Marrying an Asshole (Dirty Fuckers MC #3) Read online

  “So, who the hell cares? Did he make it good? I mean, that is almost a year, and you’re still fucking him. That has to be some kind of record for him.”

  Suzy winced. “Thanks.”

  “No, I’m serious. Pixie hasn’t been sleeping with anyone.”

  “How do you know?”

  “It’s me. I know everything. I kid you not, he’s not with anyone else, just you.”

  “How is that possible?” Suzy asked.

  “Maybe he likes the whole blank canvas thing, or maybe he likes you, Suzy.”

  “He could have any woman he wants.”

  “You made him work for it.”

  “Not very hard,” Suzy said, snorting at the idea.

  “I don’t know. You’d known him nearly two years, and then you finally gave in. In Pixie-timeline that’s like, a hundred.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I’m totally serious. He’s never had to work for a woman. Never ever. You’re the first woman I know that he’s actually stayed serious about. He hasn’t been with anyone else. He could have feelings for you.”

  Suzy paused. She didn’t even want to hope of that. When she first saw Pixie, he’d made her nervous. Like really nervous. She saw right through his act, and knew he was a player, using women and tossing them aside when he was done. She never wanted to fall victim to that. Then through Cora, Grace, and Pixie’s random visits to the shop, she’d started to like him, and his attention. When they slept together, those feelings didn’t change. If anything, she tried to keep him at arm’s length so she didn’t fall so easily.

  “What’s wrong?” Chloe asked.

  “I don’t know. I like him as well. I mean, he’s not this asshole when he’s with me. He makes me laugh.”

  “Why haven’t you told anyone about you two being together?” Chloe asked. “Are you ashamed of him?”

  “No, not at all. I mean, I think I was ashamed of myself for falling for him. Just being another woman in a random bunch of women. I’m not immune to his charm.” Suzy tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “The thing is, he’s not the guy he makes out he is at the club. When we’re alone, he’s different. He’s kind, and he’s thoughtful, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.” She stopped eating, and put her plate on the table.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “When I was ill, and you and Grace weren’t around, he’d bring me soup, and sit with me until you guys got home. He sat and watched reruns of some comedy show on television. The other day, he stayed all night, and I slept in his arms.” She rubbed her eyes. “God, he even got me a job.”

  “What?”

  “He’s the one that got me this job with James and the club. I told him I may have to leave Greater Falls to go somewhere else. I didn’t go. I’m right here because I’m going to get paid well. All James asked was for me to keep your guys’ secrets, and that is exactly what I’m going to do.”

  “Dirty Fuckers need privacy. I’ll never tell their secrets, and I don’t even ask Richard about them either. I love them like a family.”

  Suzy stood and grabbed her plate, heading toward the kitchen. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “What do you mean?” Chloe asked, following her.

  “If I fall for him, and he picks someone else, I’m screwed. I never even thought of this when I decided to take this damn job. Ugh, I’m so stupid. How can I allow myself to be with him? I’m not the kind of woman who’ll be able to stand to see him with other women!” She opened the fridge and grabbed out an orange juice.

  “What if he’s not like that?”

  “What do you mean? It’s Pixie. You’ve known him longer than I have. Does he strike you as the kind of guy to settle down?”

  “He didn’t strike me as the kind of guy to stay hunting for a girl who didn’t want him.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that when it comes to Pixie, I really don’t know what to expect.” Chloe took a bottle of juice out of the fridge, and they both made their way back to the sofa. Collapsing down onto the plush fabric, Suzy rested her head back against it. “Do you have feelings for him?” Chloe asked.

  “Yeah, I do. More than I even want to admit to. I’m a sucker. Just tell me now.”

  “You’re a sucker, but you really can’t help it,” Chloe said, patting her hand. “You’re good for Pixie.”

  “I was worried that you would all get angry with me.”

  “What for?”

  “Giving in to Pixie.”

  “Sweetie, I’m not one to judge. Look at me, I spent the entire weekend with Richard, and I only got back this morning.”

  “How did it go?”

  “It was … different.”

  “Different, that sounds a little vague.”

  “I don’t know what to make of it to be honest,” Chloe said. “I wonder if the only reason we could have worked was because of the club.”

  “I don’t get you.”

  “He’s a Dominant. You’ve had the grand tour, right?”

  “Yes.” She hadn’t seen it in action, but she didn’t need to. It was all over the internet now, and in almost every single book. Grace had a thing for erotica, and stealing her e-reader, Suzy had read it. Some of them were really hot.

  “Richard’s a Dominant, and I’m a submissive. When we played in the club, we had our roles to play, and neither of us differed from it. Now, we’re different, and it’s strange.”

  “Good strange, or bad strange?”

  “I really don’t know anymore.” Chloe smiled. “You ever feel like you’re out of your own body, and looking in?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “When I’m with Richard, I don’t know what to expect, or if I’m playing it right.”

  “You shouldn’t be thinking like that, Chloe. It should be natural to you.”

  Chloe sighed. “It sucks. It really does suck.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “More than anything. I don’t even want to think of life without him.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I don’t know. I expected something different than what is actually happening.”

