Ashamed (The Family #3) Read online

  Luiz looked at that envelope. It was the chance that he wanted. The only problem was he’d made a pact, a blood oath to his best friends. They were his brothers.

  “What would you do?” Jake asked.

  “I’ll be here, of course. Trying to keep The Family together, tearing apart all threats, and hoping to save my very soul and Paige’s love in the process.”

  “Then that’s it, I’m staying,” Jake said. “You couldn’t organize your own pussy growing up. Paige likes me, and the way I see it, you’re going to need some help with her and with Petal along the way. It’s not like I’ve got my own woman waiting for me.”

  Jake had a crush on the girl, or the woman that Donnie’s dad had stolen, and used for his own personal pleasure. The problem was, Charlene, the woman, was a lesbian, and she now had a lover of her own. Jake was still brokenhearted about that.

  Tonio cursed. “Fuck! I wouldn’t be the man I am now if it wasn’t for us working together. You bastard. This isn’t a real choice. I can’t leave you behind. Zara would kick my ass. We’ve always had each other, and I can’t let you face whatever shit you’re about to face alone. It’s now who I am, so I’m in. No matter what.”

  Luiz stared at the brown envelope and thought about his kid, and his kid’s aunt. They deserved a life better than the one he was providing. He just knew it.

  “What about you? You in?” Donnie asked.

  “I’m in.”

  Christie and Raine were as protected as they were ever going to be.

  “So what happens now?” Luiz asked. “I mean, nothing really has changed, is it? The only difference is we’re the ones giving the orders now. No one else.”

  “We need to keep our show of force. I believe we’ll be stronger if we each take a key lead in our areas.”

  “Then you need to handle the main legit businesses,” Luiz said. “It’s already in your name. You have the contacts, and it makes perfect sense.”

  “You think so?” Donnie asked. “This is where we can change what we want to do.”

  “No, Don, you’ve always been the lead of our legit business. I’m with Luiz on this,” Jake said. “You’re the only one that can do this. I’m going to take our drugs link. My dad was the one who organized the drug runs and the distribution.”

  “You think you can do that?” Luiz asked.

  “It’s what I know. It’s what my father wanted me to take over. The drugs, and also the dealings with the soldiers. We’ll be keeping soldiers for The Family.”

  “Yes,” Donnie said.

  Luiz listened as they all made their final decisions. Tonio was going to handle the guns and gambling, leaving Luiz with the girls and the fighting.

  “You okay with that?” Donnie asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine with it.”

  “Right, I’m going to head out and touch base,” Jake said, and left the main office of Donnie’s home.

  Tonio left next, and Luiz was heading out when Donnie stopped him.

  “You hesitated,” Donnie said, getting out of his chair, and rounded the desk to stand in front of him.

  “It’s not what I wanted, and I never pretended it was.”

  “Does this have to do with Maria—”

  “Fuck no. Maria took her own life because she couldn’t stand the bitch she had turned into. She killed my niece and nephew along with her. The last thing I want to think about is that bitch.”

  Maria had strung his friend, Jake, along. Even though she had been Luiz’s sister, and he’d done everything he could to protect her, he wasn’t stupid. Maria had been a bitch who was more willing to take a beating for a life of luxury than get out.

  Jake had offered Maria a life out of The Family. She was more interested in a diamond necklace.

  “What’s going on with you, Luiz? Did something happen?”

  “No. Fuck all has happened to me. We had a plan, which has changed, and now I have to deal with the change. I handle the underground fights, and the girls. It’s not hard to do.”

  “There is a chance for us to have a good life, Luiz. I believe that.”

  Luiz burst out laughing. “You’re fucking joking right? There’s no way that you can have a good life and be part of the criminal world. This will probably bite us all in the ass in years to come, but there you go.” He moved toward the door, wanting out of his friend’s home.

  “I have to think positively about this, Luiz.”

  “Donnie, look what this family did to Tonio, to Charlene, to everyone it touches. It’s a fucking nightmare, and with every single death, there’s less of a chance of us coming back from that. I know this, and you’re a fool to think you can get away with it.”

  ****

  “I don’t think I can do this,” Raine said, her stomach churning.

  “Sweetie, you’re twenty-two years old, and you deserve to date at least once,” Xander said.

  “What about you? You’re not dating, and you’re getting old.”

  “Shut up about my age, and I do just fine,” he said.

  She knew he went and visited women whenever he wanted. Raine was happy that she and Christie hadn’t cramped his style by living with him. The best thing about living with Xander was the visits from Luiz. Those were the ones she enjoyed the most, and no, she wasn’t going to read too much into that.

  “Luiz won’t like this. He doesn’t want to risk Christie, and I’ve never gone against him like this.”

  “You’re not going against him now. I’m the one that has decided that you need to get out some more. You’ve never dated, and I’ve known you since you were fifteen.”

  “You didn’t like me,” she said, reminding him of how much of a bastard he’d been to her in the beginning. “My charming personality and Luiz’s threats have helped with that.”

