Gash (The Skulls #13) Read online

  “What happened to the baby?” Gash asked. “I know what fucking happened to me. What happened to our baby?”

  Tears filled her eyes as she stared at him.

  “Jeff drugged me up as I was about to leave the apartment, and he had Rebecca’s help. The next thing I knew, I woke up, and he had my baby aborted. After that, I went a little crazy, and let’s just say I’ve been trying to kill myself every chance I got.”

  Gash stepped forward, taking hold of her hand, and turning it up. She stared at his bent head, refusing to look at the scars that covered the inside of her wrist. She saw them every single day, a constant reminder to her. When she was at work, she covered them up with long sleeves. There were times she forgot that they were there. With Gash staring at them now, she relived the relief that she felt when she pressed the broken glass into her skin. She’d tried to end her life with broken glass, metal, anything that could cut into her skin.

  Each time, before death would claim her, she’d been saved.

  Her doctor on the last time had stayed with her, talking, and asked her to consider the fact that maybe she was still alive to give someone a message.

  “We had a baby?”

  “Everything you need to know is with Whizz. Excuse me.” Charlotte couldn’t stay with him after revealing her soul to him.

  Leaving the kitchen, she made her way outside and took several deep breaths. The garden was small, but it had a chair toward the back. Taking a seat, she stared up at the cool sky.

  “Are you okay?” Sally asked.

  Charlotte turned, surprised to see the young girl sitting on the patio, doing her homework.

  “I thought you were inside?”

  “I like working outside. It clears my head.” Sally shrugged. She had a blanket wrapped around her. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Charlotte stared up at the stormy sky. “It’s going to start raining soon.”

  “There’s snow forecast,” Sally said.

  “Figures.”

  Sally didn’t say anything else, and Charlotte couldn’t help but look back at the young girl. “Are you happy?”

  “I am. The Skulls, it’s a family, and with Lacey and Whizz adopting me, I’ve finally found a place for myself. Besides, I’m always protected.”

  “Protected?”

  “The guys and the prospects, they all work to protect us. Some of the brothers pick me up, and bring me home. I like it. For once in my life, I’m actually safe.”

  Sally went bright red, and Charlotte just knew that she had a crush on someone. It had been too long since she had been young, and falling in love. There were times she wished she could still be like that.

  ****

  “I need the folder you have on Charlotte.” Gash leaned against the door. His entire world was turning upside down, and right at that moment, he couldn’t focus for shit. The woman he’d spent years dreaming about was none other than Charlotte, the woman he’d always liked but always overlooked. The woman he believed he could never have.

  “You know?”

  “She just fucking told me. It’s not true, man. Tell me it’s not true.” Gash didn’t want it to be true. He didn’t want her to have gone through that kind of shit on her own. Fuck, he’d been so consumed by himself that he’d not even thought about anyone else.

  Whizz didn’t say anything. “I’ve just finished printing her stuff out.”

  “Is it bad?”

  “It’s worse, and you’ll get everything you need in there. There’s a spare bedroom upstairs on the right. It’s where I’m going to put you and Charlotte tonight.”

  Gash thanked him and walked upstairs. His hands were shaking, and when he closed the door to the bedroom, he sat down on the bed and stared at the folder. He saw the sheets of paper peeking out at the edges, taunting him.

  Closing his eyes, he finally saw Charlotte, the woman without a face, and she fit perfectly. He’d fucked her hard, and taken what he wanted without asking. Charlotte had submitted to him, giving him everything he wanted, and they had been perfect for each other.

  Opening the file, he started to read, Charlotte’s words ringing around his head. Twenty-four hours ago, he’d been intent on hurting her, and yet because of her association with him, she’d been the one hurt.

  She wanted to help him, and on the paperwork in front of him there were calls, proof that she had tried to reach out to him. Gritting his teeth, he read through every single piece of paper, even down to Charlotte’s admission.

