Not Damaged Read online

She made to protest but Jake was out the door. Putting her purse down on the counter, she took the seat in the corner. One moment she’d sat waiting for Jake to bring her to the dungeon then the next he was looking for another man to give her what she needed. None of it made any sense.

  Running fingers through her hair, she blew some of her fringe out of her eyes. A haircut would be on the agenda in the next week. She worked as a receptionist in a lawyer’s office. One of the lawyers offered her a job as a personal assistant, which she turned down. The man in question had been trying to get her to go out on dates with him. She refused to give men the wrong signal, especially when she wouldn’t go through with it.

  What on earth had happened to Jake?

  * * * *

  Staring at the screen, Ryan took a seat while Bill finished dealing with some issue on the main floor. From the looks of it one guy tried to hit on another’s girlfriend. He zoomed onto the girl in the dungeon who’d been sitting at the bar. What was it about her that intrigued him?

  She sat on a chair, her hands rubbing up and down her thighs. Her head rested on the wall behind her with her eyes closed. What was she thinking? His curiosity rose even more. What was she thinking? His thoughts stayed on her even as the door to the office banged open.

  “Ryan, can I have a word?” Jake asked.

  Bill entered the room before he got chance to answer. “Everything is okay now, boss.” Ryan watched the other man take a seat, returning his attention back to Jake.

  “I could really do with that word.”

  Glancing toward the man, Ryan zoomed out of the room, giving Bill a nod before he left.

  Ryan led the way into his office and took a seat behind the desk. “What do you want?”

  “I need your help.” Jake took a seat.

  “Then get on with it. I’ve not got all day.”

  “It’s about Jesse and everything she’s been through.”

  For the next ten minutes, Ryan listened to everything Jake had to say. He got a complete run down of the blonde woman who caught his interest. Anger consumed him at learning about her past.

  “What happened to the fucker?” Ryan asked, hoping the bastard got castrated with a blunt knife.

  “He pulled a gun on a local sheriff or something and he got shot dead.”

  The end was too easy for Ryan. “Keep going.”

  Jake finished the tale, leading up to him offering his services to bring her pleasure.

  “Is she seeing someone about her issues?” Ryan ran a finger over his lip.

  “Yes, but she doesn’t talk about this with them.”

  “What do you think? Is she stable in her mind?”

  “I’ve never had a problem with her. She hasn’t experienced any bad memories or anything. I promise you, Ryan, she’s a lot stronger than she looks.”

  Sitting back, he stared at the man who was asking him to take over Jesse’s care. “She doesn’t want a relationship?”

  “No, I’ve never had sex with her either. I simply give her pleasure. I’ve touched her body but never found any pleasure myself during our time together.”

  Contemplating what Jake said, he considered his options. He did find her attractive. Every time he looked at her he got a stirring in his groin.

  “Will you do it? I know you want her, Ryan. All I ask is that you take care of her for me. Give her everything she needs.”

  “Jake, you’re in no position to tell me what to do. Not only will I take care of her but I’ll also make sure her needs are met fairly. I’m not a monster.” His cock hardened at the thought of taking the young woman. At forty years old he was ready to find a submissive woman he could play with. “Also, you will not butt your nose in. If I do this then I’m doing it without your interference. I expect the same rules to apply as I do in my club.”

  “Yes. I agree.”

  “Now, go and get her. I think it’s time I got to know my new submissive.” He watched Jake leave the office, closing the door behind him. What the hell was he doing? Backing out wasn’t an option. Jesse needed him or at least she needed someone who wouldn’t leave her for another woman.

  It’s a good time as any to settle down.

  Tapping his fingers on the desk, he waited. Within five minutes there was a knock, opening the door when he told whomever to enter. He didn’t know if it would be Jake or someone else. Jesse appeared first. Her eyes met his. He followed her movements as she walked into the room.

  “Take a seat, Jesse,” Ryan said. “Have you told her everything?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. You may leave and continue your work in the club.”

  He waited for Jake to close the door before focusing on Jesse. She sat with her hands in her lap, grasping the purse.

  “What’s your name?” he asked.

  “Jesse Robinson.”

  Raising an eyebrow, he waited for her to ask him a question. After several minutes neither of them said a word. Getting up from his seat, he circled the desk to rest on the edge while looking down at her. Nothing lay between them and he got a clear view of her body. “We’re not going to get anywhere until you start talking to me,” he said.

  “What? I thought Jake told you everything.” Her eyes were large and the bright blue took his breath away.

  “Yes, he did. I want to hear you talk. I’m not into silence unless I say otherwise. I’m not going to fuck you or play with you until I know you more, Jesse.”

  He gave her time to let his words sink in.

  “Erm, what’s your name?” she asked. Her cheeks were bright red and flushed.

  “Ryan Carter.”

  “How long have you been a Dom?”

  Smiling, he clasped his fingers together in front of him. “All my adult life. You?”

  “One year.” She didn’t hesitate in her response. “How old are you?”

  “I’m forty years old. What about you?”

  “I’m twenty five.”

  His assessment of her earlier was accurate. “What do you do? Where do you work?”