  “Look at the two of us. Crying and moaning over men who actually want to be with us.”

  “Never thought it would happen,” Chloe said.

  “Let’s watch a movie, and pretend we’re normal.”

  Suzy settled down into the sofa as Chloe picked a movie. All of their problems would be there tomorrow.

  Rubbing at her temples, Suzy forced a smile at her friend. In the back of her mind, she wished for Pixie’s arms wrapped around her.

  One day at a time. That was what she had to do. One day at a time.

  ****

  “I thought if anyone was going to understand me, it would be you,” Dane said.

  Pixie looked up at the man that he was babysitting. “Why the hell would I understand what the hell you were doing?”

  “You’re like me. You need to roam free.”

  Pixie shook his head. “I’m nothing like you.”

  “You’ve never settled down in all the years I’ve known you.”

  “The right woman hadn’t come my way, and besides, you’ve been gone a long time. Things change.”

  “Oh, so you’re seeing someone?”

  “Yeah, I am, actually, and it’s serious.”

  “How serious?”

  “Serious enough for me to try to get her pregnant.” The words slipped out, and he cursed himself. “Just shut the fuck up. No matter what you think, this isn’t going to go away. Lucy had a right to know what happened to you. You’ve got three kids. One of them lost his shit when you were gone, and it was up to us to pick up the pieces.”

  “And I appreciate that.”

  “You don’t appreciate shit.”

  Pixie lifted up his cell phone and looked through the photographs he’d taken of Suzy. There were some of her with Cora, with the club, with Grace and Chloe, then a rare few of the two of them together.


  “I never intended to be gone for long.”

  “Regardless, you were still gone. Your son felt that loss. The fucking club felt your loss.” Pixie forced himself to look at Dane. “Where were you?”

  “I was dealing with myself.”

  “You were out partying and screwing around, weren’t you?”

  Dane didn’t say a word, and Pixie forced a laugh. “This is what it’s about? You think you didn’t get enough pussy before the club?”

  “I was married.”

  “When we fought for Ned Walker, Dane, there were enough groupies for you to have more than your fair share. If I recall, you did. You had your fair share, and then some before Lucy came. Once she was there, no other woman would do. You wanted her. We warned you about settling down. You said you were ready, and I have to say, you convinced me. Now you’re saying that you weren’t.”

  Silence fell between them.

  “I just, I woke up one day, and I realized I wanted a different life.”

  Pixie closed his eyes, disgusted with himself. There was a time he’d have completely understood Dane’s thinking. The feeling of being trapped into a marriage, three kids, a mortgage, a club, all of it. Now, he didn’t see it as a trap, but a fucking privilege.

  “You walked away from one of the best women this world has to offer. She was there by your side when you fought. Through the losses and the wins, and I don’t remember anyone ever pushing Lucy aside. She pushed them aside to get to you.” Pixie shook his head. “She didn’t want kids at the time, but she had them for you. The more I think about it, the more Lucy did for you, and you’re just a selfish asshole.”

  “I never stopped loving her.”

  “But your dick was inside another woman.”

  “You fuck women every single day. All of them different.”

  “I’d never do that to the woman I commit the rest of my life to. That shit is sacred.” He’d never cheat on Suzy. He loved her so much.

  Holy shit!

  He loved her. That was what he felt for Suzy. It wasn’t anything else but love. Pixie stood up, and left the room, slamming the door closed, and leaning against it before dropping down onto his butt.

  He was in love with Suzy. The thought of it, the words, besides shocking him, were the utter truth. Licking his lips, he ran a hand over his face. His heart was pounding. Was this what James felt for Cora? Drake for Grace. Holy hell. Yeah, he was in the zone of being shocked right now.

  Grabbing his cell phone, he dialed Suzie’s number, and waited.

  “Hello,” she said, sounding a little breathless.

  “Hey, baby,” he said, smiling.

  “Pixie, how are you?”

  He imagined her sitting on the edge of her bed, listening to him.

  “I’m good. Missing you, and wishing I was with you.”

  “I do as well.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “We’re watching another movie, and I’m just getting changed into pajamas. I thought you might come here, and we could have some time together.”

  “Wish I could, baby, but I’ve got to babysit. I’ll be with you tomorrow, though.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  Silence fell between them, and he rubbed at his eyes. “Suzy, babe, have you been with anyone else since we’ve been together?”

  “No, why? Have you?”

  “No. I told you, this is you and me.”

  “Have you ever been faithful to a woman?”

  “I’ve never committed to a woman. You’re the first in everything.”

  She giggled. “We’re both virgins in different areas.”

  “We are. You’ll be here tomorrow, right?”

  “Of course. I’ve got work to do.”

  “Suzy, come on!”

  He heard Chloe yell, and decided to let Suzy go. “I’ll chat with you soon.”

  “Bye, Pixie.”

  She hung up the phone.

  “I love you, Suzy.” Even though she didn’t hear, it felt good for him to tell her. He was pleased to actually say it.

  ****

  Kitty walked toward Caleb’s bedroom. He lived on the fourth floor, and she hadn’t been here at all. Apart from being together in the playrooms, she never ventured near him out of the realms of the Dom/sub relationship.

