Learning to Forgive Read online

  She doesn’t believe you.

  I don’t care. I’m going to show her how much I love her.

  ****

  Molly couldn’t stop the tears. She wiped the tissue under her eyes as another wave of tears began to fall. It felt like she’d been crying for most of her adult life. Being with David hadn’t been a walk in the park. He spent a great deal of time moody and depressed.

  She sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the wedding photo. David looked miserable while she looked petrified. She’d been pregnant with Luke at the time. Their wedding had been a rushed affair. The media at the time had soaked up the story of the rushed shot-gun style wedding. The shame she’d felt every time a camera flashed in her face had spoilt any chance of her enjoying her pregnancy. There had been a short time before she’d told David about being pregnant where she’d considered getting rid of it.

  Twenty-five years ago had been different. Having a baby out of wedlock would have made the whole society scorn her for her loose ways. How times had changed. Now, she’d be considered successful or something. She hated thinking about the past. However, getting older and contemplating spending the next twenty-five years with a man who still loved the ghost of his first wife, had made her react.

  Divorce wasn’t her first choice. She loved David so much. The pain he’d caused was worth it, if she got to be with him. How pathetic was that? It had taken her two youngest children to convince her to divorce him.

  Molly wiped her nose then stood up. She needed a drink. There was no sound from downstairs as she walked through to his study. She went straight for the decanter and poured herself a generous shot of brandy. The bitter taste was what she needed to be able to focus on her problem.

  “I’ve turned you to drink?” David asked. He was leaning against the door-frame. He’d aged well. His hair showed a few grey lines. She knew his body was still well defined with a few age lines. They were both healthy and spent a great deal of time caring about their health. She was checked every three months at David’s insistence. Molly had demanded he do the same health checks at the same time.

  “I need it,” she said, turning her back to him. After all this time, he made her heart race and her pussy melt with need for him. Age hadn’t taken away their need for each other. She wanted him more and more while her heart begged her to leave. It was a horrible situation to be in.

  She felt him move close. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against him. Time hadn’t changed how much they wanted each other. She felt the press of his cock against her ass. Molly closed her eyes. It was too much to bear at the moment.

  “Let me go,” she said.

  “I can’t, Molly.”

  His hands tightened around her stomach. She took several deep breaths to try to keep herself under control. It was unfair of him to keep her trapped.

  “Luke and John put you up to this, didn’t they?” he asked.

  “It doesn’t matter. I want a divorce, and if you really think about it, you do as well.”

  “No, you’re wrong, Molly. I never want to be apart from you. I’m home now. I’ve given up work to the boys. I want us to have a life together,” he said.

  “It’s too late. Let go.” She tapped his hand, pulling out of his hold. Summer was fast approaching, but the slight chill in the air meant they still needed to have a fire. She stared at the embers recalling the first night they were together. It had been the first night of many. Once her pregnancy had come out in the open, David had moved fast with all the preparations.

  “I was going to abort Luke,” she said.

  “What?”

  Molly turned to face him. “Some of the girls I used to know suggested I abort the baby. They told me you’d never do the right thing, and I was best off getting rid of him. I booked the appointment and everything. I even went into the clinic and sat waiting.”

  Tears fell from her eyes as she recalled the occasion so clearly. She watched as David ran his fingers through his hair. “When?”

  “The night I told you. That day I went to the clinic. I paid the fee, and then when my name was called I walked out.”

  “Why are you telling me this? And why didn’t you listen to your friends?” he asked.

  “Because you want to stay married. I think it is time you knew the truth. I didn’t want to be married to you then. You loved your first wife more than you loved your children. Still do, from the way it sounds some days. I never wanted to be someone you felt you had to keep. My friends were giving me advice, but when it came to it, I couldn’t get rid of it. I knew, as I was sitting in that clinic, I knew I already loved the baby growing inside me.” Molly covered her stomach recalling the tenderness that had swamped her all those years ago. She’d never be able to abort her child. It was not in her nature. She’d have been a single parent before she considered giving up her baby.

  She saw the tears forming in his eyes. Her hand shook as she pressed the glass to her lips. The brandy burned her throat on the way down. She hated alcohol in all of its forms.

  “What made you change your mind?” David asked.

  “I couldn’t do it. Killing a baby because you wouldn’t want him was not the right choice. I knew I’d regret it. I loved my baby Luke.” She chuckled to herself. Luke was a fully grown man, and yet he was her baby boy. “I didn’t need you to love my baby. If I hadn’t have gotten pregnant, would you have still married me?” she asked.

  “Yes.” His response surprised her. David didn’t hesitate. “I’d decided that night when I took your virginity that I would do anything to claim you. If you didn’t get pregnant then I’d take you again and again until you were. Then you’d have no choice but to be mine.”

  Her throat felt like it was closing up. “In all that time, when you thought about it, you never once thought of simply asking me to be your wife?”

  “No.”

  “You needed a baby to claim me?”

  “No, Molly.”

  He went to go to her. She put a hand up to ward him off. “I don’t want you to come near me, David. So much time has passed. I don’t even think I care anymore.”

