Not Damaged Read online

  “I don’t know, Jesse. They’re your family.”

  “I’m seeing them tomorrow. I don’t know if I can handle being with them now.” Tears filled her eyes at the unfairness of it all.

  “We’ll get through this together, Jesse. You’ll visit your family tomorrow like normal.”

  Staring at her lap, her nerves started to get the better of her. “Will you want to see me again?”

  Ryan cupped her face, tilting her head back. “Baby, we’re not done at all. We’ll be seeing a hell of a lot more of each other in the future.” He pressed his face against hers. His lips brushed over hers. She wanted his kiss. “We’ve got so much to explore with each other, sub.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Chapter Three

  The following Friday Ryan sat at his office desk going through some of the membership requests made in the last month. He liked to check through all of the applications personally while also conducting a background check on every member. Out of the ten he was checking through, two of them wished to become a full-time Dominant within his club. One of them he’d consider but the other stretched the limits of what he accepted in his club.

  Knife and blood play was accepted but for Ryan that took the boundaries of his desire for Extreme too far. Before setting up his club he’d been part of a private one that accepted anything. He’d seen knife play performed under proper supervision. Extreme would not be accepting that kind of play anytime soon as he opened to the whole of the public. Picking up the phone, he declined the membership, giving his doubts and the wished the man well in the future. There was no bad blood and soon he moved onto the next call, organizing an interview to see the Dom in question in action.

  All the time he worked he couldn’t stop thinking about his blonde bombshell waiting for him at her house. She phoned him earlier asking for him to stop by to stay. In the last week he had stayed in her house twice. Nothing happened between them as he slept on the sofa in the living room. Slowly, he started to see her bloom. Her fears of him were disappearing every day he spent with her.

  Placing the phone back in the cradle, he declined three more applications as other places spoke of their violent behaviors. Once he settled on the people who would be allowed membership into Extreme, he sat back enjoying a few minutes of peace.

  His peace was short lived as a knock sounded on the door.

  “Come in,” he called out. The door opened and he pulled the folders into one neat pile before filing them away in his cabinet.

  Jake stood in the doorway before closing it behind him.

  “What do I owe this visit to?” he asked, taking his seat back at the table.

  “I wanted to talk to you about Jesse.”

  “We have an agreement, Jake.” He stared at the other man waiting for whatever warning Jake felt he had the right to voice.

  “I know. I just need to make sure everything is going okay. I mean, I saw her at dinner on Sunday—”

  Ryan knew all about the dinner. At around five in the afternoon, Jesse phoned him to tell him everything that happened. Holding his hand up in the air, he waited for Jake to stop talking. “I’m not going to talk to you about my woman or my methods with her. You had your chance and it wasn’t working between you.”

  “I don’t want to cause any problems.”

  “You’re causing problems now by thinking I’m going to talk about our time together with you.” He leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk. “Let me make one thing clear, Jake. You passed her on and she’s no longer your concern. I’m going to take care of Jesse how I see fit.”

  “She means a lot.”

  “Yet you’re not in love with her. Your feelings are of friendship not lust or love. You’ve never made her feel like you wanted forever,” Ryan said, feeling defensive against the man opposite him.

  “You’re wrong. I care about her. She means the world to me. I’d hate to have anything happen to her. Jesse doesn’t want anything—”

  Shaking his head, Ryan glared at the other man. “You don’t even have a clue what Jesse wants. She’s a lot stronger than you or that family of hers gives her credit for.”

  “You’ve only known her a week,” Jake said.

  Ryan stared at him without saying a word.

  “We’ll not be talking about this again, Jake. The same rules apply. Do not think to say anything to me about Jesse. Now, get out.”

  He waited for the other man to leave before he relaxed back into his chair.

  Checking the time he saw it was close to midnight. He picked up the phone to dial Jesse’s number.

  She answered on the second ring. “Hello,” she said, sounding awake and alert.

  “Hi, honey, I’m not going to be done for another hour. Are you sure you want me to still come see you tonight?” he asked, wishing she’d say yes. In the last week he’d grown attached to her as well.

  They hadn’t developed their relationship and were more friends than anything else. He knew in time they would be more. Their attraction between each other would see to that.

  “Yes, I’ve not got work tomorrow. This Saturday is my day off.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

  “Drive safe.”

  He hung up the phone. Earlier in the week he talked with David to discover a little more about her at work.

  Jesse, from what he learned, was quiet, hard-working, and everyone kept trying to lure her into a personal assistant role. So far she had turned down three of the lawyers working in the office, each within a different area of the law. Her dedication to the clients and work made her an asset they didn’t want to lose. Ryan also found out about her being head hunted for a personal assistant role in other firms. He knew Jesse enough to know her loyalty would stay with the firm she worked.

  Grabbing the other files in his workload he went through several more contracts, along with the collar ceremonies he hosted for exclusive members of the club. In the last month there were three collaring occasions he needed to organize. Signing off on them, he placed them in the correspondence tray. He would talk with the couples in question the following week.

  An hour later, he went to see Bill to make sure his club was still thriving before he headed out for the night. Seeing Jesse was fast becoming one of his favorite things to do.