  “I’m a receptionist for a law firm.” She mentioned the name and he whistled.

  “Good work there, or so I’m told.” Several of his customers were from the law firm she mentioned, which he found funny.

  “Yes, it’s a great place to work and they’ve got good medicals and stuff.” She smiled, tucking some hair behind her ear.

  He liked her smile. From the quick meeting he knew she didn’t smile enough. There was already something haunting in her eyes. He knew the truth as to why she looked so sad all the time.

  “Good.”

  “What else do you do or is the club everything?” she asked.

  “I’m an investor in small companies. The club is all mine and I intend to keep it that way.”

  “You come from money.” She made it more a statement than a question, which he didn’t dispute. Jesse appeared to be a good judge of character so far.

  He found himself liking her.

  * * * *

  When Jake grabbed her from the dungeon, Jesse had been so nervous. The look on his face let her know he meant business. He usually looked happy, ready to tease his next victim but suddenly he looked so serious. Then he’d told her about Ryan and how he couldn’t help her with her problem anymore. She didn’t have a problem at all but he felt she did.

  Staring up at Ryan she found herself relaxing. Surprised, she sat back in her seat, placing her purse on the ground beside her. The added protection of the purse was unnecessary. Ryan wouldn’t hurt her. He took great lengths to being in control and she respected him for it.

  “Yes, I come from money. Is that a draw for you?”

  “No, I’m not a gold-digger. I’m not asking for marriage or a ring. Far from it.” She licked her lips suddenly feeling dry.

  “Would you like some water?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She pressed a hand to her chest shocked by the rapid beating of her heart. What was happening to her? Her nipples ached and were in hard point
s pressing against the front of her dress. In all of her time with Jake she’d never responded to him like this. Pressing her legs together she felt the wetness between her thighs.

  She bit into her bottom lip and tried to stop the arousal building up inside her. Nothing happened. Ryan’s gaze landed on her, making her burn from the outside in. What was happening to her?

  “Here you go.” He handed her a glass of water. She took it from him. Their fingers brushed and electricity zinged through her body.

  Gasping, she pulled away to take a sip of the water. Some of the liquid fell over the side onto her chest. The droplets slid down between her breasts. His gaze fell onto her chest.

  “Lucky water.”

  Baffled, she continued to drink, hoping the water would help her thirst. His gaze slid down her body. She noticed he settled on her hips and thighs.

  “Most women want a man to provide for them and to get married,” he said, picking up the conversation where they left off.

  “I’m not most women. I don’t want anything from a man.”

  “Besides his cock?”

  Glancing down at her glass of water, she tried to get her bearings before looking back up at him. “No, I don’t want his cock either.”

  He knelt down in front of her. His palm landed on her thigh. She gritted her teeth as something deep and hard tugged at her stomach. “What happened to you never should have happened—”

  “It did happen, and I don’t care about that,” she said, cutting in.

  His grip tightened on her thighs. “I wasn’t finished. You will not speak unless I ask you to.”

  “We’re supposed to be talking.”

  He raised his palm and brought it down on her leg. It didn’t hurt but she knew he would spank her if he wished.

  “You’ve disobeyed me. We were talking, getting acquainted and you decided to butt in. I don’t like not being heard. One of my rules, Jesse, listen to me or we’re over. And I will make sure every Dom within the city will not touch you.”

  “There’s no way you’ll have that kind of power,” she said, melting under his possessive gaze.

  “I’ve got that kind of power, and a hell of a lot more.” He stayed in front of her with his hands on her knee. She wanted to open her thighs and to take it to the next level. “Don’t even think you can go back to Jake. I will destroy him if I have to.”

  “Why? You don’t even know me.”

  “You’ve been given to me, Jesse. I do not back down from a challenge. You’re a challenge, baby. Many probably think you’re damaged or even broken.” He stopped talking and she felt his gaze deep into her soul. Ryan saw things inside her that many refused to see. “I see a woman prepared to fight. You’ve never given up. Regardless of what others think you’re a strong woman. I like a strong woman.” His fingers inched up her thigh. The tips of his fingers went under the skirt of her dress.

  “You think I’m strong?” she asked. He’d be the first person. Even Jake thought she was weak.

  “Yes. Don’t you see it?”

  She shrugged. “I’m so used to everyone treating me as if I’m damaged that I don’t have the first clue if I am or not.”

  “Then let us explore this together.” He took her hand and rose to his feet, pulling her up with him. His masculinity, along with his cologne, surrounded her. “Put your hands around me.”

  Frowning, she rested her palms on the suit of his jacket.

  “Touch me.”

  “Is this another rule or something?” she asked. His chest was rock hard underneath her hands like an immovable object.

  “No rules. I just want to feel your hands on me. I’ll take my time with you and we can get to know each other.”

  “Don’t you have better things to do?”

  “No.”

  She ran her hands up and down his chest before circling his neck. He stayed still under her touch.

  “I’m not this important. I don’t need you to focus your life on me.” Even as she said the words she wished she hadn’t.

  He smiled. “You don’t mean that.” Ryan leaned in close. “We’re going to do this, Jesse. Are you a coward or are you ready to live your life?”