  She drained her glass then walked past him.

  “Give me a chance,” he said.

  Molly turned at the door to look at him. “What?”

  “Give me a chance to prove my love for you. Let me show you how it could have been with each other.”

  “Why?”

  “I was young, Molly. I fucked up. I know this. Please, give me a chance to prove to you that you did the right thing in marrying me.”

  She knew she should refuse. When it came to David Sinclair she was weak. A sucker, some might say. She nodded her head then left before he got a chance to pull more from her.

  Molly walked back up the stairs to the room they’d shared for all the years of their marriage. She went to the closet and pulled out some of her clothes. Slowly, she made up the guest bedroom. He might spend the rest of their lives trying to make it up to her, but she wasn’t spending another night in his bed.

  She returned to her guest room. The ring she’d thrown on the fire was by the bed. David must have saved it from the flames.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, she placed the ring on her finger. He’d cleaned the burn marks off.

  What did it all mean?

  Chapter Two

  Three months later

  Nothing was working. Molly went out with him on dates at his request, and by the end of the evenings, she’d go to her room without saying much. Dinner was always a stressful affair. No matter how much effort he put in, she rarely gave anything back. He missed the sweet, talkative woman she used to be. When had she stopped being so open about her feelings?

  His sons were not helping. Blaze was busy dealing with his own love life. Chris had told him to try harder. Trent didn’t speak. Luke and John were never alone with him. Everything he tried to do, failed.

  The house was empty. After the disaster of his cooking breakfast that morning, Molly had left to go to breakfast with their son. David walked up the stairs. Instead of going to his own room, he walked into her bedroom, one of the guest rooms she’d made up for herself a few months ago.

  Her scent greeted him the moment he walked into the room. David closed his eyes feeling a great peace wash over him. For two months, he hadn’t been able to sleep. He woke in a cold bed mourning her next to him.

  Their nights had been spent with each other’s arms wrapped around each other. How could she give that up? It had been the best part of his day, going to sleep with her by his side.

  David moved over to the bed. Her night-wear was on the pillow. He picked it up and lay down, careful not to get his shoes on the bedding. He was a tall man, and his feet hung over the edge of the small bed.

  He pressed the night-shirt to his face, inhaling her fragrance. David curled up holding her shirt against him. For a few moments he felt peaceful and happy. Molly was back and would walk out of the bathroom and curl up against him.

  David closed his eyes, drifting off into a memory.

  ****

  Twenty years ago

  The day had been awful. Work was a constant, nagging hindrance around his shoulders. A few of his business deals had fallen through. The only time he enjoyed his day was when he got the chance to go home to Molly. She cooked him a lovely meal and would sit with him. Sometimes she’d read to him the book she’d gotten from the library. He tried not to show her how much he loved those moments.

  Isabella had taught him a very valuable lesson in showing love. If he showed any ounce of caring, others exploited it until there was nothing left except a pitiful hole of despair.

  “You look a little stressed. Are you okay?” Molly asked, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

  “I’m fine, Molly. Tired but fine.”

  “You work too hard. You need a break. Maybe we could all go somewhere during the summer vacation? What do you think?”

  “I’d like that. Book a time, and I’ll make arrangements to be there.”

  “Okay. I’m going to go and take a shower. Leave the dishes in the sink. I’ll sort them in the morning.”

  He nodded his head. She leaned in close, kissed his cheek, then walked up the stairs. David finished his food with anticipation. He loved being with her. She was so caring and giving. Her response to him was natural, nothing forced or faked.

  David finished his meal then walked up the stairs. The sound of the shower filled the bedroom. The door connecting the bathroom and their bedroom was open. For several moments he stood admiring the shape of her body through the glass. She was a mighty fine woman. His cock stirred with need. David stroked himself then left the room to find the spare bathroom.

  He washed himself quickly then made his way back into his room. Locking the bedroom door, he sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the back of his neck with the towel.

  She came out several minutes later dressed in a silk negligee that plunged at the front showing a great deal of breast. The negligee ended above the knee with a split down the side to her waist. He’d purchased the negligee from a special lingerie store. Molly looked damn hot in sexy silk nightwear. He loved feeling her rub against him in the middle of the night.

  “Wow, you look tired. Here, let me help.” She took the towel from his hands replacing the fabric with her touch. Her hands went to his muscles, rubbing the aches away.

  He moaned. “You’re good with your hands,” he said.

  She chuckled. “You work too hard, David. You’re going to put yourself into an early grave if you’re not careful.”

  “Will you miss me?” he asked.

  “You know I would.”

  “Not because of the money?”

  She slapped him like he knew she would. “I don’t give a rat's ass about your money, David. You know that.”

  In a quick move, he caught her round the waist pulling her onto his lap. His hand moved into the split at the side of her negligee, moving up to touch her full tits. God, he loved her body so damn much. His cock pulsed with fresh arousal at the thought of taking her again.

  Most of his days were spent thinking about how to take her. He wanted to do so much and show her how amazing it was between them.

