Learning to Forgive Read online

  She shook the memory off and opened the door to the house. From the silence, it sounded like the house was deserted. Trent had stayed out after breakfast, and she’d taken a long walk on the beach to help clear her head. David always made her feel so sad when he yelled at her like he had that morning. For most of their married life she’d spent a great deal of time trying to make him happy. What a waste that had turned out to be. The only woman who could make him happy was a woman who was six feet under. Molly hated a woman she’d never met. Isabella Sinclair was the reason for her unhappiness. Molly was in love with a man who would always be in love with another woman. She chuckled at the ridiculousness of her situation.

  She put her bag away in the dresser next to the door. Luke and John had left a note saying they’d be out. She left it on top of the dresser in case someone wanted to read it. Next, she walked into the kitchen. The mess she’d seen that morning was cleaned away. Every surface was scrubbed clean. She checked the fridge and saw replacements had been made.

  Confused, she went looking ‘round the house. The door to David’s office was ajar, and she moved in. He was standing by the fire place with a small fire built inside the hearth. He was throwing stuff into the flames.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  He turned to look at her. His gaze penetrated her where she stood. Her body worked against her, responding to the heat in his eyes. David was always able to seduce her without saying a word. He threw something else into the fire.

  Molly moved closer into the room and saw several empty boxes. Looking in the closest one, she saw the stuff he’d kept from his first wife.

  “You don’t have to do this,” she said when she finally realised what he was doing.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “No. You don’t. Burning this doesn’t change what’s happened or your feelings.” David threw another picture of his wife on the fire.

  “No. It doesn’t change anything.”

  She couldn’t let him do this. “David, loving a woman is not a crime.”

  “I know.”

  “What is going on?” She shouted the last at him. The calmness she saw inside him scared her. The man she knew would fight with her tooth and nail if she ever tried to replace something his wife had gotten.

  “I’m finally admitting the truth to myself.”

  “What? That you can never love another woman?” she asked.

  “I was never in love with her,” he yelled. Molly took a step back at the look in his eyes. He lifted a box and threw the whole thing into the hearth. “I hated her, Molly. I thought I was in love with her, but the truth of it was, I stayed at work so I didn’t have to come home. She was needy, whiny, and constantly complained about the boys. The only thing that bitch ever wanted was my money and the Sinclair’s fucking name!”

  She stood speechless as he shouted. All the words he spoke were in contradiction to everything he’d ever told her.

  “She wanted to do nothing but spend money and leave the boys to a nanny. Her figure was ruined because I couldn’t keep my lust under control. She told me when she got pregnant with Trent that she tried to get rid of it. Do you have any idea what it’s like looking at your son and seeing the hard look of hatred because his own mother didn’t want him? I’ve had to deal with that ever since he was born. I’d rather him hate me for thinking I blame him for his mother’s death, rather than admit how much a dead woman he never knew didn’t want him.” David sighed. “I know your friends advised you to abort our baby, but you couldn’t. You never would have gotten rid of our child. You love too easily to get rid of anything. Isabella was different. We were married when Trent was conceived. She didn’t have to fear society. She was fucking married to me.”

  The tears fell from her eyes as years of pain and hate spilled out of the man she thought she knew. David had kept so much of himself locked away, and she was only beginning to see the real man underneath.

  “I love that boy so much because regardless of anything his mother tried to do, he still fucking lives. He’s a fighter, and I’m proud of him.”

  She didn’t speak. Molly knew he needed to say this.

  “Then you came into my life. You were sweet and adorable. Everything she wasn’t. And it was like the whole world was mocking me. I had had a woman who was so gorgeous that every man wanted to bed her, but she chose me. Only she never chose me; she chose my money. You were different.” He cupped her cheeks staring into her eyes. “You came in and looked after my boys as if they were your own. I fell in love for the first time the moment you stood in front of Trent and defended him. A woman who was so unselfish that you dealt with an old man’s attentions.”

  He kissed her lips, and Molly didn’t respond. The pain in his voice was more than anything she could bear. “I’m a selfish bastard, Molly Sinclair. I wasn’t drunk that night. I knew I was going to have you. I’d had a few drinks, but I knew what was going on. I took you and prayed you were pregnant as it would have given me more rights over you.”

  She whimpered. “How? Why? You’ve spent so much time hating me?”

  “I’ve never hated you, Molly.” He kissed her lips. “I hated myself because of how much I hated her. You were the woman I’ve always wanted. Blaze, Chris, Trent, Luke, and John are brilliant, but without you it means nothing.”

  David kissed her with so much passion he took her breath away. Suddenly, he tensed, collapsing in a heap on the floor, his hand covering his chest.

  “David, what’s wrong?”

  He couldn’t speak.

  She ran and called an ambulance quickly before rushing back to him. He lay on the floor in a heap. “Don’t die on me, David. Please, I love you. I love you so much.” She brushed his hair off his temple, kissing him.

  Life couldn’t be this cruel. She refused to believe he would die on her after he’d admitted the truth.

  “I love you. I told you every night you were asleep in my arms.”

