Ashamed (The Family #3) Read online

  Raine sat on one side of her, while he took the other. Not once did he stop touching Raine.

  He craved her touch, needed it. The past week had been hectic, rushing from one brothel, to the fighting rings, and documenting everything. He’d also reached out to Keyboard, real name Jamie, to get him to work for them.

  Jamie wanted nothing to do with The Family, but he would help a friend of Xander’s. A deal was struck, protection guaranteed, and their new life was emerging.

  None of them could walk away, but they could make it so they didn’t need to run.

  When the movie finished, Raine got the bathroom ready, and by eight o’clock they were able to get Christie to sleep, together.

  It was the first real taste of family he ever had, and he wanted to hold onto that.

  Partially closing Christie’s door, they headed back into the kitchen. “Do you want a beer?” Raine asked.

  “Yes.”

  He watched as she opened a bottle of wine, pouring herself a glass. She handed him an open bottle of beer.

  “Do you want to see the cake I made?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  She pulled out a doll cake, and he saw the dress was made out of frosting. “What do you think?”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “I love practicing. One day I hope to be really good.”

  She put the cake back into the fridge.

  “I have something for you,” he said.

  Luiz walked to the sitting room. There on the coffee table was the box of stuff he’d taken from the house. He’d finally gotten around to getting it. He’d gone through the whole house, taking what he felt they could keep.

  “You went back?” she asked.

  “I did. You can tell me what you want to do with all of this stuff.”

  She pulled out the photograph of the four of them together. “Can I have this in your room?”

  “It’s just as much your room. Any pictures you want to put up, do so. I want you to find this place a comfort. This is your home now.”

  “I’ll try.” She put the picture down, and took out several more. “Thank you for the clothes.”

  “The clothes?”

  “The ones you got me. I finally put them away.”

  Luiz nodded. He’d gone through a website, picking everything he thought she might like. “I want you to see this as your house, too.”

  “I will. Thank you.”

  He watched as she found the present she had gotten for Christie.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “It’s a dress she wanted. It probably seems silly. I remember my mom always buying us a special birthday outfit. If we weren’t in school we could wear it the whole day. I miss them.”

  “It’s not silly.”

  “I want to pass on similar traditions to Christie. Her life will never be like mine, but it doesn’t mean she can’t have little things.”

  “Together we can make her life shine, Raine. Together we can do this.”

  “I love the faith you suddenly have.”

  “Dealing with loss, it can help. Paige and Donnie invited us back to their place tomorrow. Is it okay for us to throw her a little party?”

  “Yes. Of course.”

  “That’s what I want to do.”

  “I’m more than happy with that.”

  Luiz had the urge to kiss her again, so he did. They were making progress. Small steps. He didn’t need to rush anything.

  They had the rest of their lives.

  ****

  “This cake is so beautiful,” Paige said. “Would you do something like it for Petal?”

  “Erm, sure.”

  Raine slid the cake inside the refrigerator. Christie was out in the back yard, running around with several kids that she didn’t even recognize.

  “We called some of the other women in The Family. The ones that wish to make a change. I hope that is okay?” Paige asked.

  “I don’t mind. I just want Christie to have a good time. This is the first time she’s been able to have her father with her all day.”

  Christie had loved the princess dress Raine had brought her, and refused to do anything until she had it on.

  Luiz got a load of toys, and promised a special vacation for Christmas.

  Looking out of the kitchen window, she saw Christie still had Luiz’s hand, and was making him dance around all the kids. Tonio was there doing the same.

  “Your house is lovely.”

  “This was Donnie’s parents’ house. We’ve been redecorating, and wiping their memories from the place.”

  “Didn’t you have your own place?”

  “We did. There’s a reason this place was the headquarters though for dealing with The Family. It holds many secrets.”

  “You’re happy about that?”

  “I knew what I was signing up for when I went with Donnie. In the beginning, I didn’t want anything to do with him though. I tried to stay clear of him.”

  “They were step-siblings,” Zara said.

  “My mom decided to marry Donnie’s dad. To cut a long story short, they’re both dead, and I’m now married to Donnie. My dad was a soldier of The Family. I never knew all the real connections until Donnie took over. He tells me the truth,” Paige said.

  Raine looked at Paige, then at Zara. She had seen the other women with men who worked and fought for The Family. Some of them were just outside, enjoying the sunshine, and the scents of the grill.

  “How do you deal?” she asked.

  “Deal?” Paige and Zara asked at the same time.

  “I think Luiz wants to make it work between the three of us. How do you stay sane with the threat of constantly being attacked? Doesn’t it bother you?” she asked.

  “It bothers us. We have to go out, knowing that someone there wants to make a name for themselves, and we’re the easy target. We have a target on our backs all the time. It’s hard at times,” Zara said. “I know Tonio freaks at the thought of anything happening to me. I hope nothing ever does. You’ve got to live your life otherwise you’re going to spend the rest of your life worrying about something that may never happen.”

