Porn Star Read online

  “What will you do?”

  “I’ve got options, and I’m going to make sure by the time I go for Sydney, I’m not going to be this person anymore.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “More than anything.” Jason smiled as he pulled his clothes back on. “You’re the best friend a man could ever ask for, Richard.”

  “I can’t leave this life yet. I love it.”

  “I’m not asking you to leave it.” Jason moved toward his friend, and pulled him in for a hug. “I’ll support you every step of the way. I’ve got enough money, and I’m comfortable with my investment. I’ve got time to do something else with my life.”

  “I love you, man,” Richard said. “Are you going to get Sydney now?”

  “No. I’m going to be the perfect man for her. Then I’m going to go and get her.”

  ****

  Sydney stares down at the piece of paper in her hands, and she wished it had said something other than she was all clean. If Jason had lied, and she had some kind of sexual disease, she could have tried to hate him just a little bit.

  The last week she’d been an emotional wreck, crying at every moment, hating life in the next. She’d escaped to the toilet at work every chance she got just so she could cry in peace without someone watching her.

  Ben had been a welcome distraction. She’d not allowed him to take her out, but he kept trying now that she was no longer with a man. He’d seen her with Jason, and had put her emotions down to finishing with him.

  “What’s the matter?” Dawn asked.

  Since she kicked her sister out, Dawn just kept coming back to her. Sydney had long lost the heart to be mad at her anymore.

  “Nothing.”

  Dawn took the piece of paper and read the words on the page. “He was clean?”

  “Yeah, he was clean, and so was I.”

  “What are you going to do?” Dawn asked.

  “Nothing. I’m not going to do anything.” Sydney picked up her purse and began closing her windows. It had become an endless routine of closing up her home before she left. “I’ve got to get to work today. That’s all I’m going to do, and then I’m going to come home, make dinner, go to bed after reading, then start the whole process again.”

  “What’s going on with you?” Dawn asked.

  “Nothing is going on with me. I’m just tired of constantly being wrong.”

  “There’s more men out there, Syd. Jason wasn’t the only man who’d love a chance to be with you.” Dawn placed the letter down on the table. “Who was that guy’s name? You know, the one who works with you?”

  “Ben?

  “Yeah, he had a thing for you. Why don’t you give him a chance?”

  “Jason was in love with me, or is in love with me, whatever the correct way of thinking is. I love him, Dawn. I’m not going to move on, and pretend to love someone else. I can’t do that.”

  “This doesn’t prove anything.” Dawn pointed at the sheet of paper. “All this proves is that he was clean.”

  “I believe what he said, Dawn. He lied about what he did, but everything else, that wasn’t lies.” She walked to her door, waiting for Dawn to follow behind her.

  “Are you coming?”

  “Yes.”

  She waited for Dawn to leave her home before locking the door. Hugging her sister, she didn’t wait around for pleasantries, and walked the distance to the shop. She needed to clear her mind, and the only way to do that was with walking.

  He’s a porn star.

  He lied about who he was.

  Did he really lie?

  Everything he said apart from being a PA could have been the truth.

  Her thoughts and questions went on and on. Her feelings, they were all real to her. She had fallen in love with Jason, and knew given the chance, she’d fall in love with him again and again.

  Ben was arriving at the shop as she was.

  “Hello,” he said.

  “Hi, Ben.”

  “How are you feeling today?”

  “I’m good. You?”

  Tricia was already in the back, taking a delivery from the local farmer.

  “I’m great. I was wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner with me tonight.”

  She was going to give him the same kind of brush off she’d been given him the past couple of weeks. Instead, she turned to look at him. “Ben, you’re a great guy, and any other time I might have jumped at the chance to have dinner with you.”

  “Another time, maybe?”

  Sydney hated being mean, but she refused to let him think he had a shot with her. There wasn’t a chance with her. She didn’t intend to stick around to be with him for long.

  “No, not another time. It’s time you started trying to find someone else. I’m in love with another man.”

  “I thought you’d broken up with him.”

  “We’re taking a break. I love Jason, and we’re getting through some problems. I can’t walk away from him.” The words were not complete lies. They hadn’t broken up, not really. She’d kicked him out of her home, and they’d not spoken in the last week.

  He’s a porn star.

  Who fucking cares?

  Staring at the dimming hope in Ben’s eyes, she smiled at him.

  “Don’t wait for me, Ben. I’m already taken.”

  And that was the truth. She had slowly come to terms with the fact that Jason was a porn star. Could she accept him as a porn star, or give him up?

  The past week had been a nightmare without him. She missed him all the time. Not a moment went by when she didn’t think about it. It was the strangest thing in the world. When she baked a new cake, she wanted to send him a picture to show what she’d done that day. So his pictures would contain his dick inside another woman.

  She closed her eyes.

  Couples in porn movies had successful relationships, or at least she’d read that some stars were married. If they could have a go at it, why couldn’t she accept Jason for what had earned him a living? They were all good at something. She was good at baking, Dawn was hot at taxes, and Jason was good at turning people on for a living.

