... and Forever (Next Generation: Chaos Bleeds Book 1) Read online

  Staring at him now, words failed her.

  Neither of them spoke.

  The kettle on the stove whizzed, breaking into the silence.

  Simon turned away.

  “Do you want a coffee?”

  “Where am I?”

  “You’re safe. That’s where you are. Coffee?”

  “I need to call Lexie.”

  “I suggest you don’t.” He pulled the kettle off the burner, turning toward her.

  “Because what you say counts now?” she asked. “It’s what I’ve got to do because you as my lord and master, I now have to follow your rules, is that it?”

  “I don’t want to fight.”

  “Neither do I.” She dropped her gaze from him. “I need to talk to Lexie.”

  “Not going to happen.”

  “Is this your attempt at kidnapping?”

  “Yes. You’re not going anywhere, Tabby.”

  “Don’t you fucking dare call me that.”

  “I’ll call you whatever I want to. You’re still mine, Tabby.”

  She burst out laughing. “Oh, I’m yours now? The big, bad man has come back to town and he thinks we’re just going to pick up where we finished. Is that it? You think you can come here and have me again?”

  “You’re mine, Tabby.”

  Staring at him, she shook her head. “I used to think I was yours. I believed in us, but you, you only take care of yourself.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “I saw the tape,” she screamed at him.

  He frowned.

  “Yeah, I saw the tape of you in Vegas. At one of Ned Walker’s fights. I’m not stupid, Simon. I know what those fights mean. I know how dangerous they are. To the death. You were in an illegal fight. The same guy who told me five years ago to wait for him because he had to get his shit together because he killed someone!”

  “I did get my shit together.”

  “By killing more people? That’s not getting your shit together. That’s living on a never-ending excuse.”

  “No, what I realized, Tabby, is that some men and women have to fucking die! They don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you.”

  Her mouth opened and she closed it. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re going to blame all of this on me now? It’s my fault you had to do what you had to do, is that it?” She pressed her lips together. “I guess it is my fault. If I hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time—”

  “Don’t.”

  “Then I guess Ryan wouldn’t have had the perfect oppo—”

  “I said fucking don’t.” Simon picked up a knife and threw it across the room. The hard blade embedded in the wood of one of the posts.

  Tabitha was nowhere near it, but she saw the violence simmering beneath the throw, waiting to erupt.

  Silence rang between them.

  She watched him, waiting.

  “What happened was not your fault. None of this was your fault, Tabby. Never ever for a single fucking second believe it.”

  Tears filled her eyes as she looked at him. “I have to call Lexie.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Yes, I do because I have to speak to my son,” she said. There was no point hiding Nathan. She couldn’t do it.

  Simon stared at her. “Your son?”

  “That’s right. My son. He’s five years old, nearly six.”

  He stumbled back as if he’d been hit. “He’s mine,” Simon said.

  It didn’t sound like a question.

  This time, Tabitha looked away, the tears she always tried to control spilling down her cheeks.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “That one time the condom broke, it was so close to … what happened.”

  “He could be Ryan’s?”

  She sniffled. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “You didn’t want to risk it?” Simon asked.

  She looked at the man she loved more than anything. Even now as she hated him with a passion, she loved him. That was what sucked the most. She loved and hated this man. Right now, hate was stronger but she couldn’t be the reason he died. It was why she’d come to Piston County.

  “I … the test to determine his paternity was too risky for me. I … I felt him move. I felt him, and I couldn’t go through with losing him. There was always a chance he was yours and I couldn’t kill a part of you.”

  “You could find out the truth,” Simon said.

  Tabitha wiped at the tears in her eyes. “And do what? Put him up for adoption? Give him to someone else?” She clenched her hands. “Nathan is my son. I took the test but … I never opened the results. You weren’t around. I couldn’t even get in touch with you. I talked to Anthony, Lash, my dad, Devil. None of them would help. We’d get random sightings.”

  She pressed her lips together. “Regardless of who his father is, I loved him, and for me, that was all that mattered. I love him. He’s my son, and I’ve been taking care of him. I have to call Lexie.”

  She stared at Simon.

  His jaw clenched.

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” she asked.

  “I’ve told you. No. My parents will take care of him.”

  She picked up the nearest object, which looked like a vase. She threw it at him. The first throw didn’t make her feel any better. Picking up item after item, she kept on throwing them at him, screaming out as she did.

  Simon dodged them and he came toward her. Turning on her heel, she rushed toward the door, but she didn’t get anywhere. He was a lot stronger than her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, spun her around, and pressed her up against the hard wood of the door.

  She slapped him hard across the face.

  He captured her hands, each one, pressing them above her head. She stared into his eyes, waiting.

  Simon didn’t let her go.

  “I hate you,” she said.

  “And I’m still in love with you.”

  “You left.”

  “And now I’m back, to stay.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t trust you.”

  “One day, I will earn that trust right back.”

