... and Forever (Next Generation: Chaos Bleeds Book 1) Read online

  “I meant what I said, Simon. I want a divorce.”

  “I’m not going to grant you one.”

  “You’re being a dick.”

  Again, he smiled and approached her. Crouching down, he put his hands on her knees and looked up at her. “I love you.”

  Her jaw clenched. She looked away.

  “I don’t mind that you hate me.”

  “I want to go and see my son. Nathan hasn’t been without me since he was born. He needs me.”

  “And when we resolve whatever is going on between us, you can go.”

  She shook her head. “You can’t keep me here.”

  “I can.”

  “Do you think Devil doesn’t have a clue that you’re here? It’s Devil. He knew the moment you arrived.”

  “Did he tell you I had? Did he let you know there was a risk I was coming?” Simon asked.

  “I knew the moment I saw the footage of you at Vegas that there was a chance you were coming. Why else would you be so sloppy?”

  “I wasn’t being sloppy, Tabby. I was letting the world know I was back. I hadn’t gone far, not really.”

  “You’d gone far enough. You were never close by. You didn’t see me pregnant, nor did you know how bad the labor was. That I almost died? You didn’t know anything. The club didn’t want anything to do with him. It took Angel to allow him to even be accepted. My own mother didn’t hold my son until after…” She sobbed and shook her head.

  Gripping the back of her neck, he pressed his head to hers and tried to control his rage. “I would be there for you.”

  “He might not be yours, Simon.”

  “I don’t give a fuck. He’s mine. He will always be mine.” One look at Nathan, and he hadn’t seen Ryan. All he had to know was that he was Tabby’s, and that made the little boy’s life worth everything to him.

  He pressed a kiss to her lips even as she fought him.

  “I don’t know what other women you’ve been with. Let go of me.”

  Simon stroked her cheek. “You’re going to fight me, aren’t you?”

  “It’s not like you’re going to give me any other choice. Let me out and we can talk like civilized adults.”

  He snorted.

  Getting to his feet, he started at her back, then her hands, and finally, her feet.

  The moment she made a dash for it, he was on her, drawing her to the ground but also protecting her so she didn’t hit her head.

  When he was sure she was safe, he grabbed both of her hands and locked them by her side, his cock pressing between her thighs.

  Tabby’s curves had gotten softer, her tits larger, and fuck, he wanted her. He’d never stopped wanting her.

  “Get off me.”

  “One day soon, Tabby, you’re going to beg for me. You’re going to want me and I’m not going to do a damn thing until I hear those sweet words coming from your lips.”

  “I’m never going to ask you for anything.” She gasped as he rolled his hips, touching a part of her he had a feeling she’d been denying existed for a long time.

  “Your body remembers me. We had only just gotten started. I’m not turning my back on you, and we’re going to see where this goes.”

  He kissed her hard, sliding his tongue across her lips as he let go of her hands.

  She didn’t fight him.

  Tabby pulled him in close, just as he knew she would.

  His woman could fight him all she wanted to. The real fact was she craved his touch, and he was going to make sure she didn’t forget it. Not for a second.

  He broke the kiss first, getting to his knees and offering his hand.

  She didn’t take it.

  Still, he followed her upstairs, knowing he was going to be in a fight for his life to win her back.

  Chapter Eight

  Simon cooked.

  It had been so long since anyone had cooked for her.

  Tabitha glanced around the cabin and couldn’t help but admire the beauty of it. This would have been a perfect spot to take their honeymoon.

  They’d never had one.

  Wrapping her arms around herself, she tried not to think of all the things they should have had.

  “What are your plans then? Stalk to the shadows? Never letting your dad know you’re here?”

  “Like you said earlier, I believe my dad is very much aware of where I am, and I’m happy about that. I don’t know what he’s waiting for.”

  “Are you going to prospect for the club?” she asked. “Is this a little pit stop before you move on again?”