  Her heart was racing, and she rubbed her hands together, hating how nervous she felt. This man had given her heaven without crossing the line with her. Sex between them had been … weird.

  No, it hadn’t been weird, it’d been perfect, and she had freaked out, keeping him at arm’s length, begging him not to tell anyone.

  Locking her fingers together, she counted to ten, and then before she could chicken out, she knocked on his door.

  There.

  No backing down.

  She was petrified.

  Seconds passed, and when she didn’t think he’d answer, she turned to leave. The door opened.

  “Kitty?”

  “Hey,” she said, forcing a smile to her lips. “Crazy life, huh? Dane back and all.” She ran fingers through her hair, and stared at him. “So, yeah, Lucy must be freaking or something about her husband being here.” She was rambling, so she sucked her lips in and smiled. “Anyway, I don’t know why I’m here, and so I’m just going to go.”

  Caleb reached out, stopping her. The moment he touched her, she gasped. “What’s going on?”

  This was the first time he’d touched her out of their life. She stared at his large hand on her arm before turning toward him.

  “You’re touching me,” she said.

  He gritted his teeth.

  “I’ve seen you completely naked, Kitty. I’ve been inside you, not that anyone would know. I’ve spanked your ass until it was red raw, and you couldn’t sit on it for a week. Denied you orgasms, and I know everything about you.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay. You walked away earlier, and I was worried.”

  “You were worried about me?”

  “It’s the first time you’ve just walked away.”

  “And you don’t have a clue why I did that?” The anger in his voice was clear to hear.

  She looked down at her clenched hands and took a deep breath. “No.”

  He snorted. “Of course you wouldn’t. Why the hell would you think I couldn’t do it this time?”

  “Do what?”

  “Do this with you. You ask me to spank your ass, and then not to touch you. I have to watch you crying, and I can’t give you comfort.”

  “You don’t need to.”

  “Yes, I do. I’m the one that caused those tears. I should be the one to help ease those tears, but you take it away from me. You take so much away from me.”

  “You don’t need it.”

  “Yes, I do!” He yelled the words, and paused, taking a deep breath. “You want to continue with our relationship in the playroom, something has to change.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want to be this kind of man. You’re not giving me a chance to be a nice guy, and I am, Kitty. I would be so good for you if you gave me a chance.”

  “Caleb?”

  “No. You want me again, you give me everything. Until then, we’ve got nothing to talk about.”

  He closed the door, leaving her alone, and knowing something had to change.

  Chapter Seven

  James dropped Cora off at the school, and made his way toward Lucy’s home. It had been a hard night, knowing that Dane was back. Not only was Dane back but it had fucked with Ryan’s head. James wasn’t used to dealing with this kind of drama. The club didn’t have any drama because they stayed well clear of it. This was why he’d come to Greater Falls. After a young life of fighting, and being part of Ned Walker’s crew¸ he was done with everything else.

  They didn’t do drugs, nor did they deal in guns. They were one hundred percent legit. They owned the diner, and the biggest risk they took was with the stock markets. They had in
vestments all over the place, and intended to put as much faith in Greater Falls as their future.

  The club meant everything to him. Cora was the love of his life. They didn’t need to get married for that love to actually mean something to him. His life, it was perfect, and now Dane was back, and he didn’t trust him.

  Parking his car outside of Lucy’s home, James climbed out as Ryan opened the door. The boy/man before him looked sheepish, and scared.

  “I’m sorry, James. I know you asked for me to be better, and I should have been better.”

  James held his hand up. “No need to forgive. Your father turning up, that was a big deal, and I can see that.”

  Ryan let out a breath. “I just, I don’t know. He told us he couldn’t deal, and he was sorry, but he was back now.” Tears filled Ryan’s eyes, and he looked away. “I just snapped.”

  “Everyone snaps from time to time. Being a good man, a better man, it’s about being able to control that emotion.”

  “I know, and I completely screwed up, didn’t I?”

  “You screwed up your chance. When you go back to school next week, you’ve got no choice but to keep your head down, and to do whatever shit you need to do to graduate.”

  “I will.”

  A car pulling in on the driveway made James turn. There was Lucy. She looked pale and sad.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, going to help her with the car.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little tired.”

  “How is Lewis doing?” In the past year Lucy had grown close to a rancher, Lewis Corn. The club had him checked out, and when he’d come back clean, they were more than happy for her. None of them had expected her to constantly wait for Dane. That wasn’t fair on her. Lucy was a beautiful woman who deserved a chance to find someone.

  “I don’t know. I called him last night. Let him know that Dane was back. It seemed wrong, deceitful to, you know, let him find out from someone else.”

  “I understand.”

  “Has he left again?” Lucy asked.

  He saw the hope in her eyes, and it made James mad as hell. Dane had run from his responsibilities, and that pissed him off. “No. He’s back at the club.”

  “Oh.”

  “We don’t need him, Mom.”

  “Ryan, sweetie, go to your room, and study. I really appreciate everything you’ve done, but you should be in school. Please, do this for me.”