  “Don’t talk, David. I’m here. I’ve got you. The ambulance is going to be here any moment. Please, don’t die.”

  His hand gripped hers as he stared at her. She couldn’t handle this. It was too much. The sobs fell from her as the paramedics crashed into her home. They moved her out of the way. She watched them work on her husband. Her whole body was numb all over.

  What had David been thinking all these years? She knew whatever he had to say wasn’t over. There was so much hate and pain left unsaid.

  Molly prayed to whoever was listening that those were not the last words she’d ever utter to the love of her life.

  The paramedics took him to the ambulance. She rode in the back as they drove to the hospital. No one talked to her as they pushed him through to the Cardiology department. There, she sat waiting for what was to happen. The doctors asked her some questions.

  She filled in forms then walked to the telephone. Calls needed to be made. Molly talked to all of their children then waited for the bad news.

  ****

  David was pissed off. He was hooked up to several machines, and the doctor was prodding his arm. Why wouldn’t they leave him alone? He felt fine.

  “You had an angina attack. You’re stressed, Mr. Sinclair.”

  “I don’t care what I am. Is my wife here?” he asked. Where was Molly? He’d been talking to her, and then he’d felt the pain in his chest. The last health check-up he’d undergone had been fine. He was healthy as a horse, or so the saying went.

  “Your wife is in the waiting room.”

  “I’m not dead, son. Get my wife in here.”

  “Sir, your whole family is in the waiting room.”

  He sighed. David didn’t want his family. He wanted Molly.

  “Please, do me a favour and get my wife here.”

  “Well, I should have known you’d be bossing my interns around,” Malcolm said. He was a long-time friend of his. “Molly looks a little scared. I saw her through the doors. Is everything all right?”

  David glared at the inter
n, making sure his friend dismissed him before he talked.

  “I need you to go and check the vitals on ward four, Jake.”

  The intern nodded and left.

  “So, what do you have me bossing my own interns around for, David?”

  “A few months ago, Molly asked me for a divorce.”

  “Does this have to do with that supposed curse that the Sinclair men are only supposed to love one woman?” Malcolm asked.

  “You remember that?”

  “There is not a lot a doctor can forget even with a case-load of beer inside him. Molly is a good woman. Have you been treating her like the second woman?”

  David nodded his head.

  “David!” He heard the disappointment in his friend’s tone.

  “I know. I need your help. First though, what is wrong with me?”

  “Did you know you’ve got diabetes?”

  He shook his head. “They were doing some tests the last time I went in.”

  “I bet it is because of all Molly’s cookies. That woman can cook,” Malcolm said.

  “I know.” David knew she was an exceptional cook. Molly excelled at everything she set her mind to. Look at his boys. Blaze and Chris might refuse to call her mother, but she raised them like they were own. Very few women would take a man on with three sons already.

  “How are things between you and Molly?” Malcolm asked.

  David sighed, and he knew his shoulders slumped. “Not good. She asked me for a divorce a few months ago. I can’t bring myself to let her go.”

  “Why don’t you just give in, David? You clearly love her, always have if you ask me.” Malcolm folded his arms. It had been a while since he’d seen his old friend.

  “I screwed up,” David said.

  “Because you believed everything your father told you?”

  David nodded his head. He didn’t need to speak aloud to know that he’d fucked up big time. “Look, can you do something for me?”

  Malcolm nodded his head. “Sure, you’re still my friend, even if I’m your doctor.”

  “Could you tell Molly not to bring up divorce again?”

  His friend began to shake his head. “I can’t do that, David.”

  “I suffered an angina attack, I know. I feel much better. Are you sure it wasn’t indigestion?” David asked.

  “I’m the one who is the doctor here. You need to take care of yourself. I’ve got a prescription here for some medication that will help you, and I’ll also request that you come back every few months so we can check you over.”

  David watched as Malcolm made some notes on the chart by his bed. David reached out and caught Malcolm’s hand. “Please, I’m asking as a friend. I did this for you and Tilly. Remember? I talked to her all those years ago and tried to make her see reason.” Malcolm had been on the verge of an affair. When David had learned of the nightmare his friend was about to create, he’d done everything he could to help his friends. Fortunately, Malcolm hadn’t strayed, and they were a loving, happy couple.

  Malcolm looked at his hand. David knew he was clutching with desperation, and he felt desperate. If he didn’t think of something soon, Molly was going to leave him. He couldn’t have that. No matter what anyone thought about him, he’d loved that woman since the first moment he met her. He would do anything to keep her.

  “I was a fool, Malcolm. For twenty-five years, I’ve let her down. I wasn’t there for her. Please, I beg you, do this for me, and I’ll be the best damn patient you ever had.”

  Tears sprang to his eyes as he spoke the words.

  “Okay, I’ll talk to Molly. No acting up to this. I’m a doctor, and I don’t want you to ruin a perfectly pristine career for me. I hope to retire in a few years.”

  “You’ll never really retire, Malcolm. It's not inside you to.”

  “I want to be at home with Tilly. I’m finishing up my time and spending the rest with her. I’ll get your family.” Malcolm patted him on the arm and left the room.