  He even chuckled, though he felt anything but laughing. Charlotte had been pregnant with their kid, and then she’d had it torn from her. She had gone to a mental facility at the same time he’d been sent to prison, and released the exact same day that he had.

  Fucking shit!

  Throwing the file to the floor, he started to pace the bedroom. This was all just too damn much for him.

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

  He’d always assumed that he’d been the one fucked over. Now he learned that not only had Jeff and Rebecca fucked him, they had also fucked over an innocent. Charlotte had been an innocent. She shouldn’t have been brought into this shit, and yet she was.

  Even now he remembered her as a shining light, always smiling and laughing with him. Just being around her had made him feel good. He’d always tried to make her laugh, which wasn’t hard to do.

  Since he’d seen her again, Charlotte hadn’t laughed or joked. The carefree woman was gone, and in her place was a broken one. Anger filled him, consuming him, and there was nothing he could do to give her back what had been taken from them.

  Moving toward the window he paused. Charlotte was still outside, and she was staring up at the sky. Did she even realize the way she was sitting? Her legs were out, and her hands with her palms facing up. It was the same position that she had taken in one of the pictures as she’d been interviewed. There was no life inside her.

  “You’ve both been broken,” Whizz said, startling him.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  “I thought I’d come to see how you were getting on. Lacey’s ruining what Charlotte did of dinner.”

  “You knew this when I asked you to do the search?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s why you didn’t want me to go hunting for her?”

  “Charlotte has suffered enough. She doesn’t need to be used by you to find out more truth.”

  Gash gritted his teeth to stop himself from crying. He just wanted to scream and cry, and hurt someone. Jeff Wright. He was going to hurt that son of a bitch, and when he was done, he was going to make sure that the bastard wished for death long before he even got it.

  “They tortured her,” Gash said.

  “She was helpless.”

  “I know.” He’d not been there to help or save her. Instead he’d been locked in a cell, and spent his days planning to hurt those who had put him there. “I didn’t help her.”

  “Dude, you couldn’t help her. Don’t beat yourself up about shit you couldn’t control. You can help her now, and that is all that counts.”

  Charlotte’s face was turned up to the sky. There was no smile on her face, and she was staring up at nothing. Her face was blank.

  “When I was threatening her life she offered to kill Rebecca providing I kill Jeff.”

  “I’m not shocked by that.” Whizz shrugged. “What are you going to do?”

  “She was carrying my baby.”

  “I think you need to touch on the fact that not only was she carrying your baby, you didn’t even remember putting it inside her.”

  “Everything is totally fucked up.”

  “Do you care that you screwed her?”

  Gash glared at him. “What kind of fucking question is that?”

  “I’m just trying to make sense of it, man.”

  “Sense? You want sense? How about this? For the past seven years I’ve been curious about a fucking woman that I didn’t think existed. Only it turns out that not only
does that woman exist, but she’s been someone I’ve been harboring hatred for because she didn’t come and help me. When everything I’ve been thinking is fucking lies. Charlotte needed me. She was pregnant with my kid, and I fucking failed her.” His voice had risen to the point of yelling. He was so angry. This time he was angry at himself, and how stupid he had been.

  She had been there, and tried to save you.

  She went to hell along with you, and you’d not even known it.

  The first thing he did when he saw her again was choke her. Fuck, crap, shit. He hated himself.

  “I had a kid.”

  “Did you remember her?” Whizz asked.

  “I remembered bits of the night, holding her, feeling her wrapped around me. It’s what got me through the worst part of prison. I need to go talk to her.” Gash wasn’t going to run away. All he wanted to do was forget about the shit that she’d been through, focus on his own pain, but that wasn’t the kind of man he was. Years ago, it’s what he would have done, but now, he wouldn’t even dream of doing it.

  Now was not the time to shirk his responsibilities.

  “We’re here if you need us,” Whizz said. “I’m going to keep on looking, and you can stay here until you need it.”