  He stirred the sauce in the pot. She noticed he put meat in a separate one and had split down the sauce. She wasn’t going to think of his actions as sweet. They weren’t, anyone could cook a plain tomato sauce.

  Pushing her hair off her face, she needed a bath. This was all a little too much. She missed Nathan, but she couldn’t help but enjoy being around Simon.

  Her heart raced and there were moments her body tingled. Her lips were swollen from his kisses. The pressure between her thighs was pleasant. She hadn’t experienced anything bad or scary.

  Her parents had wanted her to go to therapy to talk about what happened. Instead, she’d talked to Lacey and to Sandy. Lacey had experienced serious horrors as a child in an MC that was now annihilated, and Sandy was a doctor. Both women had told her she would know what to do to help her. Lacey didn’t go to any therapist. Tabitha didn’t want to talk about any part of what happened. Anthony saw enough to know it had been bad.

  The nightmares had stopped after a year, and she was stronger. She didn’t get scared in a room full of men.

  She had control.

  What she hadn’t experienced was sexual desire with a man. In the privacy of her bedroom, reading some dirty books, she’d enjoyed exploring her fantasies, but again, no man. With Simon, her body betrayed her.

  She wanted him.

  Craved him.

  And that scared her.

  What she wished was to stay mad at him. To make him pay for leaving her for so long.

  It was stupid, but again, nothing about this had made real sense.

  “I’m not leaving Piston County again. Unless you decide you want out of the club life forever. You were always going to be my queen. My old lady. I don’t need the club. I’ve lived without it.”

  “But it’s in your blood. You must have missed it. Isn’t that why you’re back?”

  “I’m back because it’s time. I’m ready.”

  “Great, because you’re ready, everyone else has to be.”

  “What you need to understand, Tabby, is when or if I take over from Chaos Bleeds, if Anthony or Lash haven’t made the necessary adjustments, I will be cutting all ties with The Skulls.”

  Tabitha opened and closed her mouth. “It wasn’t all of them.”

  “I know, but I want nothing to do with them. I don’t want a single association with that club. I will find a way to end them.”

  “What you’re after is wiping out the club’s existence, and this has nothing to do with me, not even a little bit.”

  “It has everything to do with you.”

  She laughed. “You could have fooled me. The entire club wasn’t there, Simon. One man. You took care of him.”

  “And I made a mistake that night.”

  “Really, you made a mistake?”

  “Yeah, I should have taken Ryan. I could have kept him alive for many months, making him pay for what he did to you. Instead, I showed him a kind death. Don’t worry, I won’t make that mistake again.”

  “So, what you want to do is go back to the old days when there was a risk of death at every turn. You know, being shot at, invaded, sent into hiding. We lived through all of that shit that our parents created.”

  “I know. Once the Monster Dogs are gone. I’m done.”

  “No,” she said. “If you want your queen by your side, then no. You will back away right now.”

  He smirked. “You’re my queen already.”

&nbs
p; “If that’s so, you will listen to me.”

  “Of course. I will listen to whatever you have to say.”

  “Damn it, Simon. Stop patronizing me.”

  He stopped stirring and moved toward the counter where she sat. His hands flat on the surface, he leaned in so he was so close it wouldn’t take much of a stretch to kiss him. His lips looked so tempting.

  Seriously, what the ever-loving fuck? Stop thinking about him and sex. It’s … not good.

  She wasn’t going to become this person. No way. No fucking way.

  Staring at him, she waited for him to say what he needed to so they could both move on.

  “When I take over as president of Chaos Bleeds, I’m going to need to talk to Lash.”