  She had to make it work, as otherwise she was going to be more miserable without him.

  Getting into work, she resolved herself to finally go and talk to him. She had to. This misery had to come to an end.

  Chapter Ten

  Jason had finished the business call to invest in a new, up and coming company that wanted to change the way the adult business was seen. They were going to take porn by storm in the hope of bringing in more of a female market. Erotica was really storming the world, and more women were hoping to find romance with a steamy edge, that wasn’t all about the blessed cum shot, and more about the couples in general.

  He still played the stock markets, and got a lovely profit every year to keep him comfortable. Once Jason sat down and really started to assess his financial situation, he’d seen that he’d not needed to spend the last ten years in front of a camera. He’d not spent his time blowing each of his paychecks on expensive clothes or wine. Jason had always been planning for a rainy day.

  His website was still earning money. However, he’d posted that Bone Harder had decided to leave the industry behind to pursue other avenues.

  Everything was coming together in his life. The only thing that remained was Sydney. He’d gone to the shop several times, and he’d looked through the window to see her working. Not once had he gotten the courage to actually enter. Rejection had never been a problem to him until now. He feared her screaming at him to leave.

  Running a hand down his face, he made his way into the kitchen and put the kettle on. He was reaching for a cup when someone knocked at his door.

  Leaving the kitchen, he went to answer, and was shocked to find Dawn waiting for him.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  “I come in peace.” She held her hand up in surrender and winced. “And really bad alien film slogans as well.”

&nb
sp; “You’re not an alien life force.” He leaned against the door.

  “I don’t know. But sisters going crazy doesn’t seem to be a theme. I checked.”

  “Then you’re just one of a kind.”

  He moved away, giving her a chance to enter his space.

  She stepped inside and turned to him. “I’m really sorry.”

  “I don’t know why you’ve come he—”

  “I saw the post you made a couple of days ago. I’ve been around Sydney, and I saw that post, and I talked to Richard. You’re both miserable.”

  “So?”

  “So, I think it’s time I came to have a talk with you,” she said. “Sydney loves you.”

  “I love her as well.”

  “You left the industry behind. Why?”

  “I love her a hell of a lot more than I ever loved my job.” He moved toward the kitchen. “Do you want a drink?”

  “I’m hotheaded, and a bitch,” Dawn said, following him. “Syd, she’s my little sister, and I love her. She’s the world to me, and her crazy ass baking.” She chuckled. “I was worried about her, and I thought you were playing her.”

  “I wouldn’t do that to any woman.”

  “I know that now. I’m not a great judge of character it would seem.”

  “Why are you here?” he asked.

  “Go to her, please. Go and talk to her, see her. Do whatever it is that you do to make her happy again. I can’t stand to see my sister sad anymore. She’s a wonderful woman, and I hate the fact I did that to her.”

  “You’d accept me in her life?” Jason lowered the spoon that he’d been using to put sugar into the cup.

  “Yes. Don’t get me wrong. I was a little freaked out that I’d seen your dick, and you fucking a lot of different woman, and I’d even experienced an orgasm while watching you.” Dawn went bright red as she looked at him. “There you go. I can handle that if you can.”

  “I love Sydney. I’m changing who I am for her, and I’m going to love her for the rest of my life, I promise you.”

  Dawn crossed the distance and hugged him. “Thank you for making her so happy. I know with you she’s happy.”

  “I hope she’ll take me back.”

  “Sydney will take you back. She loves you so much.”

  Jason nodded then finished off his tea, and handed her a cup.

  “I guess this is to the future.”

  “I can’t believe I’m going to have an ex-porn star in the family.” She giggled, taking a sip of her tea. Dawn winced. “I can’t drink tea though. I prefer coffee. I’ve got to go now and get to work before my boss fires me. I always push my luck with him.” She chuckled, leaving his apartment.

  It was the strangest encounter he’d ever had with a woman.

  ****

  “How are you?” Richard asked later that day when he stopped by after work. He looked exhausted, and Jason phoned for a pizza for the two of them.

  “I purchased this,” Jason said, handing him the velvet box.

  “You’re going to ask her to marry you?”

  “I’m going to try. I’ve not actually spoken to her yet.” Jason sat down by his friend, opening the box to show the diamond ring.

  Richard whistled. “I let Dawn know where you lived.”

  “She stopped by. I think we’ll be okay with each other. She loves her sister, and that’s fair enough. I love Sydney.”

  They were both stopped from talking by the sound of a knock at the door.

  “That must be the pizza.” He handed the box to Richard then made his way toward the door. Jason opened the door without checking to see who it was.

  Sydney stood at the door with her hand raised again.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hello.” His heart pounded as he looked at the woman he loved. She was so beautiful even though she looked a little pale. “I thought you were pizza.”

  “I’ve been called a lot of things in my day, but a pizza is not one of them.” She laughed, and her cheeks heated.

  Jason wanted to reach out and touch her to know that she was real.

  “I couldn’t stay away another moment,” she said, taking him by surprise.