  Gash nodded. In moments like this, he appreciated the club. The Skulls gave him the family that he never had. They were his brothers, which was why he never sought out his own brother. He didn’t even know what had happened to Andrew. They had both come to the club together, and Andrew had failed to make the grade when it came to The Skulls’ standard.

  Pushing thoughts of his brother out of his mind, he made his way outside. Gash paused when he saw Sally on the ground, studying.

  Sally looked at him, then toward Charlotte. “Okay, I’ll look scarce.”

  He waited until Sally was gone, and the door had closed giving them some privacy, or as much privacy as they could have in the garden.

  Charlotte was nibbling her lip, and he moved toward her.

  “That was fast,” she said.

  “I read the file. I didn’t need to read all of it.” He’d glanced through some of the pages. Gash knew as much as he needed to about the situation.

  “Do you still think I know where Rebecca and Jeff are?” Charlotte chuckled.

  “Don’t do that. Don’t make jokes.” He knelt down, holding onto her knees.

  Tears were once again in Charlotte’s eyes. “You were drunk. I never expected you to remember what happened. You thought I’d put you to bed after passing out.”

  “I don’t remember the day clearly.”

  “You were my first,” she said.

  Gash winced. “You were a virgin.”

  “Yep. How unlucky am I? Not only do I have sex for the first time with a man so drunk he doesn’t know his own name, but I get pregnant the first time.” Charlotte shook her head. “I guess I asked for what I got.”

  He cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “No, you didn’t get what you deserved.” Unable to hold back any more, he took possession of her lips. It was a simple kiss, and yet it was totally right. Pulling away, he wiped the tears that fell down her cheeks, hating the fact she was crying. “We made a baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m going to kill Jeff. I will make him suffer, and make him wish that he never looked in your direction.”

  “Do you forgive me?” she asked, sobbing.

  “You’ve got nothing to forgive, baby. Nothing at all. I’m the one who should be asking you for forgiveness.”

  “Why? There’s nothing to forgive you either, Gash. I know you didn’t want to have sex with me. I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

  She was staring down at her hands, which lay in her lap.

  Gash didn’t know what to say. Charlotte had always been unreachable to him. She was the kind of woman a man like him couldn’t have. He wasn’t a good man. He had killed people and didn’t care that he’d ended lives. When he first met Charlotte, she had always been the sunlight. She reminded him of purity, love, and everything he’d sold his soul to never have.

  “You deserved better than a man like me. I’m not a good guy. I’m a fucking evil bastard, Charlotte.”

  “Stop it.”

  “No. You’re an amazing woman. I loved spending time with you, but I knew I wasn’t the guy for you. You’re the kind of girl who deserved someone who was gentle, kind.”

  “You don’t know me at all,” she said. “I was attracted to you, and you gave me the most amazing night of my life. When I woke in the morning, reality came back, and that sucked.”

  “And you got pregnant. Were you going to tell me?”

  “I told you that I was going to tell you, Gash. I knew I had to make you believe that we’d been together. You deserved a chance to be a father.”

  He took a deep breath to stop himself from falling apart. “I’d have believed you.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I know you. That fucker took away our chance to be together. We would have been happy, Charlotte. I’d have made you my old lady, and no one would have ever hurt you.”

  “Seven years, Gash. We would have had a seven year old child.”

  Pressing his head against hers, he gripped the back of her neck, holding her tightly.

  “I will end him, Charlotte.”

  “Not without me. You’re not leaving me behind. I need this, Gash.”

  They would have to do this together, and Gash wasn’t going to let her go.

  Chapter Six

  “I can’t believe this,” Angel said, coming out of the kitchen of the club. Anthony trailed behind her. Eva looked up from the table where Miles and Tabitha were doing their homework.

  “What is it?”