  “They will make the necessary arrangements.” She stood up, putting her hands between his and touching the tip of her nose to his. “I will not live in a prison nor will I put my son in danger.” The irony wasn’t lost on her how less than a few months ago, she wanted the old days back where death and destruction were the norm. She couldn’t go back. As a child, she’d gotten hurt, beaten in fact. The fear as gunshots rang out. She and Simon even had matching gunshot wounds for a through and through. It hadn’t killed them, but that was their reality as kids. Seeing the worry, the fear on all the adults’ faces, or even the rage. The blood. She didn’t want that. Between them, Lash and Devil had found a solution that had brought peace between the clubs. Yes, something needed to be arranged between Chaos Bleeds and the Monster Dogs but until then, she didn’t want a war.

  “If you loved me, really loved me. Where you couldn’t think about anything but me, then you will stop this path you’re on, Simon.”

  “You deserve for them not to be walking around.”

  “It wasn’t them. It was one man and you never punish the entire family for one person’s wrongdoing. It’s not all their fault.” She also had just gotten Simon back. To wipe out a club, it would change him, and she doubted it would be for the better. The men in the clubs were always holding on by a thread. The thought of anything happening to Simon, of losing what she had now, she couldn’t stand it.

  “Let me put this to one side for later. I won’t go after the Monster Dogs, and you will give me a chance.”

  “Simon, it’s not like I have a choice.”

  He smiled. “You have a choice and you know it. Stop trying to play the victim. It doesn’t suit you.” He kissed her lips.

  It was a quick kiss.

  No tongue.

  She wanted to reach out, grab him, and deepen the kiss, but instead, she sat back in her chair as he went to the stove.

  “Did you ever find a place to stay?” she asked.

  “No. There was no reason to set down any roots. Dean and I, we moved from place to place, picking up work where we needed to, or entering fights to earn money. We kept a low profile for the most part. No one knew who I was, and Dean, well, he wanted to completely remove his prissy boy look.”

  “Is that why all the ink?” she asked, pointing at him. He wore a shirt but she remembered the tattoos.

  “Pretty much. Found a couple of guys along the way who are good with needles.” He drained the pasta and then split it between each pan.

  Her mouth watered.

  Simon served them both up two generous portions. He added some garlic bread to the mix.

  “Let’s take a comfy seat.”

  Getting to her feet, she moved toward the sofa and sat down. Her body still ached from the attack, and she had a whole host of new bruises. She was pleased Nathan hadn’t seen her. He’d have been upset and she hated to see her little boy upset.

  This fight hadn’t been any fun and had in fact put in another reality to her need to fight. Not all fights would have a great outcome or allow her to walk away feeling invigorated or alive.

  Simon put his food down on the wooden coffee table and handed her a pillow to rest her bowl.

  She placed it on her lap and held the bowl of food in her hands as he lowered himself beside her.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Fine.”

  “I meant after being hit. You took a hell of a beating.”

  “It’s not the worst one I’ve been in.”

  “You mean the club allowed you to get hurt?”

  His voice deepened and she glanced at him.

  Reaching out, she put a hand on his arm. “No. I … I was on a date and afterward, we both kind of stumbled into a fighting ring. Nothing too serious. There was this woman and her opponent didn’t show. I volunteered. It was stupid of me, I know. I hadn’t really fought in such a long time.”

  “Did you win?”

  “No, it was a draw. The woman was one hell of a fighter.” She smiled, remembering the feeling.

  “You were on a date?”

  “Ah, so you heard it.”

  “I hear everything you say.”

  “Apart from the fact I hate you?” She twirled her fork in the spaghetti, enjoying every single part of this.

  “I hear you. I just don’t believe you.”

  “You’re fighting a losing battle.”

  “It’s going to be a battle I keep on fighting for.” He put some pasta into his mouth. “Always.”

  She licked her lips and picked up the garlic bread, taking a huge bite. The buttery taste exploded in her mouth, giving her a distraction.

  They ate in silence.

  With every passing second, Tabitha grew more aware of his body pressing against her. The feel of his thigh right beside hers.

  Simon finished his food first and once she had, she handed him the bowl. He took them and she stayed seated, listening to him wash the dishes.