  He didn’t say anything.

  “I love you, Jason, and I really don’t care that you’re a porn star. I accept you whatever way you are. I love you, and I’m sorry.”

  “I lied about being a PA, but everything else, that was the truth. I swear I didn’t lie to you about anything else.”

  She rushed into his arms, and he closed his eyes, holding her close.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “I love you, too.”

  “You’d really accept me for who I am?”

  “Yes.”

  “You amaze me, baby. I quit the industry,” he said, tugging her into his apartment.

  “I think it’s time I left,” Richard said, coming to the door.

  “Take the pizza on your way out. I don’t need it.” Jason smiled at his friend and closed the door behind him.

  Jason didn’t let Sydney go as he held onto her. They moved to the sofa, and he cupped her cheek, amazed that she was back in his arms.

  “I’ve never been so miserable in my life,” she said.

  “Me neither. I love you, baby.”

  “And I love you. You don’t know how much.” She closed the distance, pressing her lips against his.

  He moaned, sliding his tongue into her mouth.

  She pressed her hand to his chest and pulled back. “I went to the doctors to get checked,” she said.

  Jason smiled. “I figured you would. You were hurt, and it was my fault.” He stroked her cheek, staring into her eyes. “You’re so damn beautiful.”

  “You’re out of the business?” she asked, clearly confused.

  “I’m out of the business. I’m investing my money, and I’m not going to be with another woman again. You’re the only one I want, and it has been that way for some time.” He pressed a kiss to her lips.

  She smiled at him. “I would have accepted what you did. I wouldn’t have asked about your day or what you did, but I’d have learned to accept you for you.”

  “God, I love you.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw the velvet box. “I know we’ve known each other a couple of weeks, but I really am in love with you, Sydney.” He picked up the box and held it up in front of him. “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  Sydney gasped and stared at the box then at him. “You’re proposing to me?”

  “Yes. I’m never going to love another woman.”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “What?”

  “I love you, and I want to marry you. I say yes. I want to marry you.” She giggled, pressing a hand to her mouth, and her eyes were wide. “I can’t believe I just giggled.”

  “Don’t be. I love that sound, and I’m going to make sure you have a hell of a lot more to be happy about.”

  He slammed his lips down on hers, happier than he’d ever been. Yes, he’d fucked up, but Sydney had given him another chance.

  ****

  “Tell me what we’re doing again?” Dawn asked, wriggling her body into the dress.

  “We’re going to the club tonight.” Sydney stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked exactly like she had that Friday when she first met Jason.

  “What about—”

  “Don’t talk about anyone or anything.” She turned to Dawn smiling.

  “I’m confused.”

  “Everything will be clear very soon.”

  The cab that Sydney had called pressed on the horn. Without waiting for Dawn to ask more questions, she closed up her house, and followed Dawn to the cab. Climbing in the back, she smoothed out her skirt, and stared out of the window.

  Dawn was chattering away about work, and the boss that drove her insane. Sydney listened even though she was more interested in what was going to happen.

  The bouncer in front of the night club gave Dawn a kiss, promising to dan
ce with her after the show.

  “Go and dance,” Sydney said, moving toward the bar.

  “You’re acting strangely,” Dawn said, shouting to be heard over the music.

  Sydney felt strange being back here, but it was what she and Jason had agreed to.

  Standing at the bar, she ordered her and Dawn’s drink then waited.

  This had been both her and Jason’s idea, to start over, to start afresh.

  The card slipped to the floor, and she bent down to retrieve it.

  “Excuse me,” she said, tapping his arm.

  “I’m not signing any autographs.”

  He remembered what he’d said to her.

  “Excuse me, I’m not after your autograph. You dropped this.”

  Jason turned to smile at her. This time there was no blonde talking to him. He turned his gaze on her, and Sydney was rooted to the spot.

  “Well, hello, beautiful.”

  “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

  “No, only the pretty ones.”

  Her cheeks heated at his intense gaze. Everything else fell away, the club, the past, and the music, so it was like they were the only two people in the world.

  “You mentioned about an autograph. Are you a star or something?”

  “No. I’m an ex-porn star. I just recently quit the business.”

  Her heart was pounding, and Sydney stared at where their fingers touched. She released the card, giving him the chance to put it away. Once he had, he caught her hand once again.

  “I’ve never met a porn star before.”

  “Ex-porn star.”

  “What was it like?”

  “It got me where I am right now. You see, I met this girl at a club, this very one in fact. She started talking to me, and when she asked what I did, I panicked. I loved the feel of her in my arms when we danced, and I was afraid if she knew the truth, she’d cut and run.”

  “Sounds like you were torn.”

  “I was. I wanted to be with her and tell her the truth. I spent the four most amazing weeks of my life with her. I fell in love, but then she found out the truth. I didn’t touch another woman. Being with her made me realize exactly what I wanted in life.”

  “I imagine she regrets kicking you out of her house. I bet it hurt her finding out that you lied, but then she realized everything else you’d ever said to her was the truth.”