  “I’ve just got a call from the school. Daisy’s parents have left her there. I picked Anthony up, and I had thought about taking Daisy home, but the teacher wouldn’t let me. Now, they can’t get in touch with her parents, and the school decided to contact me.” Angel growled. “They really annoy you.”

  Eva laughed. “You can swear if you want. The kids hear enough around their dads.”

  “I’m not interested in adding to their vocabulary. Will you watch Anthony while I go and get her?”

  “I want to go,” Anthony said.

  “I’ll go, too. She’s my best friend,” Tabitha said. “Her mommy’s mean to her.”

  Angel’s heart sank. She had done her best to keep Lash and the boys out of it. This was not the first time that Daisy had been left at school, waiting to be picked up. If she didn’t pick her up, Eva would, or one of the other women. Daisy was best friends with Tabitha, and they’d been close since the two had started nursery. Angel wanted to take Daisy away from her drug addict parents, but so far, their lawyer had advised not to get involved. She didn’t like to cause conflict, and even though Tiny had given the parents a talking to, she didn’t want more trouble.

  “I’ll be back soon,” Angel said.

  “Take one of the prospects with you.”

  In that moment Twisted, one of the nomad men who was taking a chance of settling down in Fort Wills, entered the kitchen. “I heard you needed a prospect? I’m better than a prospect.” He gave a bow.

  “I’ve got to go and pick up Daisy, and take her home.” Angel sighed. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

  “Yes. I’ll drive.”

  She took hold of Anthony and Tabitha’s hands, and walked them toward the car. Once they were seated, she climbed into the passenger seat, and waited for Twisted to take them toward the school.

  “Daisy’s parents are bad news,” Twisted said.

  “You know them?”

  “I’ve heard of them. Bad people. Addicts always are.” Twisted didn’t take his eyes off the road.

  “I don’t want to leave her there.”

  “We don’t have a choice. The guys can give them warnings, but unless the state does anything, we’re stuck.”

  Angel hated this. S
he hated feeling helpless.

  When she pulled up outside of the school, Daisy stood with the principal, Mr. Dean Mint.

  Climbing out of the car, she smiled at him. “I’m sorry.”

  “Angel, you do not need to apologize. I’ve notified social services of this.”

  Daisy was staring at her feet. Angel’s heart went out to her. “It can’t go on.”

  “I don’t know if it will do any good. I will do what I need to do to keep her safe.” Dean looked tired. He was a good principal and tried to keep the kids safe.

  “You do the best you can.” She reached out. “Come on, Daisy. Tabitha is waiting for you.”

  She gave Dean a final smile, and led Daisy away to her car. There was already a spare car seat in the center of the back seats.

  “Mommy forgot about me again,” Daisy said.

  Cupping her cheek, Angel sighed. “I know, honey. I didn’t forget about you.”

  “Will you be my mommy?”

  Angel would in a heartbeat. “I can’t now, baby. We’ll see what happens.” Securing her in her seat, she blew out a breath and climbed back in the front.

  “It would solve a lot of problems. I bet her parents wouldn’t even know she was missing if you took her home now.”

  Glancing behind her, she saw Tabitha and Daisy were talking. Checking on Anthony, she saw her son held onto Daisy’s hand, and was staring at her.

  “Take me to her trailer park,” Angel said.

  She wouldn’t allow Daisy to go without, not on her watch.

  “She likes you,” Twisted said.

  “Are you trying to convince me to adopt her?”

  “Why not? You can adopt her, or Lacey could. She’d be happy to have a kid.”

  Angel blew out a breath, rubbing at her temple. This had to stop.

  They pulled up outside of Daisy’s parents’ trailer park, and she heard the shouting all the way in the car.

  “I’ll be right back,” Angel said. There was a time she’d have run in the opposite direction from any kind of confrontation. For Daisy, for the club, she’d learned to stand tall, and to fight for what she believed in. Lash and even Gash had given her more confidence. The Skulls had helped to enhance her life.