  David lay back and closed his eyes. He needed to rest in order to come up with a plan of action. Molly wouldn’t stay with him forever unless he showed her how important she was to him.

  He knew he’d do anything to keep her with him, anything.

  Over the years, he had done anything.

  Chapter Four

  Twenty-four years ago

  David watched Molly in the nursery. She was feeding Luke, and his other boys were downstairs doing their homework. For the first time since he could remember, they were a family. Molly was his wife. He saw the ring he’d bought glinting on her finger. It was a simple cut diamond surrounded in gold. The lady in the shop had cooed over the expense as he made the purchase, and he remembered her voice grating through him.

  “You’re absolutely perfect,” Molly said to the baby in her arms. David found himself always watching her. No matter where they were or what they were doing, she captured his attention unlike any other female. She looked beautiful, glowing almost, as she got up and put their son to sleep.

  Several minutes later she came out of the nursery and closed the door. She stopped the moment she saw him. The small light in her eyes began to dim as she looked in his eyes. He’d noticed the light dying inside her. David knew it was his fault. He would say or do something, and a little piece of her that he adored would fall away. She’d stopped bringing him lunch into work because he’d told her he was embarrassed by her attention. Why had he said such awful things? Was he trying to push her away? Was he punishing her for what happened with Isabella? She didn’t have the first clue, but she was going to make sure he answered them or explained himself.The best part of his day had been when she came to his work place and handed him lunch. Sometimes she’d sit with him, and they would each lunch together. Isabella never made such small sacrifices. He’d ruined it.

  “You didn’t bring me lunch today,” he said.

  “I was tired. Besides, you can get lunch from the cafeteria. You said so yourself.” She brushed past him. He reached out catching her arm then pressed her against the wall. Her floral scent invaded his senses, making any common sense leave him.

  “I like you bringing me lunch.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t do this, David. You either want my company or not. You were clear last time not to bring you lunch.”

  “I was wrong. I want you to bring me lunch from now on. Every day.” He didn’t know where the words were coming from, only that he had to speak them.

  “Why?”

  “Because I need you.” David knew his words confused her. He would tell her one thing and then another. No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop himself from hurting her. Before she had a chance to argue, he slammed his lips down on hers. They were the few moments in his life when the sun really shone. Molly never resisted him no matter how much she tried. She was his shining light, the main reason he got up every morning and worked. How could he have loved anyone else in his life?

  Was his father’s prediction correct? That a Sinclair was only ever bound to love one woman? It was a cruel fate as he’d picked the worst woman in the world to love.

  Her arms wrapped around his neck cutting off all thought. Ever since she’d been pregnant, Molly had begun to wear dresses. David pulled the fabric of her dress up her thighs. Her little whimper let him know she wanted him as much as he wanted her. The attraction inside him was sharp and instant. His cock pulsed with a fresh wave of arousal. He needed inside her sweet pussy.

  Closing his eyes, he pressed his face against her neck breathing her in. She consumed him like a never-ending fire. Each time he thought he was happy and sated with her a few days would go by, and then his need would reawaken. Her fingers tugged at the hair at the base of his neck.

  “You need a haircut,” she said.

  “You can do it another time.” He eased his zipper down and pulled the length of his cock from his pants. Without waiting, he lifted her up, felt the moist heat of her pussy, and then eased inside her. She gasped, the walls
of her cunt squeezing him as he pushed through each little ripple of her muscles. Molly was so wonderfully tight.

  David pressed her against the wall, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and held on. He wanted to pound inside her, but he held himself back, slowing his thrusts. Her fingers played with the hair at the base of his neck. David knew he would purposefully leave it long so she would always have an excuse to play with his hair.

  She gasped, her head falling back exposing the top parts of her breasts. He pushed the top of her dress down exposing a plump pale breast with a dark red, almost brown, nipple. Licking his lips, he latched on to the glorious bud sucking her inside his mouth.

  Her hips thrust up to meet him as he drove all the way home. He was totally gone from her small sounds and the feel of her wrapped around him. It was more than he could bear. David held onto her hips as he pounded inside her. She held on as he rammed into her tight cunt. Stars exploded along his vision, and the sound of her cry echoed off the walls of the corridor as her climax erupted. He sucked her nipple into his mouth, and the tightening of her pussy sent him over into bliss.

  A growl echoed off the walls. David pumped his hips releasing his seed inside her. He never used condoms. The feel of her sweetness was too good to give up.

  He kissed her lips, a small brush, and she turned her head away. David didn’t comment. After sex came some of the most awkward moments of his life.

  Her fingers continued to stroke his hair, and he rested his head against her breasts wishing with all of his might that the world could stop right now. She was in his arms, and peace had settled over him.

  Like so many times before, a sound from downstairs invaded the moment. “I have to go,” she said in a whisper.

  “No, I’ll go.” He pulled out of her, tucking his flaccid cock back into his pants. There was so much he wanted to say and do. Instead, he kissed her head and left her standing there.

  Why couldn’t he bring himself to show her the love he felt? It hurt him all the time, and he knew it was killing her.