Learning to Forgive Read online

  Stroking her knuckles, he darted a glance toward her. “You have no idea how much I’ve loved you all these years. I’d give anything to go back and tell you to your face.”

  “You never needed to be jealous of your boys, David. I loved you the most.”

  David chuckled. “I think we need to get your ankle looked at.”

  “I don’t want to move yet. It is still warm.”

  “What are you afraid of?” he asked.

  “Nothing.”

  He sensed her hiding something. “What is it?”

  “If we move then this moment is lost. We’ve had so many moments over the years, David, where our time has been lost. I can’t do that anymore.”

  “Name another occasion when we’ve lost time,” he said.

  “When you went to Vegas. Even over the phone I thought we were connecting. Were we connecting, or was that just me?” she asked.

  He sighed. Vegas had been a complete bust. “We were connecting. Do you think you’re ready to let me explain that incident?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Good.”

  David explained everything. He told her about going to the elevator and his friends stopping him from going to their floor. The stripper was mentioned briefly. “Malcolm helped me out, and I told my friends that you’re my wife. If they didn’t like it, they could go to hell.”

  “You said that for me?” she asked.

  “Yes. I loved you, Molly. I’m fucking stupid at times and didn’t see it.”

  “We’ve lost so much time together,” she said.

  He turned to see tears spilling down her cheeks. Without waiting, he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Please, don’t cry. I can’t bear it when you cry.”

  “I can’t help it. We’ve wasted so much time, David.”

  “I know, and it’s my fault. I’m not letting you go again.” He closed his eyes taking deep breaths. “I’ve got another revelation to add to my shame.”

  She pulled away, looking at him.

  “I told Malcolm to tell you that my angina was worse than it actually was. I didn’t want you to try to leave me.”

  “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I love you, David.” Her arms wrapped around him, and she kissed his lips.

  Closing his eyes, David felt his own tears begin to fall. Life had been cruel to them. At least he had time to make it up to her.

  “I love you, too, Molly. I told you every night when you were sleeping.”

  “What?” she asked, pulling at him as if to move away. He couldn’t let her leave. Her softness meant a great deal to him.

  “When you were asleep in my arms, I’d tell you how much I loved you. I never wanted to hurt you. I can’t believe I spent all this time living a lie.”

  “Don’t think about it. We’ve still got each other.”

  “We lost years, Molly.”

  “But we were still together, even if we were miserable at times.” She chuckled. “Most married people have a hard time.”

  He stroked her cheek, pushing the hair off her face. “No more, I don’t want to lose you again.”

  “You’re not going to lose me. I was never gone.”

  They stayed together on the small hill watching over the fields. “We’ve got to go now, haven’t we?” she asked.

  “Yes. I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.”

  David helped her down the hill to their house. When they were inside, he called the local doctor to make a home visit. While they were waiting, he ordered some take-out and made her a cup of tea.

  “I never knew you could be so domestic,” she said, when he handed her a cup.

  “Neither did I.”

  They laughed. The doctor assessed her ankle and diagnosed a sprain. He recommended plenty of rest and handed some pain-killers to numb the pain. “Thank you, doctor,” David said as he saw the doctor out.

  “If you don’t mind me asking, are you newlyweds?”

  David laughed. “No, we’ve been together twenty-five years, son.”

  “Then I hope my marriage is as happy as yours.”

  He watched the younger man disappear then went back inside to see his wife. “So, what do you think we should do for Christmas this year?” he asked.

  “Christmas? That’s a bit early, isn’t it?”

  “Not to me. I don’t want us to have it at any of the houses. I think we should find a new place,” he said.

  “David, not all the kids are going to fit here. I don’t want a new place.” Molly snuggled up against him. He stroked her hair enjoying the feel of her against him.

  “Both of our homes are tainted with her memory and our bad ones.”

  “They are our homes, David. I wouldn’t want to start making new memories. We can make our own memories to replace the ones she created.”

  “I love you.”

  “Are you going to keep saying that to make it up to me?”

  “Yes. Do you have a problem?” he asked, smiling down at her.

  “Nope. I like it.”

  He chuckled. Life was indeed going to be brilliant.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Life got back to normal, or at least it got better than normal. Once her ankle repaired itself from the damage she’d caused it, they began exploring the town around their new cottage. Molly fell in love with everything. David was by her side. In all of their years she’d felt alone. Talking had helped to mend the walls that had built up between them. She couldn’t imagine life without him.

  John and Luke didn’t approve. They thought he would revert back to his old ways. She shushed them up whenever they started saying bad things about their dad. Children never really understood what was happening in life. She accepted that and was able to move on. Blaze and Cassie came around to see them. Molly loved spending time with her grandchild and hoped to have more running around. It would be a special occasion for her.

  As the weeks passed, they moved back into their old home. Together they removed the pictures of Isabella and placed their own memories on the walls. There was one picture that Molly had kept from being destroyed. It was the picture of Blaze, Isabella, and Chris.