  * * * *

  Staring at the clock, Jesse tried not to count down the time until Ryan would arrive. She walked toward her window looking out to see if she saw any sign of his car. Nothing. She dropped the curtain, grabbed her cup from the side drawer beside her bed and headed downstairs.

  Putting the kettle on, she started to make a cup of tea. She really did love drinking tea late at night, one of her guilty pleasures. The chocolate cake she’d baked that night stood covered on a cake stand glaring at her to devour. Her mouth watered for a taste of the crumbly cake flesh. Instead of grabbing a fork and just digging in she waited for Ryan to turn up.

  Spending the afternoon with him on Saturday made seeing her family the following day easier. None of them asked her about her time, which she was thankful for. She spent the time at her parents thinking about Ryan and what he’d said to her.

  He'd proved her wrong by sticking around. One week, he knew what happened in her past, and he’d be arriving very soon. His touch didn’t hurt her either. When he reached out to touch, stroke or hold her hand, she didn’t pull away or feel threatened by him.

  The kettle clicked off as she heard the car parking on her drive, which was empty. She didn’t drive and therefor didn’t own a car. Seconds later he knocked on the door. She stood up and looked down at her bedtime shorts and vest top. The shorts stopped at the knee not showing off a lot of flesh. Her face clear of makeup while her hair fell around her shoulders in waves.

  Her heart pounded against her chest as she walked toward the door. Ryan stood patiently waiting when she looked out of the peep hole.

  Opening the door, she smiled at him. His gaze travelled up and down her body, making her ache all ove
r for him. Jake, for all of his help, never left her feeling like this. Ryan made her feel like she was burning alive for his touch.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey, baby. It was a busy night at the club.”

  “Extreme is always busy on a Friday.” She knew but he asked for her not to go to the club for some time. Jesse did as he asked.

  Ryan walked in, taking the door from her grasp and closing it behind him. Heat radiated off his body and she whimpered at the power of his look alone. No man should hold such power from a glance.

  “I’m making tea,” she said, heading toward her kitchen. With Ryan inside her house, her space suddenly felt really small.

  He followed her into the kitchen and sat in the chair she’d been sitting in. His big body made her feel so small.

  “I made a chocolate cake.” She pointed to where the cake stood. “Would you like a slice?” she asked.

  “I’d love a slice.”

  Breathing out a sigh of relief, she cut two slices, handing him tea and cake together. She took the seat opposite him, giving him a fork to eat the sticky cake.

  “You made this?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Out of a packet?”

  She scrunched her nose up. “Packets are not that great. No, I made it from scratch from a recipe book I own.” Cookbooks were another of her few simple pleasures.

  “It’s delicious.”

  Glowing from the compliment, she took a bite tasting the intense chocolate flavor. She agreed with the taste. It was positively sinful.

  “Jake came to see me tonight,” he said.

  Jesse tensed at the mention of the other man. On Sunday he tried to draw her into conversation about Ryan. She told him to leave it be. No one from her family needed to know about any relationship or friendship she’d developed with Ryan.

  “He’s worried about you.”

  Wiping her lips with her fingers, she looked at Ryan. His dark brown gaze stared back at her.

  “He tried to talk to me the other day. I wouldn’t tell him anything. It’s none of his business what happens between us. Do you think I should have told him something?” she asked, not knowing if she’d done the right thing.

  “No, I’ve told him to leave us alone. We’re not doing anything wrong, Jesse. He’s got no right to start asking questions or to see what’s happening.”

  “I agree. It’s another reason why I don’t want to go to the club. He’s there all the time and he’ll try to ask questions.” She took another bite of cake. “I know he cares about me.”

  “The next time he asks about you and you’re uncomfortable just tell him to back off. It’s none of his business what we do.” He repeated his words again.

  Ryan started talking about his work and some of the applications he’d declined for membership within his club. She listened, always intrigued to know what went on in his life.

  When they were finished, he left the room as she finished up in the kitchen. In the window across the sink she saw her reflection. Looking down at her shirt she saw the pebbled buds of her nipples and gasped. Her face was flushed. Heat built between her thighs and she crossed her legs.

  Stop getting turned on. Nothing is going to happen tonight.

  She couldn’t help feeling disappointed at her own thoughts. Ryan wouldn’t take it to the next level. After only a week she should be happy about him taking his time. So many women at work complained about how fast their men wanted to get them in bed.

  Thinking about work reminded her of the grilling Denise gave her, asking her about Ryan. Next week she hoped he would stop by for Denise to meet him.

  David no longer bothered her, keeping his distance, which she liked.

  Heading into the sitting room she found Ryan sitting in her chair. The arms of his shirt pulled up to his elbows revealing the array of ink she’d spotted in the week. The top exposed a little more chest showing more of his ink. Licking her lips, she stopped to stare at the pure masterful posture he showed.

  “Come here, Jesse,” he said.

  His voice was deep not giving her room to argue with him. Staring into his eyes, she saw the hardness reflecting back but also the care within his depth. The combined emotion looking at her made her take the next step, then the next.