  Zara left the kitchen taking out another tray of burger buns.

  “I know it’s hard. I grew up in The Family, without even knowing it.” Paige smiled. “There are times I can’t sleep at night for fear of what could happen. I’ve got Petal, and another on the way.” She touched her stomach. “It would be easier to give up, I imagine. To run away, and pretend nothing bad is happening. I’m not that kind of girl. I love Donnie. Living with him, and this is easier than living without him. You’ve got to make the decision about you. Not about us.” Paige touched her arm. “I’ll always be here.”

  “You’re very open to new people,” she said.

  “There are not many friends here, Raine. Once you realize that some would take your spot easily, and would happily put a bullet in your head, you see the good and bag eggs. If you know what I mean?”

  “What am I?”

  “You’re a good egg. You’d die for your family, and you gave up your whole life for your sister’s kid. That takes a lot, don’t you think?”

  “I’ve never thought of it like that.”

  “Maybe you should. To me and Zara, you’re one of the good ones. You’ll get to meet Charlene in a moment, and little Darla.”

  “Little Darla?” Raine asked.

  “She’s Donnie’s younger sister.” Paige wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly. “I hope one day you can find some trust in me.”

  Paige moved away and headed outside.

  Raine released a sigh, and watched everyone enjoying the party. There were people she didn’t know, didn’t trust. Luiz, he looked happy, even if he was carrying a gun. Rubbing at her temples, she moved away from the window, and gasped when she fell against a hard chest.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, looking up into a scarred face. She had seen him at the apartment block.

  “It’s
okay, Miss Raine. You should be outside enjoying the party.”

  “Do I know you?” she asked.

  “I helped you with your groceries the other day.”

  “You did. Thank you.”

  “I’m the security detail at the apartment building, and I wanted to promise you that I will do everything in my power to make sure you and Christie are protected.”

  “Thank you, Mr.…”

  “It’s Reese, Miss.”

  “Please call me Raine. Is Reese your first name?” she asked.

  “Yes. Reese Turner.”

  She held her hand out for him to take. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry I didn’t get your name earlier. Do you work for Luiz?”

  “I work for The Family.”

  “Oh.”

  “I work for The Family under their ruling, yes.”

  She didn’t know what the difference was. “Do you like them as bosses?”

  “Yes. Soldiers were nothing more than minions. We were considered expendable and sometimes killed just to make a statement.” He pointed at his scarred face. “This was also a statement.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “Our enemies decided to take several soldiers, and held us all for ransom. I was standing next to Donnie’s father at the time. To make a statement, he got me, and hacked my face and body, letting me fall to the floor in my own blood. If it wasn’t for Donnie, Luiz, Tonio, and Jake, I would be dead. To their fathers we meant nothing. Anyone could be a soldier, and we could all die whenever they deemed it was right.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Those four men out there, they’re making everything different. The dangers are still there, but the men are more than willing to die for them.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” she asked.

  “I overheard your conversation with Paige and with Zara. This world is hard, but you are surrounded by allies.”

  Raine understood. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. It really does.”

  Reese nodded, and left her alone.

  Heading out into the garden, she waved at Luiz and Christie. Luiz made his excuses, leaving Christie with Jake as he walked back to her. “You’ve got a smile. Are you okay? Was it something I’ve done?” he asked.

  “It was something you did a long time ago,” she said. “I spoke to one of your men, and he, erm, he put some insight into something.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I can deal with everything a lot easier. You’re doing good here. You may not see it every day, but there are men here that count on you. I bet there are women, too. They need you all.”

  “It’s why we can’t give it up, even though I wanted to.”

  “Why did you want to give it up?” she asked.

  “To make a better life for you, for Christie. I promised you something, and I don’t like failing.”

  “You’ve not failed me, Luiz. I just want you to be a good father to Christie, and to be there.”

  “I will. You’re going to help me.” He placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

  She didn’t fight him, and melted against his warmth.

  If Paige and Zara could handle this, she could. Not just for herself, or for Christie, but for the men and women who needed Luiz and his friends.

  During the afternoon, she danced with Christie, watching as Luiz’s friends teased him about his secret life. She met little Darla, who was a couple of years younger than Christie. Her parents used to have barbeques all the time, and Raine remembered enjoying them. This was no exception. She didn’t know everyone, but it seemed like family.

  Luiz made sure she stayed at his side, and even as Christie passed out with all the excitement, he didn’t let Raine miss a moment.

  If she wasn’t careful, she was going to fall in love with Luiz, and that wouldn’t be very good.

  Would it?

  ****

  “Hey, Jake,” Charlene said.

  Jake looked behind him to find who he thought was the most beautiful woman, standing behind him. She was wearing a denim skirt and white shirt. Even now, she was stunning.

  “Charlene,” he said.

  This woman had broken his heart, and he didn’t know what the hell he was doing anymore. He’d wanted to protect her, had offered her everything, and in return, he’d gotten shut down. She was a lesbian, and never wanted to be with a man. Donnie had tried to help him, even getting Paige to try to set him up with as many women as possible.

