Ashamed (The Family #3) Read online

  Luiz’s hands fisted at his side. He didn’t want to hear any more apologies.

  “Why did you have some of Rafael’s men?” Tonio asked.

  “They were good men. They had served a man they didn’t respect, and wished to make amends. I’m not above that.”

  “So long as you kill those that hurt you?” Luiz asked.

  “I don’t anticipate you agreeing with me. I know who Xander was to you. If there was any other way, I’d have wanted it to be different. He should have known that I was coming for him.”

  “How could he have known?” Luiz asked.

  “Because he told me he’d wait for me to exact my revenge after he helped me.”

  They all paused.

  “Wait, you’re saying Xander helped you, and yet you killed him?”

  “He told me to come after him, Luiz. Xander and I, we had an agreement. If he helped me, then I had to do something for him. Tit for tat. You know how it is. He said that when the time came, he would let me know what he wanted. Xander craved death more than anything. This was what he wanted. The Family, the only way to get out is with death.” Bracken reached back, and handed him a piece of paper.

  Luiz took it, and right there was the evidence.

  “He wanted to die, Luiz,” Bracken said. “Always had, but he wasn’t the kind of man to point the gun at his own head. He needed someone to do that, and to pull the trigger.”

  Xander had done what he needed to do, and wanted Bracken to exact his revenge. His good friend had wanted to die, and begged for it. Luiz had been too preoccupied to even notice.

  This changed everything.

  Chapter Eleven

  “We’re supposed to believe this?” Raine asked later that night, dropping the email onto the coffee table. Christie was sitting at the table doing her homework.

  Sitting down next to her, Luiz pulled her into his arms. “We have no choice but to believe it. This is what Xander wanted. He’d done what he needed to do.”

  “And what was that?” she asked.

  “I don’t know if you’re going to like this.”

  “Try me.”

  “He set me and you up. It’s what he wanted me to realize.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “I have feelings for you. I love you, Raine. I have for a long time, and Xander knew it. He was trying to get me to realize it myself, and of course, I did. He never told me something I didn’t earn. He wanted me to earn the right to tell you that I love you.”

  He looked into her brown eyes, and saw that he had shocked her.

  “You love me?”

  “Yes, can you ever doubt it?”

  She nodded. “I thought you put up with me. I’d hoped that you could one day fall for me like we talked about the other day.”

  “I’ve loved you long before now, Raine. Maybe even from the moment I saw you holding Christie, protecting her. How could I not love you? You’d give your life for me, and I would do the same for you.” He cupped her face, and swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I really don’t want to fuck this up.”

  She chuckled. “You won’t.”

  “I’m not good with sweet words. I never grew up with having to learn to say something nice.” He felt his own tears start to build inside him. Tears were a weakness, and he wasn’t allowed to show any kind of weakness. He’d been beaten black and blue, tortured by his own father to learn there was no excuse for giving up. “I’ve got a past that I don’t like. I wish you were never tainted by that shit, I swear.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’m not a good man. I’m a fucking monster. I’ve killed men and women, and I’ve done it for no other reason than I’ve been told to. I’m asking, no, I’m begging, please, Raine, don’t leave me. Stay, give us a chance, and I know I can make you the happiest woman alive. I swear.” Tears ran down her cheeks, and he wiped them away. “Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.”

  “I never thought you’d tell me that you loved me.” She smiled even as she cried. “I love you too. It’s probably wrong, and I’m going to hell, but Lora told me to take care of you as well. She said that she would accept anything that happened between us.”

  Lora knew him even if he didn’t know himself. She’d seen that he craved a life away from The Family, for someone to accept him for who he was but not to hold it against him.

  “If you come home covered in blood, I will do what you need me to do with your clothes. I will wash you down, and be here if you need to talk. If you just want to hold me, I’ll be here for that, and so much more. All you’ve got to do is ask.”

  “Thank you, baby.” He took her lips again, sliding his tongue inside, and she melted against him. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

  Raine didn’t fight him as he led them into their room. He closed the door, and turned toward her.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Will you prove it?”

  The smile that danced on her lips gave him so much hope. There wasn’t a chance in hell that he was ever going to let her go.

  “What would you like me to do?” she asked.

  He went to his drawers, and removed a blindfold. Holding it up, he let her see.

  “You’re into kink?” she asked.

  “No, not at all. What I like is the chance to explore my woman, and with her to give herself completely over to me by wearing this. You don’t take it off, and you listen to every single instruction I give you.”

  She ran her thumb across the fabric, and took a deep breath. Presenting him with her back, she nodded. “Yes, I trust you.”

  Luiz’s cock was so hard at how willing she was to belong to him. He’d give her everything. All she needed to do was ask.

  He placed the blindfold over her eyes dropping a kiss to her neck. “Thank you.” Ever since he’d learned the truth about his friend, he’d been worried about telling Raine. They all knew Xander for the man he had become, not the man he was when he’d been ordered to do something awful. That was how they were going to remember him.

  “Are you going to make this worth my while?” she asked.

  “Yes.” Running his hands down her front, he cupped her large tits, running his thumbs across the beaded nipples. She still had her clothes on, but he knew her body. She wanted him. “I bet your pussy is soaking wet.”