  “Why do you have that?” David asked when she presented him with the newly-framed photo.

  “Because it is a good memory.”

  “It was a false memory.”

  “I’ve talked to Blaze and to Chris. This picture is a good memory for them. You can’t wipe them all out.”

  She danced the photo in front of his face knowing he’d give in. “Fine, put it up.”

  Molly moved over to the mantle and placed the framed photo on top in the centre next to their wedding photo. “Why have you put it there?” he asked, coming up behind her.

  “Because it is a memory worth having. I love seeing the happiness on their faces. She may have been faking it, but they deserve to know she cared at some point.” She leaned against him with a moan. “Have you talked to Chris and Blaze?”

  “No, they’ve been really busy.”

  “I know, Trent is helping Elizabeth. Did you know that girl doesn’t know how to read or write?” Molly asked, staring at the family photos.

  “Trent has told me a little. Her family is nothing like ours.”

  “She deserves some loving. I can’t believe she made her sister leave and stayed behind. She’s such a brave woman.”

  “Trent will take care of her. He’s always had a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

  Molly also knew what else Trent had a soft spot for, but she wouldn’t be telling his father about his secret. His sexuality was his own business. She just hoped he was happy with whatever he was doing.

  “Chris and Erica want to have Christmas at their house this year,” David said, against her neck.

  “What do you want to do?” Molly knew he hated going away for Christmas.

  “I think we should do it. A new Christmas tradition would be wonderful. All the family together but in Chris’s house.”

  She laug
hed. “He’d have to clean up the mess?”

  “Exactly. We can leave whenever we want to.”

  “You’re a bad man,” she said.

  “The best.”

  He leaned down kissing her lips.

  “We’d better get ready to go out.” She kissed him one final time then pulled out of his arms.

  “Where are we going?” he asked.

  “It is a surprise.”

  Molly helped him into his jacket, then his gloves and scarf while she did the same. It was getting colder every day. She took his hand, and they left the house hand in hand. Her nerves were getting the better of her, making the cold seem unbearably chilly.

  “I don’t know what you’ve got planned, Mrs. Sinclair, but I’m intrigued.”

  She laughed.

  “So, what do you think we should buy them this year?” she asked.

  “I have no idea. Chris and Erica are happy. Blaze and Cassie are happy. John and Luke are happy that you’re finally happy. Trent is doing what he does best. Maybe this will be a cheap Christmas,” he said.

  She tapped him on the arm. “Maybe you don’t need to tell Blaze and Chris about their mother,” she said.

  “Why? Trent knows about her.”

  “But Trent never had a happy memory with her. I think you should leave that memory in the past.”

  David stopped as she approached the graveyard. She stared up at him. “I don’t need to be here, Molly.”

  “Yes, you do. I know you haven’t come since that day all those years ago.”

  “I have nothing to say to her.”

  He made to pull out of her arms. Molly stopped him. “No, you need to forgive her, David.”

  “How? She ruined everything.”

  “No, she didn’t. She did the best with what she knew. She’s not perfect, and neither are we. Forgive her, and let it all go.”

  He cupped her cheek. Through the gloves she felt his warmth seeping into her skin.

  “After all this time you’d be willing to let me forgive her?”

  “I love you, David. What she did back then is not going to change the life we lead. We’ve come a long way. Let her go and be happy without any of this anger inside you.”

  He was silent for several moments looking from the gate to her. “Are you sure about this?”

  “Yes.”

  She leaned up and kissed his lips.

  “Will you wait for me?”

  “I’ll be sat on the bench over there.” She pointed in the direction of the gate.

  “Okay.” Together they walked inside the grounds. She gave his hand a squeeze then sat down on the bench waiting for him. He didn’t move for several moments. She saw the fight inside him and hoped he could finally let his anger go. No one deserved to be in that much pain. Rubbing her hands together, Molly watched as he took the first step, then the next until he was stood in front of Isabella’s grave stone.

  Tears filled her eyes at the pain in his face. She knew without a doubt that he loved her,. He’d spent the last few months proving to her how much he loved her. Isabella was still a part of his life even if he’d never loved his first wife. He deserved this happiness that forgiveness would give him. So did Isabella as well.

  ****

  David wanted to run for it. He’d never been so scared before in his life. Since the day he had seen Trent and Molly visit Isabella, he hadn’t set foot inside the cemetery. He glanced over toward Molly then took a step and another. When he was stood staring at her name, he froze. What could he say to her?

  There was nothing inside him. No pain, no anger, nothing. Weeds had gathered around the stone. He bent down moving them out of the way. “Molly wanted me to come here and forgive you. I don’t know if I have that in me to do. I think about all of our fighting and wonder if it was worth it. Did you get what you wanted out of the fighting and the pain?”

  He stopped, standing up to look over to where Molly sat. “I made her life hell. I never should have. She didn’t deserve everything I said to her and did.” With each word he spoke, David began to feel lighter. There was no bitterness or anger. Usually when he thought about Isabella, he felt so much emotion that it threatened to destroy him. Yet now he stood in front of her and felt nothing.