  Before she could stop him, he slammed his lips down on hers. The touch was so unexpected. She hated her body’s reaction to him. He let go of her hands, his going to her back. One traveled to her ass, cupping the flesh, as the other sank into her hair, holding her in place.

  She released a little moan, wrapping her arms around him.

  Damn.

  It had been too long and yet, not enough time.

  He smelled the same, just muskier, sexier. Again, in his arms, even bigger and more muscular, he was still Simon.

  His tongue stroked across her lips and she opened up to him. He sank inside, and this made her moan again, even more desperate for more of him.

  He gave it to her.

  Both of his hands moved down, gripping her thighs, and lifted her up. Circling his waist, she melted again, but sanity soon began to flood her.

  This was Simon. Five years stood between them. Too much history.

  She pulled away, breaking the kiss. “No,” she said.

  Simon didn’t argue with her. “You’re mine, Tabby. You can go on pretending you’re not, but your body and your mind know who you belong to.”

  Her lips were swollen. “My son needs me.”

  “And our son will be taken care of.”

  Her chest tightened. He’d said our son.

  She hadn’t been wrong.

  He saw Nathan as theirs.

  As she watched him, he returned to the kitchen. “You need to eat and drink something. You’re not leaving until I’m ready.”

  “You can’t keep me here. Simon, this … it was wrong of us to even think for a second that you and I could make this work.”

  “Nothing has changed,” he said.

  “Everything has changed.”

  “Not this. Not us. We’re never go
ing to change, Tabby. We promised each other forever.”

  “Things change,” she said.

  “You’re being stubborn.” He glared at her.

  “And you’re being a pain in the ass,” she said. She didn’t like how easy this was. How normal it felt to be talking to him, even after all this time.

  He chuckled, turning to place a cup in front of her. “Drink up.”

  “Simon, come on, be serious.”

  “I am. We’ve got a lot of unresolved issues. I know you’re angry. You want to fuck my brains out and gouge out my eyes. I know which one I’d prefer more.”

  Her treacherous body certainly responded to the thought of fucking him. They had been enjoying each other, and their short-married life had been perfect. Their time in the bedroom even more so. They’d both been virgins, but fast learners as well, and they had loved exploring one another. Staring down at the coffee, she wanted to fight this. He’d been gone so long. It wasn’t fair.

  None of this was fair anymore, and she was tired of it.

  “I want a divorce.” She said the words she truly believed she was never going to say, but they had to come out.

  This with Simon, it hurt too much. She was done, and it was time to move on.

  ****

  “You do know the way to get a woman to forgive you is not to tie her up in a basement to a chair,” Dean said.

  “Noted.”

  Simon looked down the street. So far, no one was aware of his presence. He had five guys living in Piston County and they had been able to make themselves blend into the neighborhood. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his father, it was that he simply didn’t trust him. Yeah, made no sense, but he understood his thoughts.

  “You’re going to fuck this up,” Dean said.

  They had gotten closer with their time on the road. Riding from town to town, sometimes not having any money to find a nice motel or even a run-down, rat-infested building. They had become well-acquainted with the night sky, and of course thunderstorms as well.

  They’d been through a lot together. Finding hell and working their way out of it. Dean was no longer the nice little rich boy he’d been. Gone were the soft edges and easy smiles. What stood in its place was a hardened man life hadn’t been nice to. He’d seen what the hard life was all about.

  During their travels, they’d gotten hurt a time or two. Their shit stolen.

  Simon had become hard, as had Dean. It was what they did. Like his father before him, he’d managed to somehow draw people to him. Pa, Felix, Knight, Twig, and Teddy were amazing guys. They were the kind of people he could trust. In their own way, they’d become a family. He wasn’t sure exactly if this was how his father had found the club he now had, or how each member gravitated to Chaos Bleeds. Either way, it had worked. He’d always been clear to the guys that he intended to go home. Piston County was where he belonged. There were always odd moments when he truly believed he would never return home, but each time he thought of his woman, there was no doubt in his mind. She was where he was meant to be. Wherever Tabby was, he’d be. He’d already spent so much time away from her, there was just no way he’d be able to let her go.

  He wouldn’t be without them now. When he’d told them what he had to do, where he was going to go, they had followed him. No questions asked. They knew how important Tabby was to him.

  Now he had her tied up.

  “I’m not going to fuck anything up,” he said, finally answering Dean’s statement.

  “No? The girl of your dreams is locked up back at the cabin. She wants to talk to her son, which could be yours, or the rapist you killed.”

  “Enough, Dean.”

  Dean held his hands out. “It’s not good for you to hide out.”

  “I’m not hiding out. I’m simply not going to think about him. Not right now.”

  “Why don’t you just go to your dad?” Dean asked. “All this sneaking makes me feel like you’re going to strike out. Take the club from him.”

  “I’m not taking the club from him.”

  “Then what is all of this about?” Dean asked.

  Staring out of the window, he watched his father step out of the shop. His mother, Lexie, was in the doorway. A young boy with dark hair stood in front of her. Devil crouched down and gave his cheek a squeeze.