  “Do you want me to help?”

  “Stay. Relax.”

  She looked toward the door. Had he remembered to lock it? Getting to her feet, she saw she wasn’t wearing any shoes. Simon’s back was still to her.

  She tiptoed across toward the door.

  “It’s locked,” Simon said. “You can give it a try, though. I don’t mind. See if it will budge.”

  He hadn’t even turned away from the sink.

  “You’re a smart ass.”

  “I like your resilience. One day, you’re going to realize you don’t want to leave.”

  “Why? Because you say so?”

  “No, because this is where you’re supposed to be.”

  “I have a son.”

  “I know, and you’ll get to see him soon.”

  She wrapped her arms around her body and went back to the sofa. Sitting down, she stared straight ahead.

  Waiting.

  Licking her lips, she lowered her hands and placed them on her stomach. This was the first time in a long time she’d eaten a meal and actually been full. He’d fed her and she’d accepted the food without a single thought.

  She wasn’t hungry anymore.

  Sated.

  Simon returned, carrying two large mugs.

  She stared down into the dark liquid and smelled the hot chocolate. It was a comforting smell to her. Closing her eyes, she breathed it in.

  “It’s not like Angel would make, but it’ll do the job.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she took a sip, scalding her top lip but not caring at all. It tasted so nice.

  “Don’t cry, please, don’t cry.”

  She stopped the tears. This wasn’t sadness. She didn’t know what it was, but it felt good. It felt pure, and she didn’t want the moment to end.

  Finishing her hot chocolate, she settled against the sofa.

  “Do you want to have a bath?” he asked.

  “Yes, I’d like that.” And for now, she wasn’t going to keep on fighting him. It was way too exhausting to keep it up.

  ****

  Simon sat in the bedroom.

  He’d drawn her a bath and now he sat waiting.

  She was naked.

  In the bathtub and all alone.

  He’d put in some vanilla scents that she loved. Rubbing his hands to
gether, he rested his elbows on his knees and waited.

  There was nothing wrong with being the perfect gentleman.

  You need to keep her on her toes.

  Tabby was hurting. He got it. Five years without a single word, not that he didn’t want to talk to her. There were so many times he lifted his cell phone, ready to talk to her, only to stop himself at the last number.

  She didn’t need him to constantly be calling.

  He wanted to.

  Instead, he’d kept on fighting. Turning all of his anger into the force he needed to win. It had been a long time since he’d lost any kind of fight.

  Getting to his feet, he paced the length of the bedroom, which wasn’t long enough.

  Fuck.

  He’d known for some time he’d fucked up. How he should have come to her sooner. Everything had moved by so fast and he’d simply rode until he was done with waiting.

  Stepping toward the bathroom door, he’d seen the desire in her eyes. The tightness of her nipples. She wanted him, but was also afraid. She wanted to fight and he was okay with that.

  Simon made up his mind.

  He opened the bathroom door. Tabby lay within the bubbles. Her clothes a pile on the floor. She’d bound her hair up on top of her head.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  He pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor.

  The gun he carried was in his drawers, locked in a compartment. Traveling the streets, seeing the kind of dirty shit he had, he’d learned to carry a weapon and conceal it.

  After dropping his jeans, he lowered his boxer briefs.

  He stood, letting her have her fill, allowing her to watch. His dick was rock-hard and he wasn’t ashamed of it.

  Her gaze traveled all the way down to his cock and then back up.

  He moved toward the tub and she didn’t argue with him.

  She slid forward and he climbed in behind her, opening his thighs for her to settle against him.

  “I don’t trust this submissive you,” he said.

  “Good, I wouldn’t if I was you.”

  He chuckled. Resting his hands on the edges of the tub, he felt her. Skin to skin.

  Five years, nearly six he’d been without this.

  Unable to waste a single moment, he put a hand to her stomach, stroking the delicate flesh. Nathan had been here. His son.