  She gasped, her smile disappearing.

  “What do you want me for?” he asked.

  “Everything else.” He watched her swallow as he lowered his head.

  “Do you want me for this?” he asked, taking her lips with his own and tweaking her nipple at the same time. She cried out opening her lips for his kiss. He moaned when she squirmed on his lap trying to get closer to him. David stood up, taking Molly with him. His towel fell in a heap on the floor. He didn’t care. David pulled the negligee up and off her body. She wore no panties. Molly stood naked before him. He took her lips once again, running his hand down her body at the same time.

  “Open your legs,” he said.

  Her legs opened, and he pressed two fingers to her creamy wet slit. She was always so responsive to his touch. Her cream soaked his fingers. David pushed his digits inside her sweet cunt and felt her slick with arousal.

  “You want me,” he said.

  “Always.” She whimpered, thrusting down onto his fingers. “Take me, David. I’m yours. Always yours.”

  Her words drove him to the edge. He turned her around and made her kneel with her ass in the air. David ran his hands over each delightful curve. He never grew tired of her body. The lush curves were a constant turn-on to him. He stroked a thumb down the crease of her ass as his other fingers teased her clit. His cock was rock hard, pointing at her entrance, its tip leaking out pre-cum. He grabbed his length, pressed the head to the entrance of her cunt and slammed inside.

  Molly cried out, pressing back against him.

  He took her hard. His hands at her waist held her in place as he continually fucked her. When that wasn’t enough, he moved her up the bed then turned her to face him. David liked seeing the love shining in her eyes.

  Kissing her lips, he made love to her body over and over. The heat of the moment consumed them, neither letting the other over the peak until they were both there. David stared into her eyes seeing the love for him in her green depths. He knew how she felt because he felt it all the time.

  They climaxed together, his release spilling into her womb as her cunt tightened around him. They collapsed on the bed, naked, spent but content. Molly fell asleep straight away. David didn't. He spent the rest of the night watching her sleep. She looked so happy with a slight lift to her lips like she was smiling in her sleep.

  He thought about how much he loved her. In the safety of her dreams, David was able to tell her how he felt.

  “I love you, Molly. With all my heart.” He stroked her cheek pushing the excess hair off her face.

  ****

  David came out of the memory. At the time he hadn’t been aware he’d made her pregnant with John. The only time he’d told her how he felt was through sleep. He was ashamed. Even after all these years he’d never told her to her face. After that night, she’d booked the holiday, and he’d not gone with them. He recalled how sad she’d looked, but she hadn’t said anything. Instead, she’d cancelled the reservations she’d made and had taken them to the beach house. How many holidays had he cancelled? There were too many to count. With Isabella, he’d never missed one. What did he have with Molly? Broken promises and fucked up memories.

  He felt angry and was infuriated with himself at his lack of words. No wonder Molly wanted a divorce. He was a horrible man who’d never told her how he felt. Getting off the bed, he evened out the bedding then made his way to where he’d stored everything of Isabella’s. That woman, his first wife, had been the cause of so much fucking pain.

  The anger inside him was building. The blood was pumping around his chest with so much hatred. He couldn’t even remember why he’d kept all of her crap over the years. David had never looked through her shit since the day she died.

  He grabbed the box from the closet where he’d stored the damn thing. David pulled it along, down the stairs then into the sitting room.

  The fire was out. It was summer, and there was no need for a fire. He turned the heat on, and the flames came up. After grabbing some logs and the tub of lighter fuel, he made a quick fire in the hearth.

  Opening the box, he saw all of her crap. Isabella was dead. She wasn’t coming back, and he never wanted her back for the rest of his life. The first item he came to was her photographs. He stared down at her beauty, and all he saw was the anger on her face at being pregnant again. She hadn’t loved him at all. Isabella had used him for his money.

  “Fucking bitch,” he said, throwing her pictures onto the fire. All this time he’d spent thinking she’d been his first love. The one he was supposed to love for the rest of his life. Molly was the woman he loved. He’d loved her from the first moment she walked through that door for the position as his nanny. At the time he hadn’t wanted it to be a live-in arrangement. The moment he saw her and the way she was with all three kids, he’d known she was the woman for him. The live-in arrangement had been a last minute decision on his part.

  He would burn every last memory of his first wife from his mind. No more would she plague him. Molly deserved so much more from him. Twenty-five years he had to make up for. Twenty-five years of living with a man who thought he was still in love with his first wife but was in denial.

  Every photograph he found at the top of the storage box was thrown onto the fire. Most of them weren't even with the boys. She hadn’t loved them.

  “I’m such an idiot,” he said to himself.

  The pain inside his chest began to build.

  Chapter Three

  Molly took a deep breath as she stared at the home she’d been living in for most of her adult life. They rarely went anywhere. Most of their holidays had been spent at the beach, or they’d never even gone. Actually, David had never been on holiday with her. She couldn’t recall ever being away with him on occasions that felt like holidays. During all of their times at the beach house, he’d still been working. If work was still involved, surely that wasn’t any kind of vacation?

  -->