  I want to live. I don’t want to be this damaged little girl.

  Her heart thumped inside her chest, begging to get out.

  Hope sprung inside her. Could she possibly come away from her past and delve into something magnetic and amazing.

  “Sometimes in life you’ve got to learn to trust your instincts. What do you want, Jesse? Tell me what you want.”

  She stared past his shoulder. I want to be me. I want to be happy with the past forgotten.

  Her physiatrist told her the only problem she faced was her family. Her family remembered the pain of the past just like Jake. Even though he’d been helping her to achieve some kind of pleasure, she knew he held himself away from her. Everyone was afraid of bringing her past up or saying something that made her remember.

  “I want to move on, and I want to feel,” she said, meaning every single word.

  “Then we’ll move on, baby. Tomorrow is Saturday. Do you work tomorrow?”

  She nodded. “I finish at two. It’s a half day.”

  “I’ll pick you up at two. We’re going to spend some time together to get to know each other.”

  Chapter Two

  After Ryan drove her home, he’d gone back to the club to keep an eye on business. Three in the morning he went home for some rest. If he’d taken the coffee she'd offered him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to walk away. Jesse called to him in ways he thought were long dead.

  He’d never been married before but he’d taken plenty of subs in his time. None of the women ever made him feel like Jesse. What was he thinking? Jesse wasn’t like any of the women he’d been with. Her past threatened to control her future at every turn. Talking with Jake showed him the kind of trouble he’d face when he finally met her family.

  While Jesse tried to move past her pain, her family was more interested in reminding her at every turn.

  He threw his keys onto the kitchen counter, and turned the light on. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a beer before going through to his shower. He always liked to end a Friday night on a beer. Turning the shower on, he stripped out of his suit and took several minutes to look over his body in the mirror. At forty he took his health serious. Checking his flesh for any unexplained blemish or mysterious lumps, he found nothing. His arms, back and chest were covered in ink.

  Growing up he’d been addicted to the feel of the needle against his skin. Up one of his arms was a black tribal tattoo, while down the other showed a rounded snake that went up to his neck. No one saw his ink while he wore his suits. He had an eagle across his back, and on his chest several different designs, some black some colorful.

  He took a quick wash and once he finished, wrapped a towel around his waist. Ryan grabbed his beer from the sink where he left it, taking a couple of swigs from the bottle. Heading to his bedroom, he closed the blinds and settled down on the bed. Ryan turned on the television, seeing some porno flick on the channel. Rolling his eyes at the triple penetration, he started looking through the channels.

  Porn no longer pushed any of his buttons. Every time he watched a little scene here or there, he couldn’t help but imagine a guy behind the camera telling them to go faster, slow down or pull out and suck.

  Once he started thinking about that, he lost interest. Sex wasn’t about going through the motions.

  Fuck, I’m getting old.

  Running a hand down his face, he finished his beer and turned off the television. He needed sleep if he was to get to Jesse in time for their first date. They were not going to do anything other than go to the cinema. Grabbing his phone from the side drawer, he clicked on the internet and did a quick search.

  None of the movies gained his interest. With no movie to watch he settled on taking her for a picnic. He set his alarm for seven. Ryan knew a woman down at the local deli who made hampers
providing she had a few hours to get it ready. After he put his order in he could go back to sleep and pick it up at one then head over to Jesse’s place of work. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea.

  Sleep evaded him. Growling in frustration, he stared down at the problem. His cock laid rock hard against his stomach. Thoughts of Jesse made him instantly erect.

  Gripping his shaft, he closed his eyes thinking about the blonde beauty who’d invaded his life. There was no way a woman he’d known less than twelve hours should have this effect on him.

  He fisted the length, feeling the heavy throb of his arousal intensify.

  Thinking about Jesse, he imagined what she would look like naked. Her tits would be firm and heavy in his palms. He would put money on her having large round, red nipples that would fill his mouth to perfection.

  Ryan imagined peeling the dress away from her body, revealing her lovely flesh inch by inch. Her curves would call to him. He’d stroke a hand up and down her sides, memorizing the shape of her body. She’d possess large, heavy tits, a small waist but a rounded stomach with thick hips. From the look of her alone he knew she could take a pounding. If she wanted some pain mixed in with her pleasure then he was more than happy to give it to her. Ryan took great pleasure in being able to give his submissives what they liked.

  For many years he’d trained to be a good, experienced Dom. He read people in order to know what to do to bring them the greatest satisfaction. Jesse was hiding from what she truly wanted.

  She made all the right sounds and denials yet he witnessed a yearning deep inside her. Jesse wanted a lot more than plain simple fucking. He didn’t know how he was going to give her everything her heart desired. All Ryan knew was he’d do everything in his power to give Jesse what she needed.

  Fisting his length, he worked from the base up to the root, imagining the feel of Jesse around him. He wondered how her lips would feel taking his shaft deep into her mouth. Would she swallow his cum or would he need to pull out at the last minute and splash his cum over her full tits? Either one turned him on more than the last. Groaning, he cupped his balls, tightening his grip as the first wave of his seed erupted onto his stomach.