  * * * *

  Seeing Jesse in the shorts and vest did nothing to stem his arousal. Ryan had been determined to give her more time but he couldn’t wait any longer to hear her pleasure. Unbuttoning the top of his shirt, he then rolled up his sleeves before sitting down. He didn’t want sex tonight. Sex would wait. Touching wasn’t off the menu and he’d been a good boy for so long.

  She appeared in the doorway, looking at him. Her legs crossed and he wondered if she was dripping wet, thinking about him claiming her for his own.

  “Come here, baby.”

  She stared at him waiting to see whatever she needed to see before walking toward him. Jesse paused in front of him, far enough for her to escape. He stared at her stomach. The rounded curves of her hips begged him to hold on to.

  “Are you going to stay there?” he asked, making no move to pull her closer.

  Jesse would have to do all the work. He wouldn’t force her to move closer. Everything they did together would be about Jesse showing her trust of him. She took a deep breath before stepping closer to him.

  He reached out, taking her hand in his. Watching their fingers touch then lock together moved him deeply. Her fingers didn’t shake and she wasn’t terrified of him. Skimming the tips of his fingers with his free hand up her thigh, he heard her quickly indrawn breath.

  Her flesh was soft to the touch. Going down, he caressed around the back of her knee then round to go under the end of the shorts.

  “Tell me to stop, Jesse,” he said, looking up into her eyes. Her blue eyes were wide and she shook her head.

  “I don’t want you to stop.”

  He went under her shorts going as far as the fabric would allow stopping before he reached her pussy.

  “We’re not fucking.”

  “Why not?” she asked, sounding outraged.

  Chuckling, he leaned back. “We’ve got all the time in the world. Tonight is not about fucking but about pleasure.”

  “The two are one of the same.”

  “No, they’re not. You’ve not felt what pleasure I can give you.” Releasing his hold on her, he sat back looking at her.

  “Are you my Sir tonight?”

  “No. Tonight we’re Ryan and Jesse.” He waited for his words to sink in. “Have there been other men?”

  “Yes, but I’ve never felt like this before,” she said. Her hand rested on her stomach.

  “Then tell me, baby, do you want what I can give you?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t hesitate once in her response.

  Drawing one foot over his knee, he gazed up and down her body. She was so fucking sexy even in old night clothes. He wondered what she would look like in sexy silk negligees.

  “Take your clothes off,” he said.

  Her gaze returned to his eyes once again. When she was satisfied with what she saw, she wriggled out of the shorts then pulled the vest up over her head. She stood before him with nothing on. Her pale skin glowed in the light from the living room.

  She rested her hands across her stomach. Ryan leaned forward, dropping his foot back down to the floor, he pulled her hand away from her stomach. “No need to cover yourself, baby. You’re so fucking sexy.” He held her hands away from her, locking their fingers together so she didn’t have any reason to pull away from him.

  Tears filled her eyes as she looked down at him.

  “No one ever told you how beautiful you are?” he asked, concern for her consuming him.

  “No.”

  “I’ll be changing that, baby.” He stood up, surrounding her body with his warmth. The curtains were drawn. They were alone together. Releasing her hands, he cupped her cheek, tilting her head back.

  With his other hand, he sank his fingers
into her hair. “Your blonde hair is what caught my attention first.” Stroking his fingers through the locks, he watched the length flow around her shoulders. He followed the strands that finished at her butt. “It’s so golden and glossy. I imagine sinking my fingers into your hair, like now.” He gripped her hair, showing her what he imagined doing to her all the time. “When I’m working, I think about how your hair will feel over my body as you kiss me.”

  “You think about that?”

  “I think of nothing else.” Running his fingers along her lips, he let out a moan. “Your lips are so plump and inviting, I wonder how you can be single with lips like yours.”

  She made to duck her head but he stopped her with the grip he had on her hair.

  “No looking away, Jesse. It’s time you realized what a beautiful, desirable woman you are. You’ve got no idea what men see in you when they look into your eyes.” He moved his hand down to cup her throat. The pulse at the side of her neck beat rapidly against his fingers. He caressed down until he rested over her beating heart. Her chest rose and fell. They both knew what was coming next. “Your skin is so soft.” Stroking across her chest, he watched her eyes close as a moan escaped. “I want to caress your body and bring you to orgasm every chance I get.”

  He moved down to stroke above each breast. Circling her nipple he watched as her nub tightened. “Your breasts are so large and beautiful.” Ryan cupped her mound, watching her whimper in response. Moving on to the next he gave it the same amount of attention. “Look at how you respond. Your body knows mine. It knows I will not harm you.”

  “You won’t hurt me.”

  She repeated his words. He gripped her face, drawing her in close. “No, I will never harm you. Even as your Master I will do everything in my power to protect you and bring you pleasure. Harming you is never my intention.” Staring down at her lips, Ryan couldn’t resist. He closed the distance and slammed his mouth down on hers.

  * * * *

  Ryan’s tongue demanded entrance and Jesse opened up to him, giving him what he wanted. She knew deep down in her heart she didn’t wish to deny him anything. In the last few minutes of her life she’d felt so beautiful. His hands on her body made her feel desired, needed almost.