” he said.

  No one cared to know, she thought. Instead, she stirred her drink, removed the tea bag, then tried her best to walk properly back to her seat. When David made it home she was already in bed. He never saw her waddle like his boys witnessed.

  She’d heard the kids’ friends at school had named her “penguin”. Molly tried to see the humour. They were only children, but each time she thought about it the tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t control it, and that was the hardest part of it all.

  Molly sat down on the stool, closed the calendar, and drank her tea. “Don’t worry about it, David. Your work is probably waiting for you. I’ll see you later.”

  He stared at her for several moments. She turned her gaze to her tea-filled cup. How pitiful must she look?

  “I’ve got to make a call.”

  She nodded. When he was gone, she picked up the photographs she’d gotten developed, opened the album she'd purchased, and began to place them carefully into their places.

  Most of the photos were of the boys. There were a few with her in them. Trent was with her for most of the pictures.

  David walked back inside. “I’ve called work. I’m not going in for the rest of the day,” he said.

  “No, you love working. I understand. Don’t worry about it,” she said.

  “You’re crying, Molly.”

  “That’s the hormones. Every woman cries during pregnancy. Its natural, but I’m fine.” Even as she spoke the words more tears began to fall. She dropped her head in her hand and gave herself over to the crying. Within moments David was there, his arms wrapped around her.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” he said.

  “I can’t stand this anymore. It’s unfair. I don’t know what to do. I’m huge and walk like a penguin. I embarrass your sons when I walk to school with them. No one remembers my birthday even though I put it on the calendar, and I don’t want you to feel obliged to spend the day with me or guilty because you didn’t know when your wife’s birthday was,” she said, sobbing into his shirt. His arms wrapped around her. His heavenly scent comforted her even though she wanted to push him away.

  “I’ve got you, Molly. Let it all go.”

  And she did. She cried for everything that had gone wrong in her life, from the pregnancy to falling in love with a man who could never love her back.

  “I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s not fair.”

  “Molly, let it all go. I’m here, baby, and I’ll catch you. Let it go,” he said.

  When the tears subsided, she blew her nose on some tissue. “I’m sorry for being an emotional wreck.”

  He stroked her cheek and kissed her lips. “Thank you for carrying my child.”

  She stayed in his arms while he stroked her hair. Every part of her felt unattractive and swollen.

  “However, I think we need to celebrate your birthday.”

  “How? I can’t go out anywhere.” She wouldn’t be able to fit in the doors she was so big.

  “I’m going to run you a bath and treat you at home.” He took her hand and led her up to the main bedroom. She tried to resist his hold, but he wouldn’t let her leave his side. Molly followed as he ran her a bath then began to help her undress.

  “Please, don’t.” She begged him. Her cheeks were warm with embarrassment. She didn’t want him to see her body.

  “You’re beautiful, Molly. I want to see you,” he said. After a few seconds of hesitation, she moved her hands down and let him undress her. She closed her eyes unable to look at him for fear of something going wrong.

  What if he pushed her away? This baby had given her stretch marks, and her breasts were larger than they were before. She ached all over.

  The circus tent that she wore, which was supposed to be a dress, was pulled up her body. She stood in the centre of the bathroom, exposed for him to look at and touch. He started at her shoulders, rubbing his fingers along her muscles. She tensed waiting for more. David hadn’t touched her in weeks. It was like she’d grown a ball on her front and become instantly unattractive.

  “Look at me, Molly,” he said.

  She opened her eyes. He was staring at her. His hand moved down to cup a large breast in his palm.

  Molly winced when he thumbed the nipples. The slight touch was a combination of pleasure and pain.

  “You’re so beautiful. These are large, ripe, and will feed our child, Molly.” His hand moved down farther still to caress her stomach. “Here is where our child rests. There is nothing unattractive about you. I want you desperately.” He pressed her palm to his cock. She felt the heat of him through the pants he wore. His shaft was long, thick, and jumped in her palm.

  She gasped.

  “I want you, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

  David dropped to his knees before her, kissing her stomach and down farther to lay gentle kisses to her mound. She whimpered. His touch was more than she could stand.

  When she thought she would pass out from the pleasure, he helped her into the bath-tub.

  ****

  That afternoon was the best time of her life. David had been attentive and stayed with her until the following morning. He hadn’t missed another birthday after that. Neither had any of their children. It was funny how she’d never thought of any of this during their years together. Thinking about their time together was starting to open her mind about certain emotions.

  Molly looked up as David walked in. She noticed all the paperwork in his arms and frowned.

  “You shouldn’t be overdoing yourself. You should be resting,” she said.

  “I thought you were cooking dinner?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I couldn’t think what to do.”

  “Good, we’ll get take-out. You don’t have to constantly be cooking.” He took a seat at the counter then placed the paperwork in front of him. “There is something I want to talk to you about.”

  She took the seat next to him, waiting for him to say something.

  “Many years ago you booked a vacation that I didn’t make. If I recall correctly none of us went on vacation that year. You never booked any trips or vacations again.”

  “You always had a reason not to go. I never wanted to get my hopes up.” Molly wished she’d forced him to sign the divorce papers. For every memory that was good, she also recalled the bad as well.

  He reached over taking hold of her hand. “I was a fool, Molly. I never should have treated you the way I did. You have no idea how much I’ve loved you over the years.”

  Molly turned away from his intense gaze. It hurt to see his honesty after all these years. She was so used to everything else. “What do you want to show me?” she asked.

  He opened up the file. “I bought something for you, a few years back. I never told you about it. I have no idea why I neve
r told you. I was stupid for keeping it away from you even after the renovations.” David pulled out a picture of a little cottage. He handed it over to her. She took the picture, and her hands were shaking as she stared at the cottage.

  “This was where I organised the vacation.” The small cottage was surrounded by fields and forests. She’d booked the cottage because it would have enough rooms for all of them and provide activities for all the boys. Molly turned the page over reading through the description she remembered. “What happened? Why do you have this?” she asked.

  “When I didn’t make it to the vacation and you didn’t go I thought nothing of it. Then one night I found the leaflet with a pile of papers with the cottage on it. I knew you had wanted to go, and I’d ruined it for you. So, I organised a viewing of the property. It needed a lot of work and some rebuilding to get it back up to scratch.”

  “You never told me about this.”

  “I couldn’t find the right time to tell you. I wanted to all the time. It just never seemed right.”

  Tears were falling from her eyes as she looked at the picture. “Is this for me?” she asked.

  He nodded his head. Without thinking, she walked round to where he sat and hugged him close.

  David wrapped his arms around her. His grip was tight. “Thank you so much,” she said.

  Molly closed her eyes as the tears continued to fall. This was one of the best things she’d heard all day. The last she heard of the cottage was it had been condemned, and that had been years ago. How long ago she couldn’t remember.

  “I was thinking we could go there,” he said.

  “What?”

  “I don’t want our marriage to end, Molly. This could be our new start away from this.” David gestured around the room. “This would be our house with no tainted memories. Only us, together.”

  She stared at the cottage. “You want to go together?”

  “Yes. I love you. I know you don’t believe me, but I do. More than you can ever imagine. Please, give me a chance to prove it to you.”

  Molly stared at the photo of the cottage. Even after all this time she knew she was still in love with him. She wanted to give them a chance, and maybe without Isabella’s memory they could have a real chance to be together.