  “How have you been?” she asked.

  She locked her hands in front of her, and he saw she was nervous. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You’ve not called recently, and you seem to be avoiding me.”

  “With all due respect, Charlene, I made a fool out of myself when it came to you, and I’m not doing it again.”

  “You weren’t a fool.”

  “No? I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. I still do, and you can’t stand me.”

  “I tried to tell you many times. I want us to be friends, Jake. I don’t want you to cut me out. Please.”

  “There was never a chance, was there?”

  “No. I know what I like, and who I love. I’m moving on, and I think I’m in love,” she said.

  “At least one of us is.”

  Charlene moved toward him, and took his hand. “Please, let us be friends. I don’t want to lose you. You’ve always been there for me, and I know this is horrible to ask this, and I hate that I cause you any pain.” Tears filled her eyes, and he saw how much she was hurting because of what she was saying, and what he was clearly feeling.

  “You’re not going to.” He squeezed her hand, knowing he’d rather be her friend than lose her.

  Chapter Eight

  “Do you know who organized the hit?” Luiz asked.

  Donnie finally had the information that he’d been waiting nearly a month for. One month and Luiz still hadn’t avenged his friend’s death. Every week Raine asked if he knew more. “Everything is in there, Luiz.”

  “Is it someone we know?” he asked.

  “No. This is a new player. Francis Bracken. Ever heard of him?”

  Luiz took the file and flicked it open. The picture showed a businessman, and according to his stats, he was well over six feet.

  “No, I’ve not. Have you?”

  He looked at Donnie, and watched as his friend nodded. “Yes, I remember him. He was once a soldier to my father.”

  “Oh.”

  “Why do I feel you’re about to tell me a story I’m not going to like?”

  “Bracken was the head of security for my father, Luiz. He was the best of the best. Knew his weapons, and how to defend our family if in the event of an attack.” Donnie got up from his seat and rounded the desk. “The men who joined to become part of our security, joined to train with Bracken. His very name commanded respect, and people he’d never known, gave it to him. He was a good man.”

  “What happened?” Jake asked.

  They were all there to hear about their next enemy. Donnie sighed. “My father was jealous. Not only was Bracken good with everyone in The Family, but my mother and brother adored him. He could do everything. Slay our enemies, and make pancakes. So my father decided that he was … a waste of space. It was time to show that a soldier is just a soldier.”

  “This is not going to be good,” Tonio said.

  “It’s not. My father, during a live feed, had Bracken tortured, raped, and beaten, and left him to rot in the streets. No one heard from him again, and another man took his place.”

  “This is the guy who ordered the death of my family?”

  “Luiz, Xander was one of the men who took part in the beating.”

  “No. No. Xander was a lot of things, but he wouldn’t have done that.”

  “Not long after Bracken was taken care of, Xander was next. Think about it, who do you think they were after? The men who attacked that house
were after Xander, I’m telling you,” Donnie said.

  “Can anyone else say that the plot is constantly thickening?” Tonio asked.

  “What the hell do you want me to do with this?” Luiz asked.

  “There has been no attack on any Family members that didn’t have anything to do with that. The only soldiers that have gone missing are the ones that helped to hurt Bracken. I think I need to arrange a meet,” Donnie said. “He could be an ally.”

  Luiz shook his head. “No. One of those men was hurting Raine. He killed Xander, and he was a good man.”

  “Not always,” Donnie said.

  “Think about it, Luiz. You have to see sense right now,” Jake said.

  “Anyone connected to The Family has had to do things they’re not proud of. We all have,” Tonio said.

  Luiz felt sick to his stomach. Xander had been his friend. He had trusted him.

  “I can’t. No. You’re not going to do this, Donnie.”

  Donnie shrugged. “It’s the next step I think we should take. We’re nothing like our fathers, and reaching out, we can make our lives easier. The Family is not about being closed off, accepting only deals in flesh and blood. It’s something more than that.”

  Luiz was shaking with anger. “I promised Raine that I would deal with the man who killed Xander.”

  “You killed them,” Jake said. “Job done.”

  “They were minions, Jake. I can’t believe you are wanting me to agree to this. Xander was my friend. I trusted him not only with my life or with Raine’s. I trusted him with Christie’s life. He wouldn’t do anything so vile.”

  “He wasn’t being held at gunpoint, Luiz. You need to consider this, but I understand this is hard for you. We’re here when you change your mind,” Donnie said.

  Luiz stared at the file, and then at his friends. It couldn’t be true. He wouldn’t accept this kind of shit. It was wrong, all of it.

  Storming out of his friend’s office, he left Donnie’s house, and got into his car. He didn’t even think of where he was heading until he was at the edge of the forest. There were several people around, hikers and explorers. He parked the car, grabbed the file, and headed down the long path. The only place for him to think was to be surrounded by nature, so that he could have some time to focus on the revelations.