  What was with her constantly thinking about Luiz? It was driving her crazy. She even dreamt about him now, and no matter what she did to exhaust herself so she fell to sleep, nothing worked, and it drove her insane. Waking up aroused was something new for her as well.

  “I thought I was going to have to deal with all of your messes. The women that come from The Family, they have a lot of baggage okay? I find women like to make more mess than they actually clean up.”

  “That’s not me, Xander. I’m not part of The Family, not really. I just take care of my niece because it’s what my sister would have wanted, and Luiz would have probably killed me for knowing too much.”

  Xander actually laughed at her words, and she rolled her eyes. Only he would find humor in a death threat.

  “Luiz wouldn’t have killed you.”

  “You don’t have to try to make me feel better. I’m not a fool. I’ve seen the mafia movies. It’s a good thing they didn’t sell me into sexual slavery or something.” She finished applying her lipstick, and hated the dark red color, but it was what Xander told her she should wear.

  Would Luiz like the dark red? Ugh, stop already.

  “Luiz is not like that. He’s trying to find another way for The Family to work. I also know he’s wanting to make a completely different world for you, and for Christie.”

  She didn’t see the point in arguing with Xander. The moment he made up his mind there was no stopping him. For the past seven years, Luiz had been coming and going, seeing Christie, issuing his threats. She was starting to see his warnings as a little bit of a flirt, especially when he winked. Still, Luiz was untouchable, and she wasn’t that big of a fool to think that she could win him over.

  Not that she wanted to. No. She and Luiz simply had one small girl in common, and that was it.

  How much of a liar could she be? She had a crush on her dead sister’s love, and that wasn’t right, right?

  “I can’t believe you arranged a date for me with the guy from the local grocery store.” She grabbed her jacket and bag.

  “You wouldn’t arrange a date. I was starting to see that you really weren’t going to live your life, and being a martyr really isn’t good, Raine.”<
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  “I’m more worried that Luiz is going to take this as a sign that I’m not fit to take care of my niece.”

  “You forget that I’m here, sweetie. I’m here to deal with Luiz, and to help you live your life. You’re not supposed to spend the rest of your life helping her. What happens when she’s eighteen? When she’s twenty-two like you are now.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, it’s time for you to know. I’m not going to be around forever, and you’re going to be alone. I don’t want you to have regrets.”

  “So Bradley the grocer is going to help me?”

  “He’s a college student who comes home every summer to help out at the shop. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I think you should give him a chance.”

  Xander saw her out of the house, and she took a deep breath as she found Bradley waiting for her outside near his car.

  She glanced back at Xander, and he simply smiled. “Go, have fun, and for once in your life, stop worrying.”

  “It’s easy for you to say. Do you know if Luiz is coming over tonight?” she asked.

  “If he is, I’ll deal with him. You can’t keep making him tell you what to do. Live your own life.”

  “The threat to Christie’s life?”

  “I’ll handle it, just like I’ve been handling all kinds of threats since you came into my life. Mostly that of filling my house with feminine products, and making me fat through your cooking.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll have fun, and you better not watch horror movies with Christie. The last time you two did, I had to stay up with her three nights in a row. My body cannot handle that much coffee, and so little sleep.”

  “We can amuse ourselves. I was just thinking of playing a few board games. The word being ‘bored’ as in boring.”

  Raine chuckled, and turned back to Bradley.

  I can do this. It’s easy.

  Lifting her hand in a small wave, she tried not to cringe at Bradley’s huge smile. This was all wrong, and yet if she didn’t do this, Xander was never going to get off her back.

  Stepping toward Bradley, she forced a smile. “Hey,” she said.

  “Hello.”

  “I’m sorry that Xander forced you into this. I’m sure you had a lot more fun planned for a Friday evening.”

  She saw that Bradley’s cheeks actually went bright red.

  “Well, this was my idea.”

  “Oh.”

  “I wanted to date you for a long time now. I’ve just never gotten around to it.”

  “Wow, erm, now I feel a little sorry. I, wow, I don’t know what to say.” She chuckled. “I guess I put my foot in my mouth.”

  “You don’t have to worry about a thing.” He chuckled. “I should have asked you. I got to Xander first because every time I tried to ask you, you were always so busy. I’m sure you don’t even remember me all that much.”

  “Of course I remember you. You’re always so sweet to me, and to Christie. You’re the only guy at the store who’ll offer to take my groceries to the car.”

  “Christie, is she yours?” Bradley asked.

  “No, why? She’s my niece but my sister…” Raine paused. This was not the topic that she wanted to talk about. “She’s no longer with us, and I promised to always look after her. Do you understand?”

  “Yeah, I do. Shit, I’m so sorry. This is not how I imagined our first date being.”

  “You imagined your first date with me?” she asked, charmed.

  “Yes. I had to get the courage to ask you.”

  “Xander told me to go out on a date with you. You never got the courage.”

  He glanced at the ground, and then at her. “Raine, would you go out with me?”

  “I’d love to.”

  Bradley opened the door of his car for her, and she slid inside. Her heart was racing. Ever since Luiz had brought her to this place, she’d avoided contact with everyone. She kept to herself, made sure friends were aware she wasn’t available for anything. Her main priority had been keeping Christie safe, and living with Xander had been a lot of fun.