  Pushing his hand down the front of her jeans, he slid his fingers inside her panties, and touched her soaking wet slit. She was drenched. Thrusting two fingers inside her, he felt how tight she was, how hot and how desperate. “Do you want me to lick this sweet pussy?”

  “Luiz, please.”

  “Who do you love?” he asked.

  “You, Luiz. Always you.”

  He couldn’t believe that by almost losing her, he finally realized how much he loved her. It was a love that had been growing for seven years, not instant. She’d been the light in his life, the love that he wanted to protect.

  Pulling his hands from her pants, he licked his fingers with a moan. “So tasty.”

  “Luiz?”

  He didn’t answer. Rounding her body, he started to remove her clothes, revealing her naked body to him.

  “You’re so beautiful.” Throwing the clothes in a pile, he removed every single layer until she stood naked before him.

  “What about you?” she asked.

  He moved behind her, and pressed every inch of his body against her back. “I’m already naked.” It never took him long to get naked. He wanted her.

  Wrapping his arm around her middle, he moved her toward the edge of the bed. He made sure she was sitting comfortably before sinking to his knees. Tilting her back until she was lying spread open, he stared down at her juicy cunt.

  “Raine, I’m going to want those kids,” he said.

  “I want them as well, and a nice house with a garden for them to play in.”

  “That’s what I want as well.” Opening the lips of her pussy, he stared at her swollen clit. Her cunt was so sli
ck. Sliding his tongue from her entrance up to her clit, he rounded the delicate nub, and moved down to suck her clit into his mouth.

  She was perfect for him.

  She tasted amazing.

  Sliding his tongue down to her entrance, he plunged his tongue inside.

  “Yes … please … Luiz.”

  “I’ve got you, baby. You don’t have to worry.” He grabbed her ass and ate her pussy. Luiz licked, sucked, and swallowed down her sweet cream. Running his hands up her body, he cupped her huge tits, pinching the large nipples, and giving them a little twist.

  She cried out his name, and loved hearing her sounds. Eating her pussy, he focused on her clit, and after a few seconds, she called his name as her body was thrown into orgasm. He loved the sounds, and was thankful he had thick walls so they couldn’t be heard.

  She rode his face, and he continued to lick her pussy, refusing to release her until she hurtled into a second orgasm.

  “No. No more.” Seconds passed, and her demands changed. “Please, don’t stop.”

  Flicking her clit, he felt her body go into a third orgasm, and he smiled against her pussy. She just couldn’t resist him, and that was a damn good feeling.

  Licking her pussy one final time, he got to his feet, taking her hand. Climbing on the bed, he moved her so that she was straddling his hips. Grabbing a condom, he tore into the packet, and rolled it over his dick. “I want to be inside you bare one day soon,” he said.

  “Yes. Can I take the blindfold off?” she asked.

  He slapped her hands away. “Not until I’m ready.”

  With his cock covered with the condom, he eased her over his cock, and they both moaned as he slid inside her. She was still incredibly tight. Her cream made it easy for him to slide deep inside her until he was seated to the hilt.

  Leaning forward, he took one of her nipples, unable to deny himself the taste of her. Placing his hands on her hips, he started to move her so that she rode his cock. He held her tightly, staring at her body, and watching as his cock drove inside her.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said. “Have I told you that recently?”

  “Every single day. I love you, Luiz.”

  “I love you, too, baby, and I’m going to make you so damn happy.”

  Driving deep inside her pussy, he fucked her hard. When he couldn’t take anymore, he flipped them on the bed so that he was the one on top. She let out a little squeal, laughing as he remained inside her.

  When he could no longer stand to not look into her eyes, he removed the blindfold, taking possession of her lips.

  “I love you,” he said, and kept on kissing her.

  “I’m never going to get tired of hearing that.”

  He thrust inside her, filling her pussy, and riding her even harder.

  “Touch yourself. I want to feel you coming around my dick. Give it to me, baby. Let me feel how hot you are.”

  Raine slid her fingers between them, and even as he rode her pussy, he felt the moment she touched her clit. Her cunt tightened around him, and he rode her harder. His own arousal was building, and at the same time that Raine started to come, he found his own release, flooding the condom.

  She belonged to him, and that was the way it was going to stay.

  ****

  “Are you sure you’re going to be able to handle this?” Luiz asked as they drove in to Tonio’s driveway. It was a Saturday, and they were going to enjoy the last of the sunshine as there was starting to get a chill in the air. Christie was sitting in the back, really excited to be hanging out with some of her friends.

  “I can handle this. Don’t expect me to talk to him though. I don’t want to deal with that. I still can’t believe you agreed to this.”

  “It will be good for The Family.”

  “Have there been any attacks?” she asked.

  “Not recently. We’ve upped our security, and are implementing new ways.”

  She nodded. Over the past couple of days Luiz had been attentive, and even though she believed his feelings for her, she couldn’t help but feel a little lost. The man who had ordered their friend’s death was going to be paying a visit, and she didn’t know how she felt about that.