  “I know you didn’t want my children, but you’d have been proud of them. All three of them are good boys. Molly did a wonderful job of raising them, and I’m going to think you’d want them to have a good life. There were times we were together where you were not cold and heartless.” He touched the stone, closed his eyes, and suddenly felt free.

  “I never thought I’d say this. I forgive you, Isabella. I hope you can rest in peace knowing your sons were taken care of. I’m sorry I could never give you what you wanted. I hope you’ve found peace wherever you are now.”

  David walked away toward Molly.

  “How do you feel?” she asked.

  “I feel good. Happy.”

  “You seem surprised.”

  “I am. I never thought I’d be this happy again.”

  “Forgiveness can be a powerful tool, David. You should consider it every once in a while.” She stood up taking his hand.

  “Now, I think you owe me lunch.”

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “I think anywhere will do.”

  David led her away from the cemetery. The love inside him was more powerful than anything he imagined.

  “You forgave me,” he said.

  “Yes, I’ve forgiven you plenty of times over the years.”

  “I don’t know how you did it. It feels good.”

  She chuckled. The sound filled him with such warmth. The rest of the day he spent with Molly as they walked around the streets picking up gifts for their children. He’d never been with her like this, and he enjoyed every second of their time together.

  For many hours they sat contemplating how their lives were going to go. When they finally got home, David watched as she put the decorations up around their house. They were only putting up a few baubles as they were driving down to Chris and Erica’s at the weekend.

  David wished he knew what the future held for their boys. He wanted them to find as much happiness as he had gotten. They were curled in front of the roaring fire with a cup of hot cocoa.

  “Do you think Trent will be sweet on this girl?” he asked.

  He felt Molly freeze by him. “I think Trent will surprise you along the way. Please, if he does, will you accept everything he has to say?”

  David frowned, turning toward her. “What do you know?”

  “Nothing that I’m willing to share. Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  “I promise, Molly. I love my boys no matter what.”

  “Good.”

  He sat staring at the flames thinking about another fire and another Christmas many years ago.

  ****

  Fifteen years ago

  “Are the children in bed?” Molly asked as he walked into the sitting room. Christmas day had come and gone. All three boys had been exhausted. It was one of the few Christmases that David enjoyed. Molly had taken them all by storm with a stand-up dinner with lots of treats to keep them warmed up. She stood in front of the roaring fire, wearing the red robe he’d bought for her.

  He wondered if she was wearing everything he’d bought for her.

  “They’re asleep and out for the count.”

  She nodded her head. “Merry Christmas, David.”

  “Merry Christmas.” He moved closer seeing the pulse at the base of her throat pound in her neck. “You’re nervous.”

  “I’m not nervous.”

  “You know, you never got me a present this year,” he said, stopping when he stood in front of her.

  “That’s because I’m here for you to unwrap.” She licked her lips looking every bit as cute as she did sexy.

  “You’re my present?” he asked.

  “Yes, do you want to unwrap me?”

  “Nothing would give me
more pleasure.” He opened the sash holding the robe together. It fell open revealing a beautiful red corset that pushed her breasts up and pulled in at the waist.

  His cock went instantly hard. He’d never seen anything so beautiful. The corset attached to a pair of stockings, and she wore the smallest pair of knickers he’d ever seen.

  “Is this all mine?” he asked, teasing a nipple.

  “Yes.”

  She gasped, her head falling back onto her shoulders exposing the line of her neck. David pressed a kiss to each full mound loving the feel of them against his face. Her warm scent filled his head. Her robe fell in a heap on the floor as he cupped her waist bringing her closer.

  “You’re all mine,” he said.

  “Yes. Always.”

  He pulled her large breasts out of the bodice so they spilled over the top. “Come here,” he said, moving backwards to sit on the centre of the couch. She straddled his lap, and he took full advantage of her swinging breasts. David suckled her nipples feeling them harden at his touch. Always so responsive.

  She cried out, loving the feel of him touching her.

  “I want you, so much,” she said.

  I know what you mean,” he said.

  David sucked each of her nipples until they were hard peaks. He couldn’t bring himself to remove her corset. He unzipped his jeans, pulled the length of his cock out, then pressed the tip to her entrance. She cried out when he plunged inside her tight, wet cunt.

  Her fingers dug into the flesh on his shoulders. With the fire roaring in the fireplace behind her, David took her pleasure and gave his own as well. There was no stopping the passion that had ignited between them.

  He loved this woman with his whole heart. She gave him everything without expecting anything in return. For that, he would love her for the rest of his life.

  ****

  David came out of the memory with a smile. Christmas night he hadn’t gotten any sleep and neither had Molly. There had been no end to their burning passion. Even now, as they sat together, he felt a stirring in his groin.

  “You’re thinking about that Christmas all those years ago,” she said.

  “How would you know?” he asked.

  “Because I’m thinking the exact same thing.” She stared up at him blushing.