  She had enjoyed proving him wrong, and making him a little guilty for some of the nasty words he’d thrown her way. Even before she moved in with Xander, she’d never been the kind to make friends easily. In fact, she had found it damn hard to connect to people all the time.

  Her sister, Lora, had been the more outgoing one. She knew what she wanted, and the moment Lora met Luiz, they had been inseparable. Raine wondered if her sister would have ever regretted being with Luiz. It was still hard for Raine to think of Luiz as part of the mafia, as part of The Family. Ever since she learned the truth of who he was, she had researched him.

  It was something she had to do to know what she was dealing with, what Christie was going to have to deal with as well. Of course what didn’t help either were her growing feelings for Luiz. It made no sense, and yet at the same time, it did. He was a handsome man, or at least, she thought he was. There was no way she could think any differently seeing as he was the one she thought about all the time.

  “You’re back home from college. What are you studying?” she asked. She knew next to nothing about Bradley.

  “I’m studying business with the hope of taking over from my dad when he’s ready to retire. I want to expand the business.”

  “It sounds like you have a plan already in motion.”

  “Oh, I do. I can’t wait, to be honest. I really want to get my hands stuck in. The only way to live is to keep moving forward. The world doesn’t stay still. It’s always moving, and we’ve got to keep up, or we’ll die.”

  It was a morbid thought, and one Raine didn’t want to think about. Her world had been moving for the past seven years, and she was tired of it. All she wanted to do was for it to slow down, so that she could have time to enjoy it.

  “I’m sorry. I’m rambling.”

  “It’s fine. Honestly. I like listening to your plans for the future.” It certainly beat being worried about a certain father being pissed with her.

  Chapter Two

  Luiz was tired, and instead of going home to pass out for the night, he needed to see his girls. He didn’t know when he’d started to think of Raine as his, but he had. She was part of his world, and it was all his fault that she’d never be able to live a normal life.

  Pulling up outside of Xander’s house, he stared at the plain house. The point of Christie and Raine being here was for them to lead as normal a life as possible. With Donnie’s latest revelation, their life wasn’t going to change anytime soon. He couldn’t risk bringing his little girl into his world. He hated doing this.

  There was no other way for him to draw her into his world.

  Christie didn’t deserve it.

  Neither did Raine.

  She was too sweet.

  Too innocent.

  This was his battle.

  Climbing out of his car, he made his way up toward the house. He didn’t knock, knowing there was no need to. Xander told him he was family, and he was supposed to just enter.

  “Anyone home?” he asked, calling out to be heard.

  “Daddy!” Christie ran toward him and threw herself into his arms.

  Pulling her close, he held her tightly. “Hey, baby girl. You had a good day?”

  “I’m making brownies.”

  “With Raine?” he asked.

  “No. Xander.”

  “Where’s Raine? Is she sick?”

  “She’s on a very important date.” Christie smiled at him. “Xander told me so.”

  The pain that slammed into his chest was not what Luiz expected. “Date?”

  “Yep.”

  He lifted her up into his arms, and walked toward the kitchen. Xander had on an apron, and was reading through a recipe, frowning.

  “What the fuck does she do?” Xander asked.

  “Language!”

  He didn’t like bad words around Christie. There were many reasons Luiz kept his little girl
away from him.

  “Sorry. I’m just wondering what Raine puts in these damn brownies to make them taste so good.”

  “I need to go to the toilet,” Christie said.

  Lowering her to the floor, Luiz watched her go, and turned back to Xander. “She’s out on a date.”

  “Raine, yeah, she is.”

  “Why?”

  “Do you have anything against her dating?” Xander asked.

  “She’s raising my child, and I told her not to go out. You said you didn’t want the hassle of a girl constantly dating.”

  Xander held his hand up. “Stop right there. Raine didn’t organize this. I did.”

  “What?”

  “I made her go on this date, and don’t worry, the kid is harmless that she’s with.”

  Luiz felt betrayed. Xander had been the closest thing to a family for him, and yet he was betraying him.

  “How could you do that? What about Christie?”

  “What about Raine?”

  “What about her?”

  “Since she was fifteen years old, she has been helping me take care of Christie, studied hard, cleaned this place up, and done everything you asked of her without question.”

  “So? I promised to protect them.”

  “And in order for her to keep living, she has to forget the chance of her own life, is that it?”

  Luiz frowned, not knowing what to say.

  “Raine didn’t want to go tonight. She wished I hadn’t made her. She’s twenty-two years old, Luiz. She’s never had a boyfriend, or felt love.”

  “She has Christie’s love.”

  “That’s not the same thing and you know it.”

  Xander stood tall, placing a hand on his hip. “You’re pissed off that another guy is with her.”

  “Grow up.”

  “I am, Luiz. I’m a grown ass man. What about you?”

  “What does this have to do with Raine going out on a date?” He faced off with Xander, wanting any reason he could to hurt the man.

  How dare he make Raine go on a date?