  Her love for Luiz was true, and there was no denying her feelings. She loved him, and there was nothing she could do about that. Every time he came into her life, he always took a little part of her with him.

  “We can head back home. I don’t mind. This is asking a lot.”

  “It’s fine. I want to hang out with the girls, and it’s good for Christie. You love hanging out with everyone, don’t you, sweetie?”

  “Yes! Zara makes the best pizza in the world. She told me she even did one with lots of chocolate and caramel sauce. I can’t wait.”

  Raine laughed.

  “Are you sure?” Luiz asked.

  “Yeah, I’m sure.” She had every intention of ignoring him.

  She wasn’t going there to meet Bracken, or to have anything to do with him. The last thing she cared about was having any dealings with Bracken. Xander had told her she needed to learn to live her life, and that was exactly what she was doing. She was going to live her life, and forget about all the crazy shit with The Family. When Luiz needed her support, she would give it to him.

  Carrying the wrapped carrot cake, she climbed out of the car, and opened up Christie’s door. Taking her hand, Raine watched as Luiz took her other, and they made their way toward the front door.

  Tonio answered with George on his hip, and hugged his friend. “It’s so good of you guys to come.”

  “Hey, Christie,” Darla said.

  Before long, they were out in the backyard. Raine had a glass of wine, which Paige handed to her.

  “Thank you.”

  “How are things with you and Luiz?” Zara asked.

  “It’s good.” Raine took a sip of her wine. “He told me that he loved me.”

  Paige and Zara smiled.

  Zara spoke first. “How do you feel?”

  “Good. Happy. Good.”

  “We know about Bracken,” Paige said. “I asked Donnie what he thought, and he said that he couldn’t find fault with him. He’s a good man, Raine.”

  “So was Xander. We have to deal with the problems thrown our way, and this is just another big problem, and I’ll get over it. There’s nothing else I can do.” She sipped at her wine, and watched as her man talked with his friends. She noticed Charlene was sitting on the ground with the kids, building sandcastles.

  “It’s such a shame she doesn’t want Jake, you know. He’d be so good to her,” Zara said.

  Jake still looked at Charlene with such longing. It was a shame to see, but they hoped he’d find someone else.

  The sound of the door going again made Raine tense. Zara placed a hand on her arm, and she knew without a doubt that Bracken was going to be there.

  Tonio and Zara both left. “Are you okay?” Paige asked.

  “Peachy. I need to use the bathroom. Is it okay if I go?”

  “Yeah. I’ll let everyone know.”

  Raine didn’t wait around, and made her way straight to the toilet. She locked the door, and went over to the sink to grab the counter.

  “You can do this, Raine. It’s fine.”

  Accepting Luiz’s love had been easy to do. She loved him. There was no doubt for her when it came to her feelings.

  “I wish you were here, Xander. You’d be able to give me some advice.” Even as she spoke to the empty sink, she knew he’d be having a go at her. He’d be telling her how strong she was, and that she needed to learn to see past the current problem to the solution below.

  There was a knock on the door. “Who is it?” she asked.

  “It’s me, Raine. Will you let me in?” Luiz’s voice was clear.

  Releasing a breath, she made her way over to the door, and flicked it open. “I’m not going to do anything crazy. I just needed a minute.”

  Luiz entered the bathroom, and closed the do
or. “Talk to me, babe.”

  “I’m just having a moment. Gathering my composure. Am I allowed to do that?” she asked.

  “You know you are.”

  She nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like a bitch. It’s just tough, you know?”

  “I know it is.”

  “Is he down there?” she asked.

  “He is, and he’s brought a couple of guests as well. Everything will be fine.” Luiz held her arms, rubbing up and down. “Do you trust me?”

  “You know I do. Without a doubt. It’s … Xander wanted to die.”

  “I know.”

  “That’s what I’m having a hard time seeing. He loved life, Luiz.”

  “What I’ve come to know about Xander is I never really knew him. He was always happy telling me one thing, while doing another. He wasn’t a simple guy, babe. There were many parts to him, and some of them I never even found out myself.”

  “I miss him.”

  “I know. I miss him, too.” Luiz pulled her into his arms, and she breathed a sigh of relief when his lips brushed across her neck. “This isn’t easy. It’s hard. Every time I look at him I think of Xander. Of the way he was with you, and how he always had something to say no matter what.”

  “He wouldn’t want me to hide.”

  “No. He wouldn’t.”

  With their hands locked together, they made their way downstairs toward the backyard. She saw several men and women were there. None of them she recognized, but she spotted Christie first. There was a girl that looked about Christie’s age, and they were chatting animatedly.

  “Bracken has a wife. A family. You see the woman by his side?” Luiz asked.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s Tulip, his wife.” The woman was beautiful. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a curvy figure. She was dressed in a long shirt that was designed to cover her swollen stomach. Even from where Raine stood, she saw the smile in the woman’s eyes, and from the looks of everyone, she was kind.

  “I had no idea that he was married,” she said.

  “Neither did we. By bringing his family here, he’s showing us that he trusts us. When he worked for The Family, he never brought any of his family to see us. This is a big show of trust for everyone.”