  The kid was too young to be his brother or sister. He didn’t know if any of his siblings had kids. Elizabeth would be of age, but she’d always been about studying. He stared at the boy and he just knew. This was Tabby’s baby. This was Nathan.

  Simon didn’t know what he expected, but a sudden wave of love washed over him as he looked at that boy.

  He knew from his own coloring and Ryan’s, Nathan could be either of theirs, but knowing he was Tabby’s, it did something to him.

  Devil stepped away, kissed Lexie’s cheek, and moved toward his bike.

  Did his father know he was in town?

  Devil was always two steps ahead of the game. Simon had watched him closely and he expected him to strike any minute, but he didn’t.

  “Do you want to meet him?” Dean asked.

  “My dad?”

  “No, your son. Or not your son.”

  “He’s my son,” Simon said.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “What is Tabby’s is mine. She loves him and that’s all I need to know, and I love him as well.” Simon fired up the van and pulled out from the curb.

  “Well, do you?”

  “Do I what?”

  “Want to meet him? He’s your son.”

  “Yeah, I want to meet him.”

  “Simon, I can’t help you here if you don’t talk to me.”

  “There’s not a whole lot to do right now. Make sure the boys lay low for the time being.”

  “You’re going to make this last longer?” Dean asked. “Don’t you think that’s a little stupid?”

  “My parents know Tabby’s missing. I imagine they’ll check where she lives if she’s not staying with them. It won’t be long for my dad to figure out I’m in town.”

  “You sure they’re going to naturally assume it’s you?”

  “You don’t know them like I do.”

  “Si, hate to break it to you, but five years changes a lot of people. You could be overthinking this shit. For all they know, Tabby might have run off. Had a life of her own. She’s young and she doesn’t want to be with a kid.” Dean clucked his tongue.

  Simon pulled the van to a stop near where Dean was camping out now that the cabin had Tabby inside.

  “You’re right. Five years is a long time. It can change a lot of people. You don’t know Tabby. If she was going to do that, she’d have done it already. When he was born, she’d have made sure there was no memory of her for him. I know her. She hasn’t changed.”

  “This is the same woman who wants to divorce your ass.”

  While he’d been tying her to a chair in the basement, Dean had arrived, hearing her swear at him, threatening the divorce.

  “I didn’t marry a weak woman. She’s fierce and right now, she’s hurting. I’ve just got to prove to her I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay. I’m going to love her forever.”

  Dean sighed. “You’re still as pussy-whipped as you always were. You know the guys think you’re some kind of saint?”

  “I’m not a saint.”

  “No, shit. We all know that.” Dean laughed. “I think the guys are shocked that you were never once tempted by the pussy that threw themselves at us. It was always available, and not one chick could make you stray.”

  “It doesn’t make me a saint.”

  “To men who don’t give a shit, I guess it does. Try not to get yourself killed,” Dean said, climbing out of the car.

  “I won’t die.”

  Dean closed the door and Simon waited for him to get inside his place before taking off, going to the cabin. The drive didn’t help to clear his mind. Normally, being on the road, either on a bike or in a car, had the power t
o settle his thoughts.

  Nothing was helping.

  Nathan.

  Tabby.

  Both were playing in his mind on replay. Tabby telling him she wanted a divorce and the little boy smiling up at Devil as his dad said something funny. Anthony hadn’t told him about a kid.

  That was where he’d gotten updates. Anthony had given him enough to get by but clearly not the truth.

  What had Tabby been going through?

  Arriving back at the cabin, he looked toward the door. Tabby was going to be so pissed at him. Not a day went by when he didn’t think about her. She had to understand that he tried to be a better man for her.

  Running a hand across his face, he took several deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves, but nothing was happening.

  He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to a beat inside his head. The right thing to do would be to let her go. It was what any sane person would do.

  Simon hadn’t claimed to be sane.

  He climbed out of the car and headed toward the cabin. Closing the door behind him, he went straight toward the basement.

  No sound.

  Had she gotten out?

  He’d tied her up really good. It would be next to impossible for her to get out. After flicking the switch, he walked down the stairs, taking his time.

  She still sat in the chair and glared at him across the room.

  Lowering down onto the step, he rested his elbows on his knees and looked at her. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Fuck you.”

  He smiled. “I see you’ve still got your sense of humor.”

  “I don’t see anything amusing about this. I can’t even believe I opted to come here rather than let you get killed. Next time, your ass is on the cutting block.”

  “I seriously doubt that. You came here for a reason. You’re still in love with me.”

  “I hate you.”

  “Well, there is always that fine line. At least that’s what people say.”

  “Fuck you.” She repeated the words from before.

  Simon looked at her, really stared at her, watching her as tears ran down her face.

  “I saw him,” he said. “Our son.”

  “He’s not yours.”

  “You can say that all you want, but he is mine. He will always be mine because he’s part of you.”